Hold On
by Nightstar Fury
Summary: One person Hiccup thought would always be there for him, turns on him. Feeling he no longer has a reason to stay, he decides he'd be better off dead. He tries to kill himself but is saved by an unlikely savior, and that savior ends up becoming his best friend. The village realizes what they have done, they want to make it up to him but find its not so easy to get his forgiveness.
1. Prologue

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 1.

It was starting again, another day of being beaten by the village. The people who were supposed to be his tribe. In a tribe people help one another, protect one another but in this tribe one 15 year old boy was never treated like a tribe member, rather an outcast. It had been happening almost everyday for years, since he was 8. At first it was just being shoved around, being pushed to the ground, bring tripped, and belittled with terrible names. But as he got older the abuse only continued and got worse. There were some who just watched. There were some who would brake up the one sided fight, but leave him there alone. He did have parents, parent actually.

His mother died when he was two, and he barely remembered her. His father on the other hand, who had once been there for him was suddenly never around after losing his wife. The man turned cold towards his own son and knew of the abuse he suffered but never helped him, or stopped it. He went as far as pretending he didn't know, even when there was physical proof it was pushed off as an accident or he'd hurt himself. The boy never understood why he was so hated by his village, he never did anything wrong.

"Hey useless, gonna destroy anything today?! Haha!" Came the voice of his cousin. One of his main bullies in life.

"Please stop..." The boy pleaded as he was shoved towards the hands of another boy.

"Come on Hiccup, it's just a game. Don't be a poor sport..." Said the other male.

This is how it always was. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, the village punching bag. He'd only left his house to go to the forge, now he'd be late and probably be scolded by his father for such. Before he could protest again, he felt a fist slam in to his gut making his cough out then double over in pain. He grunted then feeling himself be pushed face first in to the ground, he was pretty sure he got a few scrapes on his face and wrists from it.

"You're so weak. Can't even handle one punch cuz?" His cousin teased. Snotlout Jorgenson, Hiccup's younger cousin by two months. Snotlout's father, Spitelout was Hiccup's father, Stoick's brother, younger by almost 2 years. Snotlout always picked on Hiccup, every day without fail with his friends. Other bullies Hiccup had were Ruffnut and Tuffnut Thorsten. One of their friends Fishlegs Ingerman usually only watched from the sides and told them when to give it a rest. And one person only belittled him, her name was Astrid Hofferson.

She was a girl that Hiccup had a major crush on but he never had the courage to talk to her, that and he was pretty much invisible to her and all of the village unless he was getting publically beat on. What was sad was that Hiccup was Stoick's son, and Stoick was the chief of the tribe. Hiccup was the heir of the chief and future chief of the island, but that didn't matter to anyone. Not even his own father.

The blacksmith, Gobber was also Hiccup's mentor. He was good for making Hiccup laugh, though that man practically raised Hiccup he still gave his little sarcastic remarks about how Hiccup was. Hiccup loved to invent, and draw. Most of his inventions would backfire, and cause destruction which would then lead to him getting scolded by his father in front of the entire village. Great life, right.

"Worthless."

"Useless."

"Embarrassment of Berk."

"Disappointment."

"You'll never be anything."

"Weakling."

"Stupid."

"Destructive."

"You're nothing more than a Hiccup." The words tore at him, inside and out. While the words left mental scars on his mind, while his bullies and tribe left physical scars on his body. This went on for hours it seemed when in reality maybe it was 20 minutes before they walked away snickering leaving Hiccup in a crumbled mess on the dirt road. He had fresh bruises, new cuts, and was covered in dirt. Slowly he forced himself to his feet and limped towards the forge not wanting to be any later than he already was.

Reaching the forge 10 minutes later, he walked in trying to keep his face hidden from Gobber. Hiccup put on his apron and started sharpening weapons. They wanted to be ready for the next dragon raid, Hiccup didn't care though. He'd seen a dragon up close before, and it never harmed him. He knew they were simply misunderstood and no one would give them a chance. He knew this because 2 years ago he met a dragon face to face, he even helped it heal from an injury.

"There yew are laddie." Gobber's cheery voice cut through his thoughts.

"So–sorry...I–I got held up." Hiccup apologized quickly to him. "Pl–please don't tell my dad..." Hiccup asked.

"I didn't plan too lad. Just get to work...Lots of weapons to sharpen, fix, and organize." Gobber smiled at him. Hiccup forced a smile and nodded getting back to work as Gobber hobbled away to take care of customers in the front. Hiccup sighed focusing on the sword he was sharpening while thinking back to when he met the dragon. It wasn't just an ordinary dragon either, it was a Night Fury. A dragon no Viking had ever seen, had never even gotten close to without dying on the spot.

The dragon was rumored to never leave people alive, and never miss a target. Even the dragon manual on the island had nothing about Night Furies. Speed was unknown. Size was unknown. It was labeled the unholy offspring of lightening and death itself, and the only warning the book offered was to hide and pray it did not find out. This wasn't the case for Hiccup and even two years later he pondered why this dragon didn't kill him when it saw him. _'I remember it like it was yesterday...'_ Hiccup thought sighing.

 **/Flashback/**

 _ **[Hiccup's POV]**_

 _I woke up sluggishly, my body still sore from the beatings I sustained from the villagers days before. My head felt like I'd been hit with a hammer, my body felt like I'd been sleeping in a cramped box for a week. It was terrible, but then a smile came to my lips because I remembered that today...was my birthday! I was 13 today, finally making me a teenager. Today would be amazing. I rushed out of bed tossing off the blanket, slipped on my brown boots, and made it down the stairs. My first hopes of seeing my dad there were gone, as usual. He was never there when I got up, and every year since I was 6 he never wished me a happy birthday._

 _I got used to it of course and just carried on about my morning. I made myself some breakfast, just eggs and mutton then cleaned up the area to get outside and to the forge. Birthday or not, I still had a job to do. There had been a bad raid yesterday and a lot of weapons would be needing fixing or sharpening. I was Gobber's apprentice in the forge, my main job was keeping the weapons in the weaponry organized, or sharpening. I could fix or forge small things like daggers, or bolas. I actually made my own dagger, it never left my sight either. First one I ever did all by myself when I was 10._

 _My father Stoick, had instructed Gobber to just teach me how to organize and sharpen but he's taught me almost everything he knows. I could run that shop by myself by now but everything thought I was stupid and would just destroy everything. Gobber has been the one to make me smile when I'm upset because the village thinks I'm useless, he's the man I consider my father but no one knows that. I don't have any friends, everyone just picks on me but after so many years I've learned to just take the beatings then leave. Gobber has always told me that if anyone was giving me trouble to let him know and he'll take care of it for me, but if I tell him then everyone will just hate me more for getting them in trouble so I keep my mouth shut._

 _When Gobber notices bruises or cuts from beatings, I just tell him I fell or banged myself up in the forge. It happens a lot in there so he buys it. I feel bad lying to him but what choice do I have at this point? Everyone hates me as it is but if I can get away not being pummeled for being a tattle-tale as it were then I was going to. Today would be good...it was my birthday...no one would hurt me today. Right? As soon as I made it down the hill from my father's house and entered the village it started._

 _I was ran in to by someone clearly in a hurry. They didn't bother to apologize, I just sighed it off and kept going. It continued the entire 20 minute walk to the forge. People pushing me, shoving me to get out of their way. By the time I got there, I was already sporting new bruises on my face and arms but thankfully I always wore a long sleeved green tunic so no one saw. "There you are lad, was beginning to think you'd skip out on me." Gobber chuckled as I entered and tossing on my apron, tying it around my thin body._

 _I am 13 years old with auburn hair and forest green eyes. I'm not burly like the rest of my tribe, I'm a twig. Officially about 100 pounds even, and standing about 5 feet 2 inch. My name is Hiccup because its Viking tradition to call the runt of the litter a Hiccup also parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Must be working because I've never seen any. "I would never willingly miss a day to be here with you, Gobber." I replied to him._

 _"Awe lad, it means a lot to old Gobber that yew want to spend yer every wakin moment with me in 'ere." Gobber choked up wiping his imaginary tears. I rolled my eyes looking around at the work load for today, piled up at the front window and a line of at least 15 still waiting._

 _"Hurry up boy!" One Viking shouted at me. Gobber hobbled over pointing his hook hand at them._

 _"Listen 'ere yew. The lad just arrived. You'll get yer weapons when they are done, now drop off yer tings and move along." Gobber ordered, the men grumbled but did as they were told. This is why I liked being in the forge, it was hard work and dangerous but it kept me safe from out there. I immediately got right to work on fixing the easiest things which were bolas, daggers, hammers. Then I would work on sharpening axes, swords, and maces. When those were done an hour and 30 minutes later I gave them to Gobber smiling, "Done Gobber." I told him._

 _"Beard of Thor boy. Already?" Gobber blinked a few times looking at the carefully placed and laid out weapons on the finished work table._

 _"They were...easy fixes, Gobber. Just tweaks and sharpening...You know it doesn't take long..." I shrug a little._

 _"You'll make a great blacksmith one day laddie with that speed." Gobber chuckled, I beamed. I didn't receive many compliments but when I did, it felt good. "Why don't you go on deliveries today. You know who they belong to, go around and hand them out." Gobber smiled._

 _"N–no...its okay. I'll just stay in here and keep working..." I rejected quickly, a little afraid. Gods I hated deliveries, people looked at me with such disgust when I dropped off their things._

 _"Nonsense boy! Go on now." Gobber insisted. I sighed heavily nodding to him, I took off my apron then hung it on the hook. I couldn't refuse to do it without telling him why I didn't want too so best to suck it up and just get it over with. It was my birthday, maybe people would remember that. I loaded up everything on the cart the easiest way for me to just give people their things then leave again. I hated disorganization and Gobber knew that which is why he named me in charge of keeping weapons in the weaponry nice and clean._

 _Everything was where it should be in there. I had barrels to separate maces, axes, swords, double sided axes, and spears. There were shelves for hammers, ropes, and nets. Then bolas hung on the right wall, daggers on the left. It was perfect because I always knew where something was if someone needed it. In raids they'd come to me, and demand what they need. I'd have it to them in seconds. It was one of the better things I could do, Gobber was in charge of fixing weapons that were damaged while I did littler things. I kept track of the weapons in there, I knew every weapon by heart and how to craft it. It was up to me to keep the stock up, if I noticed something was lacking I'd tell Gobber and he'd have it ready they next day._

 _"I–I'll be back soon." I called as I picked up the two handles on the cart and started wheeling it through town. It was heavy, by all my years working in the forge paid off. I might of been skinny and looked like a fishbone but I still had some muscle. I just couldn't fight to save my life. I mumbled to myself while reaching where everyone was, I took a deep breath and put on a fake smile. "We–Weapons up!" I called out, I was nervous. Last time I did deliveries, I returned to the forge looking like I'd been through war and back. The people all began turn and walk towards the cart grumbling that I was out doing it._

 _"Where's my sword!" One demanded._

 _"And my mace." Another yelled._

 _"Eve–Everything is right on the cart..." I stammered meekly._

 _"Don't get smart boy..." Said the man who demanded the sword from me, I forced back the urge to roll my eyes at him and got his sword. He inspected it throughly before nodding and putting it away in his belt. "Looks good as new, that Gobber is a weapons miracle worker." The man laughed._

 _"Ac–actually...I–I'm the one who fixed it...I–I fixed all this stuff...Gobber's busy making weapons...I'm in charge of fixing and sharpening..." I said quickly._

 _"I find it hard to believe useless did all that work, he's taking credit for Gobber's work!" One woman yelled._

 _"N–No..I mean it...A–ask Gobber yourself...he watched me do it." I protest in fear of being hit._

 _"Can you prove it, useless?" Came Snotlout's voice._

 _"Under the guard, closest to the handle...my initials are engraved. Gobber doesn't mark his work...I do." I remarked mumbling. A few people took their weapons and looked closely under their handles and narrowed their eyes in anger but also defeat. I watched the rest of the crowd check theirs, more scowls. I knew what they saw, 'HHH III'. My initials standing for Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third._

 _"You are telling me useless made these weapons!?" Snotlout demanded angrily._

 _"You said you only fixed and sharpened them, not made them. You lied!" Astrid yelled now. I winced, great...even on my birthday I was going to get beat up just because I made their weapons. It was true, he wasn't supposed to make weapons but when Gobber got backed up he had to help him out. Why not, he was good at it after all._

 _"Look...Gobber's only one man. He can't keep up on everything during raids..." I say quickly. I watched people suddenly throw their weapons away, not wanting them because he'd made them. I saw Astrid trying to shatter her axe, I'd made it for her 10th birthday. She was getting frustrated because the head wouldn't break, I walked over and took it from her. "Here, let me help you." I grumbled._

 _"Psh, as if you can break an axe. You're weak, useless." I hear Tuffnut say._

 _"There's a reason your weapons that I made won't break..." I now raised Astrid's axe slightly with one hand then turned it only a few inches so it'd be on an angle then brought it down on the ground, shattering the metal head to pieces. I heard their mouths open with a gasp of shock. I lifted the wooden handle and snapped it over my knee. "And it's because you don't know the pressure points in them. Not even Gobber does...So go ahead and throw away your weapons just because I made them...I really don't care anymore. When you have nothing for the raid, you can explain to the chief why you refuse to use them...You can explain the village's destruction by dragons was because you refused to use weapons made by me...For once...it won't be my god damn fault." I'd had enough, I left the cart there and walked away. I wasn't dealing with it._

 _I returned to the forge angrily, fuming in fact. "Done already?" I hear Gobber ask._

 _"I am never...doing deliveries again. Ungrateful, unappreciative people...Throwing their weapons away because I made them..." I grumbled putting my apron on and getting to work. I felt Gobber's eyes on me, watching my every move. In my anger, my arm slipped and I slit my wrist on a sharp corner._

 _"Lad, lad! Easy..." Gobber instructed as he hobbled over to check my now bleeding wrist. I'd hurt myself before in the forge, normally I freaked out and looked for something bandage it until I could get to Gothi, the village healer and elder. But this time, it was different. I just stared at it absent mindedly, watching the blood seep from the wound and it was that moment when my anger seemed to fade, so did the pain of watching everyone toss my made weapons. Nothing...hurt. I was void. "Hiccup...wrap that before you bleed out, I don't want to explain to yer father you died on my watch..." Gobber told me handing me a rag._

 _'Like he'd care...' I thought as I took the rag and cleaned the blood then took another and wrapped my wrist._

 _"Why don't you take the rest of the day off lad, you can't work in here while you're mad..." Gobber offered softly._

 _"Yeah...thanks, Gobber...I'll just...go take a walk or something and come back when I calm down. I need to clear my head..." I replied then walked off._

 _"And see Gothi about that wrist!" He called to me, I gave a nod still walking. I had no destination while I walked through the village. I kept my head up, an annoyed look on my eyes and no emotion on my face. Why hide I was pissed and hurt? I glanced at the cart I'd left there and noticed people had picked up the weapons they tossed and no one seemed to be making eye contact with me anymore. I only scoffed irritated._

 _'They only picked them up because they knew my dad would be angry finding out they threw away good weapons and left the village defenseless for a raid just because they hated who crafted them. Hell, I even crafted my dad's axe and he knows I did but he never tossed it...Whatever...' I thought still walking silently. I stopped by the fish and fruit stands and grabbed a few things to eat, I paid for them and kept walking silently._

 _After walking far enough I was at the edge of the forest entrance, so I kept going. I just walked for hours, never said a word either. My wrist stung a little but honestly I didn't care, it felt good. I liked how it felt and I kind of wanted to feel it again. Pulling me from the thoughts I heard a roar and froze. Was there a dragon here? I cautiously kept walked until I found torn up ground, split trees, and more destruction. "What happened here..." I asked myself and kept going until I reached an area shielded by rocks, but a small enough opening for me to get in. I walked in and looked around it and then I saw it, my eyes widened to saucers seeing it in the cove. A dragon. A Night Fury. I couldn't believe it, what was it doing here? Night Furies were rarely seen and those who got this close were normally dead moments after. Not to mention, seeing one in the day time was unheard of._

 _I heard it roar again, but now seeing closer it wasn't a roar of anger. It was one of pain, I saw its wing bent and broken. It was hurt and couldn't fly out of the cove. I watched it laying near the lake trying to catch a fish but it kept failing. I knew it was weak, probably tired and hungry too. What did I do? Stay and help it? Go get someone? I went to leave, it was a dragon. Vikings hated dragons, we'd been at war for 300 years with them. As I turned, my foot slipped on the rocks and I fell back and down to ground level in the cove. "Ow..." I groaned._

 _I heard the dragon growl at me, hissing in anger. I froze slightly not moving, if it was going to kill me I didn't want to see it do it. Oddly enough, it never attacked me and when I went to look I found it closer to me only staring at me. "H–hi there mister Ni–Night Fury..." I said. "I–I didn't mean to bother you...I slipped in...I'll go." I told it as I went to get up. It crooned at me, and I blinked a few times, was it...trying to communicate with me? I heard a stomach grumble, it was the dragons. I felt bad, poor thing was hurt and couldn't hunt to survive. "Alright...ea–easy boy...y–you are a boy right?" I asked. The dragon seemed to give a nod with its head._

 _I reached in to my bag and pulled out 5 fish, they were the ones I bought earlier. I wasn't going to let it starve, it was hurt. I knew what it felt like to be defenseless against something I couldn't control. I laid them down on the ground and took a step back. The Night Fury looked at me, then the food a few times. "Its...okay. Go ahead...I don't need it. I have other food I can eat...You need it more...to get your strength back." I tried to smile at him. I watched the dragon crouch a little and start eating slowly. "I–I can get more if you want, I'll bring you food until you heal..." I offered. The dragon looked up at me and offered a gummy smile, it was small but I could see that he was trying to say that he was okay with that._

 _When he finished eating the fish I was sitting down eating an apple. I saw him inch towards me, sniffling curiously. His nose focused in on my arm, the one I'd cut earlier. I took the wrapping off and showed him, it was still bleeding a little. He looked at me, then my wrist again. "I–I got hurt earlier is all, I'll be okay. I'll heal...just like you." I forced a smile to him. The dragon to my shock started licking my arm along the cut, he stepped back once as I watched the bleeding stop and the wound start to close slowly. "Ca–can your saliva heal wounds?" I asked him. He nodded to me. "Wow...thanks..." I tell him._

 _"I can...help fix your wing...if you'll let me. Seems only fair that you helped me...I want to help you too." I smile. He seemed hesitant at first but then he laid down at my feet with his hurt wing out. I nod rushing to get the things I need to make a splint. I grabbed 4 large sticks and brought them over to his wing, I set them up how they needed to be then got a rope from my bag and began tying it. I stepped back after 15 minutes and smiled. "There you go, doesn't hurt as much right?" I asked him. He panted happily with his tongue out, and licked my face a few times. "Haha, stop it...stop it you toothless reptile!" I laughed._

 _"Toothless...Yeah...I like it. I'm gonna call you Toothless from now on. Well...I'm Hiccup. I feel bad just calling you dragon or Night Fury all the time..." I shrugged happily. I saw the dragon open its mouth and drop its teeth. "Wow...retractable teeth...that's amazing." I tell him smiling as I reach my hand out to rub his head, he growled a bit and I pulled back. He stood over me and coughed up half a fish in my lap, "Ew..." I stuck my tongue out at it. I watched Toothless sit back on his back legs and watch me curiously. I saw him eye the fish, then me again. "Y–you want me to eat it?" I asked, he nodded._

 _I lifted it to my mouth hesitantly, then took a bite and forced it down, as well the urge to hurl. I put the fish down and tried to reach for him. He backed up a little, I sighed softly. He didn't trust me that much yet, or maybe he did? I closed my eyes and turned my head from him, slowly putting out my hand. It took a moment but them I felt a dry, scaly nose press to my palm. I took a deep breath and turned my head to look. He had his snout to my palm and his eyes were closed. He trusted me, I had to trust him. This was a sign of mutual trust. I wouldn't hurt him and he wouldn't hurt me. It was this moment I understood that not everything was as it seemed. Dragons weren't bad or dangerous, just misunderstood. This was my proof, this dragon didn't kill me. It healed me, then let me help him. And now we trusted one another, as friends would. I finally had a friend and it felt great._

 **/End Flashback/**

[Normal POV]

Since that day and every day following for two weeks, Hiccup returned to that cove and brought Toothless fish. They'd sit in the grass, and talk. Well, Hiccup talked and Toothless listened closely. But when the two weeks were up and his wing was healed, Hiccup knew he was leaving but had waited for him. Hiccup hugged him, telling him he'd never forget him and hoped they'd meet again, also thanked him for being such a good friend to him. The dragon took off that night just as the sunset and Hiccup hadn't seen him since. But he thought about him almost everyday, but kept it to himself. If anyone ever knew he'd befriended a dragon, a Night Fury...they'd probably throw him from the island or kill him and Toothless.

Hiccup didn't want his friend to be hurt so he'd never speak of those two weeks in the cove with Toothless. But he did hope one day they would see each other again. A lot of things changed in two years, Hiccup's depression worsening with every day it seemed. "Hiccup! Will you finish that sword please!" Gobber called to him.

"Yeah, on it. It's done." Hiccup yelled back as he pulled the sword from the grinding wheel and tossed it to Gobber. Hiccup sighed starting his next project, his sleeve raised slightly and he saw his arm. Cuts everywhere, some across and some running up and down. Ever since that first accidental cut in the forge 2 years ago, Hiccup started cutting every day on purpose too. No one knew about it either, it was his secret. He'd work his day, go home to eat, then go to his room and cut. He kept a knife hidden in his work desk that lifted up by hinges.

He never cut when Toothless had been there but after he lost his friend, he felt alone again because he had no one to talk too anymore. No one to tell about his day, so he found another way to release the pain he felt from being the village screw up and it involved slitting his wrists every night, bleeding until he felt dizzy, then wrapping them. He'd eat a little bread, and drink some water before going to sleep. Hiccup was now 15 years old, and weighed about 90 pounds. He stood around 5 feet 5 inches. He was still incredibly skinny, but that was due to barely eating anything because he hated eating in the mead hall with the others.

Hiccup kept to himself, he didn't talk to anyone except Gobber but most of that was sarcastic remarks that made them both laugh. Gobber was Hiccup's only friend in the village, but even the last two years changed that slightly. In the last two years, Hiccup contemplated killing himself many times, he tried a few times but always backed out because he felt it would hurt Gobber if he died. So last minute he'd back out, he always had a way too. If he cut, he'd just wrap it. If he tried to hang himself, he pulled his dagger from his belt and cut the rope. If he tried to poison himself, he'd throw it back up to get it out of his system. He even tried to drown himself once but ended up coming up for air.

But none the less, he hated his life on Berk. No one cared about him, no one would care if he was gone except Gobber. And that man was the only reason he was still alive now so as long as he could, he'd keep trying to hold on. But as we all know...everyone has a breaking point and Hiccup had just about reached his, it was only a matter of time.


	2. Savior

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 2.

It was the worst day of his life so far. Everyone was taking a shot at him today, and he had no idea why. All he did was wake up and walk through the village to get to the forge as always. But today people seemed colder towards him, more hateful than usual. Even kids younger than him were taking shots at tripping him, stomping on him when he was already down. Hiccup forced himself up for possibly the 100th time in 20 minutes, and limped to the forge. He saw the other teens Snotlout, Tuffnut, Ruffnut, Fishlegs, and Astrid heading to the ring for dragon training class. Shocker he wasn't joining but then again he didn't want too.

Ever since he bonded with Toothless, he could never think of killing a dragon or hurting it. The last few raids, he actually stopped people from killing dragons by making some small move so the dragons could get away but no one saw that he was doing it. Hiccup knew if he ever got caught he'd be in huge trouble. Like unforgivable amounts of trouble so he had to be careful. Hiccup reached the forge and saw Gobber there, preparing to head out since he was teaching the dragon training class.

"Alright lad, there's a few things for you to do in there and then yer to come to the ring. Understand me?" Gobber asked him.

"Yes sir...Why do I have to go there...its not like I'm training or anything?" Hiccup asked him.

"Yer dads orders lad. He don't want yew in 'ere alone all day." Gobber shrugged.

"Got it. I'll be there when I'm done..." Hiccup sighed softly, Gobber then headed out of the forge. Hiccup entered and started on the work Gobber left him to do. Just a few daggers, bolas, and sharpening a double headed axe. He recognized it, it was Astrid's axe. Well her mothers at least since 2 years ago she refused to wield the one Hiccup made anymore, Hiccup took an hour to finish everything. He sharpened Astrid's axe then hooked it to his back and headed off to the kill ring.

(The Kill Ring)

As soon as he got there he saw them fighting a deadly nadder, Astrid was pretty weaponless. She had a shield but that was it, Hiccup walked over to Gobber who was on the outside of the ring. "There yew are. I knew it wouldn't take you long, what you got there laddie?" Gobber asked him.

"Saw it sitting by the wheel, thought I'd sharpen it and bring it to Astrid..." Hiccup shrugged.

"So nice of yew, I'll get her so you can give it to her." Gobber said, Hiccup's eyes widened but before he could protest, "Astrid lass! Hiccup brought your axe!" Gobber yelled. Hiccup paled as he felt himself face-palming as she turned and glared at him darkly.

"Haddock! You bring me my axe right now or I swear you are a dead man!" Astrid ordered him, Hiccup sighed heavily as he moved to the ring entrance and lifted the gate as she rushed over and the nadder was hot on her heels raising its tail to fire the spines. Hiccup's eyes widened with fear as he rushed at Astrid and pushed her down to the ring floor when the nadder shot its spines out, they narrowly missed taking Hiccup's head off. The nadder squawked heading for the exit, Hiccup took Astrid's axe off his back and chucked it at the lever to lower the gate. Great, now how was trapped in there with the others.

"What did you do that for!" Snotlout yelled as he went to help Astrid up.

"Excuse me if I don't feel like seeing a tribe member get sliced by nadder spines..." Hiccup remarked sarcastically.

"Less chitchat kids! That nadder is still after y'all!" Gobber called out. The nadder enclosed on Hiccup and ran towards him, Hiccup stiffened closing his eyes and standing completely still, trying to relax himself. He heard a few gasps and when he peeked open an eye he saw the nadder just standing before him, crouching calmly and relaxed. "What the..." Gobber asked.

Hiccup couldn't believe it, just like with Toothless. The dragon saw he wasn't afraid and trusted it so it stopped its attack, Hiccup took a breath of relief. "How in the name of Thor..." Ruffnut started.

"Just...nobody move...Absolutely no sudden moves..." Hiccup whispered.

"No arguments here." Fishlegs said quickly.

Hiccup looked at the nadder and offered a smile, "Alright...alright see...its okay there um...are you a girl or boy?..." Hiccup said calmly. The nadder squawked at him when he said girl, "Okay, good...so you're a girl...listen...I'm sure you have a good...reason to want to hurt these guys...I–I know they are chasing you around...but I promise, I won't hurt you. And...if you go back to the pen...I'll let you out later. I promise..." Hiccup whispered to the nadder. It gave a nod to him, bowing its head. Hiccup blinked a few times and then offered a small head bow back as the nadder slowly walked past the other teens, it screeched at them raising its tail. "He–hey! Do–Don't do that..." Hiccup called to it.

The nadder stopped and looked back at him, Hiccup pointed his finger towards the pen. "Don't attack them...I got them to stop so you have to as well..." Hiccup ordered. The nadder nodded again as it headed to the pen, "I promise I'll release you when these guys aren't around..." He whispered, the nadder laid down as he prepared to shut the door but then paused before walking away from it, leaving the doors opened. "Screw it..." He mumbled walking to the main gate and opening the lever, his eyes fell on the nadder sadly. "Go on now...You're free." Hiccup ordered her.

The nadder ran out happily squawking, it licked Hiccup's cheek then nuzzled him before taking to the sky and flying off.

"What just...happened?" Tuffnut blinked clearly confused.

"I–I think Hiccup...just told the nadder what to do, and it...listened to him." Fishlegs gasped.

"I–it should of attacked him! No dragon just does that...Right Gobber?" Snotlout asked looking over at the blacksmith who was looking at Hiccup standing beside him calmly.

"Hi–Hiccup...how did you do that?" Gobber asked him.

"Not every creature of Odin intends harm on others, the nadder was scared being trapped here...so I let her go. Would any of you liked to of been locked up and used as training?..." Hiccup stated blandly, his eyes still on the nadder pen, "I didn't think so...I didn't threaten her, that's why she didn't attack me. Not everything is always as it appears, and some of us see things differently than others." He added before he picked up Astrid's axe laying by the exit and walked it over to her, he put it in her hands calmly. "You're welcome for saving your life by the way." Hiccup remarked coldly as he opened the main gate and walked out leaving them all in shock.

(Hours Later)

Word about what Hiccup did spread like wildfire through out the village, Hiccup kept in the forge working hard to avoid it. Everyone was trying to ask how he did it, but he couldn't reveal that truth without revealing Toothless. So he just kept his mouth shut, he didn't even talk to Gobber. But when Stoick found out what happened, he didn't hear that Hiccup settled a nadder down, he heard that Hiccup let it go and was furious. "HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK THE THIRD!" His voice boomed loudly. Hiccup winced a little, oh this was going to suck. "FRONT AND CENTER. NOW!" His father shouted out.

Hiccup took a deep breath as he moved away from his work bench and went outside, he saw his father towering over him with his hands on his hips and the whole village had formed a circle to watch the scene play out. Hiccup suffered many a scoldings publically, so this was nothing new for him. "Y–yes dad?" Hiccup asked.

"Would you mind telling me about the ring earlier!?" Stoick yelled.

"U–uhm...I uh...let the nadder go...?" Hiccup replied shakily.

"And why in the name of Odin would you do that! You know they are used for trainin!" Stoick shot back.

"What training...You're training people how to kill a dragon when they don't need to be killed..." Hiccup mumbled.

"How can you say such a thing! Of course they need to be killed, they are menaces! They've stolen from us, and killed hundreds!" Stoick bellowed.

"And we've killed thousands of them! And we stole from them, they were here before us...we took their lands. I'd want revenge too..." Hiccup shrugged.

"They took your mother, Hiccup." Gobber added now.

"Took her. No proof if she's dead or not...maybe she realized they were bad after all and she's still alive somewhere where they don't kill dragons for stupid reasons." Hiccup retorted. A few people gasped.

"They carried her off in a raid, Hiccup and she was never seen again...I searched for months, years for her." Stoick told him.

"And why do you care so much I let a dragon go, legend around the village is mom used to stop people from killing them too. She believed peace was possible, maybe she found it and refused to come back here because she knows her husband is an idiot who doesn't listen to reason!" Hiccup yelled back. Stoick took a step back, Hiccup never dared talk back to anyone. Especially his father.

"Hiccup how can you say such a thing to your father! Honestly, you're supposed to be the future chief and this is how you treat people? If this is how you act, I don't want to be under your command in 3 years when you turn 18..." Spitelout said now.

"Because your son would make a better chief, going around picking on his own cousin for personal enjoyment. Right, Uncle Spitelout? Whatever...I don't care. I don't want to be chief... not to these people..." Hiccup growled.

"Lad, stop being a menace and apologize to yer old man." Gobber sighed. Hiccup froze, had...had Gobber really just said that? That he thought...he was a menace? "You'll never be chief with that attitude. Sidin with those beasts, what is wrong with yew..." Hiccup couldn't believe it, Gobber turned on him too. Before he could say anything he felt a hand whack him good, forcing him to the ground. When he looked up, he saw his father there glaring down at him.

Hiccup couldn't help the tears forming in his eyes. No...this was it. He was done. Gobber turning on him, and his father hitting him was the last straw. Hiccup closed his eyes and forced himself to his feet. "I quit." He said firmly.

"Beg yer pardon lad?" Gobber asked now.

"I. Quit. I'm done working in the forge and I am done working for you. Everyone hates my weapons anyway, 2 years ago they found out I forged them and they threw them away. Whatever...I'm done. I'm so done with everything involving this gods-forsaken island! I don't want to be chief. I don't want to be heir anymore. I don't want anything to do with this stupid tribe! If I'm such a menace..." He paused walking away, "Then maybe I should be killed like the dragons since I've apparently sided with them...Don't worry...You won't have to worry about me getting in your way anymore..." Hiccup said in a cold voice as he walked through the crowd of people, shoving people out of his way to walk to his father's house.

He was done. He couldn't talk it anymore, Gobber turning on him was what did it for him. He was done with the forge, done with the village, done with his father...Done with life. He'd held back the last two years for Gobber's sake but after that whole scene, it was clear Hiccup didn't matter to Gobber as much as he thought he did so what did he have left here. Nothing. Hiccup entered the house and slammed the door.

"Ha–has anyone seen Hiccup get that cold before?" Fishlegs asked curiously.

"No...he hasn't. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him get like that period..." Stoick said now.

"What did...he mean by he was done with...everything?" Astrid asked.

"I don't know...Maybe we just let him cool off?" Tuffnut suggested.

"I'll go talk to him in a bit when he's calmed down..." Gobber headed back in to the forge. The group slowly dispersed going back to work.

(Hiccup's House)

He was in his room sitting on the bed and crying in to his hands. He never usually did this during the day but he just couldn't take it anymore. Hiccup got the blade from his desk and ran it along his wrist drawing blood, then he did the same with the other. They weren't particularly deep cuts but then again, he wasn't done either. Nothing was holding him back anymore, his left the bloody knife on his bed while walking to his desk, he pulled out a piece of paper and got his charcoal pencil. Tear drops from his eyes fell on the paper, so did the blood from his wrists as he began to write.

He didn't write a lot, enough to get the point across that he was killing himself and he hoped everyone would be happier with him gone because he knew he would be and if his mom was dead, then at least he'd get to be with someone who cared about him. Hiccup felt things getting fuzzy for him, he took the letter and then the knife. Hiccup slammed the knife in to the wall over his bed, hanging the note there. 'No more pain...I won't hurt anymore...' Hiccup thought trying to force a smile. No one loved him. No one liked him. No one cared about him. They'd be better with him gone, Hiccup forced himself towards the stairs and walked down them. Blood dripping down his arms while he did.

Reaching the bottom he used his first made dagger to slice his wrists deeper, then along the length of his arm to the bend of his elbow. Hiccup couldn't feel anything anymore, he was numb and gods he was happy to finally feel nothing. He left the house and walked down a path leading to one of Berk's high points. It was lunch, everyone was in the hall or so he thought. Not that it mattered, everyone would probably egg him on to move faster to his death. His dagger slipped from his hands while walking.

(With Gobber)

The old blacksmith closed the shop for lunch as he moved towards Stoick's house to talk to Hiccup but he noticed the blood and it made him worry. He knocked, "...Lad can I talk to you?" Gobber asked calmly. No answer. "Hiccup...Its old Gobber...I want to say I'm sorry for what I said earlier..." Gobber said while entering the house now. He instantly knew something was off. "Hiccup!" Gobber called again. Gobber saw the blood on the floor and trailed it up the stairs quickly to Hiccup's room. He saw the blood puddle on the floor by Hiccup's bed, then the knife holding a note covered in blood and tears.

"Odin no..." Gobber whispered as his eyes skimmed the paper. Finally he tore the note down and rushed out to the hall, he tripped over something, and then picked it up. Worry filled him as he barged into the hall panting. "STOICK!" Gobber yelled, the chief was up instantly seeing Gobber looking terrified with the color drained from his face.

"Gobber, what in the name of Thor is the problem..." Stoick asked..

"Its...Hiccup...He's...he's gone...We have...to find him...Now." Gobber said.

"I'm sure he's fine, probably in the forest..." Stoick sighed.

"I thought that too...Until I saw blood outside your house...Stoick there are drops of blood leading from the front steps to Hiccup's room...and in his room...I found this..." Gobber said in a choked voice now handing him the letter. Stoick took the letter and began to read over it, _"To whoever finds this letter. It's my final goodbye to Berk and the Hairy Hooligan tribe. I'm the real Hiccup Haddock and I don't know why everyone hates me so much. I've never done anything wrong. But then again...maybe I do know because now I hate me too. I have no one in this village who is on my side, no one who cares, and no one who wants me around. So I'm sorry for being such a screw up. And to everyone else, sorry I'm such a menace. I let the nadder go because she didn't deserve to die for being scared and feeling threatened. Anyone who had been captured and forced to fight would fight back, the only way to avoid conflict is to avoid completely...I won't apologize for freeing an innocent creature. Stoick, I'm sorry I couldn't be the Viking son, or heir you wanted me to be. I'll tell mom you said hi...I've tried for years to deal with it but I just can't anymore. I can't take the every day beatings, the teasing, the hurtful words that cut deeper than my blade that I can never forget. I can't take having a father who doesn't care about me at all, that I'm just invisible to him and everyone else unless I do something wrong. And right now...I don't feel the need for trying, or talking, or breathing. No one has to worry about the little embarrassment, disappointing, useless, stupid, runt getting in their way anymore. You won't have a Hiccup among you anymore. So that's it I guess. Bye."_

By the time he finished reading the letter, his eyes widened with absolute fear. He saw the blood and tear stains on the paper, he couldn't even formulate a sentence right now. "And then I found this in the road..." Gobber said shakily handing the blood covered dagger to Stoick, where they could see the fresh blood on the blade. "Stoick! He's trying to kill himself and if we don't find him right now...He'll..." Gobber trailed off with worry.

"I want everyone single person up and looking for my son right now! I want every inch of Berk searched!" Stoick demanded, no one needed other commands. "Odin's ghost I was a fool...How did I...miss the signs!" Stoick rushed outside.

"Stoick we couldn't of known...That blood is fresh, there was a puddle of it by his bed, on his desk and drops leading out...we'll find him..." Gobber told Stoick.

"Where do we start chief?" Astrid asked.

"Gu–guys...I don't think we need to look for him..." Fishlegs started slowly.

"Fishlegs, my boy is trying to kill himself, if we don't find him he'll die!" Stoick growled angrily.

"N–no I mean I found him...He's up there on the cliff..." Fishlegs pointed to Hiccup standing on the cliff. Without another word they rushed towards the cliff but didn't approach fast.

"HICCUP!" Stoick yelled. "Stop son."

"Hiccup don't do it! Please, get away from the edge!" Astrid pleaded. Hiccup slowly turned his head towards them, and they saw the color drained from his face, blood staining the sleeves of his green tunic and still dripping on to the ground.

"No more...No more pain..." Hiccup said weakly, he looked as if he'd pass out.

"Yes that's right...No more pain...Just...walk back this way lad...You need your arms wrapped...Please...Listen to old Gobber now...Come back this way." Gobber said gently.

"N–No...No more...Can't...do it anymore...Everyone will be...better with me gone. No one...cares about me..." Hiccup stepped closer to the edge.

"Hiccup no. That's not true...we all care about you...please...please?" Astrid tried now stepping closer towards him slowly.

"Go away! Just go away all of you and leave me the fuck alone!" Hiccup snapped angrily. "Can't you even let me die in peace! You wouldn't let me live in peace, I think I deserve this much!" Hiccup cried. It was now they all realized how right he was, they gave him hell for years. They pushed him to do this, to want to die because he thought they'd be happier with him gone.

"Hiccup...Please...I'm begging you...Come away from the edge..." Stoick pleaded.

"I–I want to be...with mom...I don't want this...life anymore...Nothing...to live for..." Hiccup closed his eyes turning his head back to the cliff. If he didn't die from bleeding out, the freezing waters below would. That on top of the fierce waves crashing him in to the side of the jagged rocks. It didn't matter how it happened, one of these ways would kill him for sure.

"Hiccup no...Your mother would want this for you...Please son...Please come back and we can talk about this..." Stoick tried again.

"How the hell do you know what she wants! She wanted peace and you didn't listen to her, but you still loved her all the same. Why don't I matter to you! Why am I invisible to you! Why can't you love me like a father is supposed to love their child! But I just don't care anymore! I don't want to talk, I'm done...talking...No more...Hiccup the Useless...No more pain..." Hiccup whimpered as he stepped on the very edge.

"NO!" They yelled as Hiccup turned his body to face them as he closed his eyes and let himself fall backwards off the cliff. They rushed towards the edge to look down, tears in all their eyes. The sound of a whistle whipping through the wind caught their attention, then a roar. Before their eyes they saw a black blur shoot out of the forest by Raven Point. "Night Fury..." Gobber whispered in shock. The dragon zipped under Hiccup and caught him with its front paw and shot back towards the cliff. The night fury laid Hiccup's body down on the grass, then it looked at the group angrily before darting off again and out of sight.

"Th–that Night Fury...just saved his life..." Fishlegs gasped out, everyone was in shock.

"No time to worry about it...Hiccup is unconscious and bleeding out...if we don't get him help right now, he's dead." Astrid said trying to keep it together. Stoick gathered Hiccup's unconscious form in his arms and rushed to Gothi's house, when she got him she pushed everyone out to work on the young heir. No one could believe it, Hiccup had slashed his wrists and tried to jump off the cliff. Everyone anxiously waited outside Gothi's. Everyone was upset, at themselves. They did this, they pushed an innocent 15 year old boy to try and commit suicide. He'd be dead if the Night Fury hadn't grabbed him and brought him back up to the cliff to them. A night fury of all dragons, had saved Hiccup from certain death of its own free will. The whole tribe felt terrible for what they'd done, they all had a role in it, and if Hiccup died. It was on their hands.


	3. Leave Me Alone

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 3.

It felt like forever before Gothi emerged from the hut 6 hours later holding her staff. Stoick, Astrid, Snotlout, Spitelout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Gobber had stayed there to wait for news while Stoick sent everyone else home and he'd let them know how Hiccup was when he knew something. Seeing Gothi's worried expression on her face, Stoick feared the worst. "Elder Gothi...Is my son...alright?" Stoick asked cautiously. The elder began writing in the sand, her way of communicating with them, "What is she sayin Gobber?" Stoick asked now

"Says 'This boy has been harming himself for a long time, today was not the first. Also for us to come inside because she wants us to see something...'." Gobber translated.

"What does...she mean this isn't the first time...how long has he been...cutting himself." Astrid whimpered a little. All of them were in shock to hear this, that Hiccup had been cutting a while and hid it like he was fine. They couldn't believe how much they hurt him, how bad it really was. They slowly made their way in to the old woman's hut and saw Hiccup's pale form laying on the bed, he wasn't wearing a shirt anymore but the scars on his body were clear to see.

"Oh son...How could I let this happen..." Stoick kneeled before Hiccup's bedside.

"Stoick...None of us knew how much the boy was hurtin...He never...told anyone." Gobber choked up, the old blacksmith had never been caught crying but now he was.

"Gothi...Please...tell us what you meant by this wasn't the first time..." Fishlegs asked gently. Gothi began to write out the ruins in the sand by her foot. After a few minutes she finished and Gobber looked over it slowly to make sure he understood everything.

"She says that Hiccup has been cutting for 2 years, starting from the day of his 13th birthday. Also he has tried to kill himself before, she can see the evidence on his arms by the pattern of cuts. She said she looked in to his mind she saw what he tried to do, she wants us to see how broken he's been." Gobber said calmly. Gothi now moved to Hiccup's neck and showed them a very faded ring, it was scars from a rope.

"Oh Gods...He's tried to hang himself..." Astrid covered her mouth in shock. Gothi nodded, then showed past the blanket the clear signs of Hiccup's ribs against the skin.

"And he hasn't been eating..." Snotlout pointed out. Gothi began to write again and Gobber looked over to read it.

"She adds that Hiccup has also tried to drown, and poison himself before but now she wants us to see the extent of his cutting..." Gobber looked at them sadly. Gothi now removed the blanket to reveal Hiccup in his underwear though they looked like a pair of shorts. But beyond that they could see a lot more they wished they hadn't. Cuts on his arms both across and running up and down, cuts on his thighs, even a few very old scars on his neck, and ankles. Gobber saw one cut on his arm and ran his hands over it. "I remember this cut...It was an accidental one in the forge. He came back from deliveries, angry as I'd ever seen him..." Gobber sighed.

"What's so special about it though...why do you only remember that one?" Ruffnut asked curiously.

"Because unlike any other time he accidentally cut himself...this one he didn't treat right away. He just stared at it for about two minutes before I snapped him out of his daze, I told him to take a walk and made sure he knew to come to Gothi to have it treated..." Gobber explained.

Gothi began to write again, they looked over. "She says that it was the first cut which made him start cutting every night. From what she saw in his mind, he liked the way it felt, a way to release the pain he felt." Gobber closed his eyes.

"Wait wait...That day...Oh gods...Its our fault...That was the day we found out Hiccup made our weapons and he shattered my axe after we all threw the weapons away..." Astrid gasped in fear, tears still in her eyes.

"And Gothi says...Hiccup never came to see her that day. Never saw her at all." Gobber added. "Wait that doesn't make sense...This wound was huge...But he came in the next day without an ounce of pain..." Gobber mentioned.

"Well it had to heal somehow...Maybe Hiccup knows how to make Gothi's healing paste..." Fishlegs stated.

"Elder Gothi...Will he...be alright?" Stoick finally asked, Gothi started to write slowly.

"Gothi says she doesn't know right now. He lost a lot of blood with the cuts, the walk from Stoick's to the cliff is a 10 minute walk and he was bleeding the whole time, and while he wrote the letter. If she had to guess all that time adds up to he bled straight for 25 minutes, his body was already cool to the touch when he was brought in to her. She'll watch him through the night and let us know tomorrow." Gobber closed his eyes.

"We're horrible people...We did this. We drove him to do this to himself...And we never knew until it was almost too late." Astrid cried.

"Yes. Yes we did do this, and we're the only ones who can undo it. I've been a terrible father to my only son..." Stoick held Hiccup's hand, the warmth was just barely starting to return.

"And us as a tribe...we failed him. We haven't been a tribe to Hiccup, we treated him like an outcast...he's my cousin and I should of been protecting him..." Snotlout looked down.

"And what's worse...none us ever had a reason too. Hiccup was always helpful or tried to be, he never did anything to deserve what we gave him...What are we gonna do when he wakes up...?" Gobber asked them.

"We have to apologize..." Tuffnut started.

"No...we have to beg his forgiveness...He saved my life against that nadder...and I never thanked him." Astrid frowned.

"We have to be there for him, and watch him closely...my guess is that he tried to kill himself and when he wakes up and finds that he's not dead...he'll keep trying." Fishlegs added in.

"Right you are, Fishlegs...We have to make him feel welcome, show him we do care and he's part of the tribe. Its not going to be easy...we made him suffer needlessly since he was 8 and he's 15 now...that's 7 years of pain and he started cutting two years ago...no one knew about it." Gobber said firmly.

"We should go through his room, make sure there's nothing in there he could hurt himself with again...we can't all watch him at all hours...we'll have to take shifts. And maybe we can figure out what happened..." Stoick offered.

"Gothi said she's gonna keep him here tonight, so lets go do it now. Gothi...let us know if there's a change..." Gobber stated, the elder nodded. The group of them left and headed to Stoick's house, they could see the now dried blood on the steps and they'd found his dagger laying in the road. Now inside Hiccup's room they were searching through everything for any clues about Hiccup's depression and how bad it'd gotten. 20 minutes in and nothing, Hiccup was brilliant at hiding things. Astrid sat at Hiccup's desk when she felt the top shift a little.

"Huh..." She said surprised, she lifted it up and saw inside ropes, knives, old suicide notes, and Hiccup's notebook. "Hey uhh...I think I found everything we're looking for..." Astrid informed them, the group came over and saw everything.

The knives were old, and dull but some new with dried blood on them. The ropes were pre-tied nooses, some were already cut where they'd been tied to beams. The scrambled papers were all of drawing, his attempted suicides. Notes that said what he was doing, then the notebook which had journal entries and reasons why he never went through with any of the other attempts. Most of them all said because not everyone had turned on him yet, that someone still cared and that is why kept him here.

"These date back as far as two years ago..." Stoick sighed.

"Astrid...were you...ever aware the lad had a crush on you?" Gobber asked reading through one of the entries. Astrid's eyes widened a little as while she shook her head and Gobber handed the journal to her while she started to read it. _'Another day of beatings, I counted 20 today but maybe so many hits to the head makes that number wrong. I saw Astrid Hofferson today, I made her an axe in the forge because today is the day she turns 10...I don't have the courage to give it to her so I just snuck it in the pile that Gobber was taking to her dad to pick through. I'm glad he picked it as the one to give to her...I wish I could tell her I liked her because she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen but I doubt I'll ever have a chance in Valhalla with her. Oh well, I'll save it for the dreams I guess...'_ Astrid read to herself.

Astrid couldn't believe what she'd read, he had a crush on her. He made that axe that she tried to get rid of two years ago, the one he shattered. He made that for her birthday, and her father picked it out of the pile for her. She felt terrible now, she treated him awful but his crush for her stayed and he'd always been afraid to tell her. Maybe she could use that to get close to him but that would be wrong because if he ever found out she was playing with him to get close he would without doubt kill himself.

"Anything in there on why he never went through with the other attempts?" Stoick asked.

"Not that I see sir..." Astrid replied as she kept flipping through the notebook, still in awe that Hiccup had a crush on her. It made her wonder when it started. She didn't see any other times where he mentioned her unless he was talking about them picking on him. "But I figured out his cut pattern... He would cut himself for every name or beating he got. And he'd let it bleed until he felt dizzy...then he'd wrap them and keep it tucked under his sleeves so no one would see..." Astrid told them.

"But he had cuts on his neck, arms, wrists, and ankles...say anything about those?" Gobber asked.

"Yep...whole chart actually. Neck was public scoldings, across the wrists were for punches and slaps, the ankles for kicks and trippings. And the ones along his arms are for beatings...and he did it every night until he felt dizzy or sick. Then he'd wrap them, eat bread and drink some water..." Astrid informed them all and they looked down sadly.

"We have to make this right...we have too or we're going to lose him...he's going to keep trying until we break through him...he's going to wake up and hate us for keeping him alive and on constant watch..." Fishlegs frowned.

Astrid turned a page to the last one and started reading again. Her eyes widened with each word, as the others noticed now her feared expression. "Astrid...what is it?" Snotlout asked.

"His last entry from today..." Astrid handed the book to Gobber, "He saw his final straw was Stoick hitting him...and you turning on him..." Astrid cried lightly.

"Turned on...But I neva..." Gobber glanced at the book and started reading, his eyes widening. "Oh Odin help me...I did turn on the lad..." Gobber said sitting down slowly.

"What does it say?..." Stoick asked moving beside his friend.

"I can't do it anymore. I just can't. Officially, everyone hates me in this village. Useless Hiccup, Embarrassment Hiccup, Disappointing Hiccup who will never amount to anything other than a menace. I only held on because Gobber the blacksmith was there for me, could always make me laugh. But today...today he turned on me too by calling me a menace, that I'll never be chief with how I'm acting. I didn't side with dragons...I just understood them. They are different...like me. Treated differently because we don't look the same. When I see a dragon, I just see myself. Afraid and alone, trapped in a place I don't belong, hurt because I'm different. If I'm such a menace...then I should die. That's what my father says, the dragons are menaces and deserve to die...so I guess since I'm a menace, a traitor...I should die too right? Well fine then. I'll kill myself so they don't have too. No one cares about me, they haven't since my mom was taken...I wish I was taken with her...if she's alive maybe she's happier and I would be too...but if she's dead then that's fine too...either way I'd be away from this stupid island. I don't want to be chief here, of a tribe that turns on their own because he's different. I might not be tall, strong, or whatever but...I can still do stuff...I made their weapons and they tossed them away like they were cursed...I even had to shatter the axe I made for Astrid because she didn't want it when she found out I made it... I can't take anymore beatings, my body can't heal because it happens every day. The words they say eat me alive, and in all this...I never cried but today I let out 7 years of pain, and I let go of everything I ever felt, even my feelings for Astrid. No one will even recognize I'm gone, they'll probably celebrate my death...I started cutting on my 13th birthday, and have every day since...every night. I never went through killing myself because one person still cared...but not anymore. He turned...like the rest. So now I'll make my final cut and then throw myself off the cliff because if bleeding out doesn't kill me the cold waters, thrashing waves, and jagged rocks will...Its time to go, no one will miss me...I don't mean anything to anyone. Not even my father...Its time to end this life, I guess I won't be seeing you again...I'm sorry that I'll never get to see you. I wish I'd get just one more chance to see you...you were the only friend I ever had, the best friend I've ever had...Thank you for being there for me when no one else was, even if it was only for two weeks. Goodbye." Gobber looked up sadly, tears in his eyes.

There were tears in all their eyes. Hiccup really did get pushed to the edge enough to want to end his own life. "What...friend was he talking about?" Astrid asked.

"We don't know...can't be in the village. Because he said we all hated him..." Ruffnut mentioned.

"What about the Night Fury?..." Fishlegs asked making them all look at him, "Yeah you're right...stupid idea..." Fishlegs said quickly.

"It was a good suggestion but come on...a Night Fury...But I guess...I mean it did save his life..." Snotlout shrugged.

"I'd believe it more if the dragon had stayed after saving him...it grabbed him and brought him back up to us..." Stoick sighed. Someone suddenly burst in panting.

"Chief. Dragon raid..." Said the man.

"This couldn't happen at a worse time...Lets go people!" Stoick ordered.

"And...Hiccup is awake...Trying to get out of the bed." Spitelout now added calmly.

"How the...How can he be awake so soon..." Snotlout asked curiously.

"No idea boyo...But he is and trying to get away." Spitelout said. Without another word they were all outside headed to Gothi's trying to evade the raid the best they could. Stoick was in first seeing Hiccup struggle against the restraints Gothi put on his arms.

"Hiccup son please...stop struggling...You'll open your wounds again." Stoick asked calmly. Hiccup stopped struggling and glared over now.

"Leave me alone!" Hiccup yelled.

"Please...Please just calm down..." Astrid asked softly. Hiccup lifted his arms again to pull at the restraints, they were rope so they were cutting at his wrists again. "Hiccup stop! You're cutting your wrists doing that! Please stop!" Astrid pleaded reaching for him. Hiccup gave another tug as he broke them ropes and stood up angrily, but there were tears in his eyes.

"Son please...Just lay back down...You lost a lot of blood a few hours ago..." Stoick told him.

"Yes I know, that's generally how one would kill himself...Now get out of my way!" Hiccup growled out.

"No son, we can't...You'll hurt yourself again..." Stoick said calmly to him.

"Don't you have a raid to worry about...Don't worry about me...I'll be great like always..." Hiccup remarked sarcastically.

"You mean more to me than a raid, Hiccup...you're my son..." Stoick pleaded now. Hiccup saw something on the table then grabbed for it. It was a dagger and he put it to his throat, they bit back. "S–son...Please...Put the dagger down...You don't want to do this..." Stoick said.

"Don't I?...Don't I want to kill myself, to die and be free of this hell...Yes, Yes I do..." Hiccup moved towards the door. "You try and stop me from leaving...and I'll run this blade across my neck in a heartbeat..." Hiccup warned, they stayed out of his way. He wobbled, being weak from the blood loss but he made it and walked out.

"Stoick...what do we do..." Astrid cried.

"We can't...do anything...We pushed him too far and now...We have to wait it out. He didn't cut right away, he's threatening too if we don't leave him alone but for now he's not." Stoick looked down.

"Stoick's right...But also we can't leave him...he might just be waiting until he's alone again...And we have this raid." Gobber stated. They were silent a few minutes when they heard someone yell, "Hiccup don't do this! They'll kill you!" The group rushed outside to see Hiccup standing on top of someone's house, he was looking up at the sky panting heavily. A nadder was heading right for him, it was a blue and yellow one.

"Hiccup get out of there!" Fishlegs yelled to him. Hiccup ignored it, he put his hand out and the nadder stopped now hovering in air. It still had its tail ready to fire at him, Hiccup looked at the dagger in his left hand then he tossed it over the edge of the house and the nadder's spines lowered.

"Sssh its okay...I'm not going to hurt you. But I need you to take your friends and leave here...alright? Please...raid the outcasts or berserkers...but please not here...I'm trying to help you...I don't want to see you get killed, you or your friends. Please flee from here..." Hiccup said gently. The nadder squawked and pressed its nose to Hiccup's palm a moment leaving everyone in shock. Hiccup offered a small smile as the nadder looked at his hurt wrists and then purred sadly. "Its okay...I'm alright...I promise...Go on now." Hiccup told the dragon.

The nadder let out a squawk nuzzling against his cheek purring and then licking his cheek. The force made him slip and he fall off the house. "Hiccup!" Stoick yelled with worry. The nadder swooped down and caught him by the back of his tunic then carefully set him down on the ground.

"Thanks girl...We're even now. I saved you and you saved me." Hiccup said to the nadder, it licked him again before she hovered higher, and let out a loud screech as the dragons began to ascend higher before flying off and out of sight. Everyone's mouths dropped open. "In case you're wondering...That was the nadder I let go earlier...The blue and yellow one." Hiccup spat out coldly.

"What did...you just do lad...You just fended off...50 dragons...in 10 seconds..." Gobber asked.

"I told you...Its all about understanding things that are misunderstood in the eyes of others. You don't understand them, but I do. I told them if they attacked, they'd get hurt. And I didn't want to see that, they understand I'm as different as they are. We're all outcasts, to you lot at least. Sometimes all it takes seeing things differently, seeing it the way someone who is different sees it can go a long way..." Hiccup said emotionlessly as he walked past them.

"Hiccup please...Don't walk away from us...We want to help you, we know about your cutting of the last two years, and your other attempts, and the not eating. We know you've suffered...Please talk to us..." Astrid pleaded taking a step towards him.

"Believe you me...You know nothing of what I've suffered. Just because I tried to kill myself you saw my body riddled with scars and cuts doesn't mean you know a damn thing about me..." Hiccup said angrily.

"We just...want to talk son...Tell us so we can make it better..." Stoick tried now. Hiccup whipped around now glaring, it made Stoick step back. Hiccup wasn't just mad, he was upset and that was evident with the tears in his sons eyes.

"NO!" He yelled out loudly. "Don't you understand Norse!? NO! I'm not telling you shit! Because none of you give a damn! And I refuse to tell you because if you haven't seen it for yourselves already it further proves that I mean NOTHING to this tribe. YOU CAN NEVER FIX WHAT YOU DID TO ME!...Just go away! I did my good deed for the day...I stopped your raid...because I chose to be different! The same different you all hated and called useless...Now for the love of Odin, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Hiccup screamed out enraged as he darted off in to the darkness of the forest, the group quickly losing sight of him.

"We have to go after him..." Gobber started.

"No...If we chase him, it'll get worse." Stoick said.

"He'll kill himself out there...And we won't know where he is." Astrid protested quickly.

"He won't. He's just upset, very upset. I've never heard him swear a day in his life...He just needs to cool off, let him sit with his thoughts a while...That's all we can do, if we want any chance of getting close to him we'll have play by his rules. So everyone just stay away from him...I'll give him a full day, if he's not back by lunch tomorrow...we'll go searching for him." Stoick orders.

"Understood chief." The village agreed. As everyone was clearing out, Astrid's eyes stayed on the forest and tears falling from her blue eyes.

"Please be safe, Hiccup...And know how sorry we are for everything we did to you. You didn't deserve it..." Astrid whispered as she turned and walked back to her home.

(With Hiccup)

Hiccup went to the only place he could to be alone, a place that they didn't know about. The cove. Hiccup just collapsed to his knees and cried hard. He slammed his fists in to the ground hard as tears streamed down his eyes, "Why...why couldn't I of just died earlier...Who saved me...and why..." Hiccup whimpered as he curled himself in to a ball almost and laid there upset, and crying until sleep finally took over him but little did he know there was a pair of large green eyes watching him from the darkness.


	4. Reunited

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 4.

Astrid had the worst night of sleep she'd ever had in possibly her entire existence. In fact they all had, not a soul in the village slept easy knowing Hiccup had tried to kill himself the day before and was now off in the forest by himself. The chief had given strict instructions however not to go after him, because it would make it worse. They had to play by Hiccup's rules, and those rules right now were to leave him alone. Stoick though afraid his son would try and commit suicide again, had to hold firm that he wouldn't. He had to believe that, it was the only thing keeping him sane right now.

More on Hiccup, everyone wanted to know how he fended an entire raid off simply by talking to a nadder and telling it that if it attacked them it would die. That was it, the dragon left with the others and Hiccup told them it was all about understanding they were different and not all creatures were bad just because they looked dangerous. No one could wrap their heads around it, was Hiccup capable of doing this the whole time? All anyone currently hoped for is that Hiccup would come around to giving them another chance.

All in the great hall, Stoick sat with Spitelout, Gobber and the teens. Everyone was silent with sadness, "How did we screw up this bad...Gods he must hate us..." Astrid sighed pushing her food around with her fork.

"How did we even start this...he said it started when he was 8...so what happened? Did we just...turn on him, there had to be a reason..." Snotlout asked them.

"The reason was us being jerks...He's Hiccup...so we treated him like one, because he was different than us." Tuffnut added.

"It doesn't matter how it happened kids...what matters is we get him back, and show him we can be a tribe and that he's very much loved, accepted, and cared for among us." Stoick told them firmly now. Someone walked up beside him now and tapped his shoulder, Stoick looked back to see one of his guards. "Yes?" The man whispered something in his ear as Stoick's eyes widened then he rushed to his feet and hurried outside past the doors to see that what his guard said was true.

"What did you tell him?" Spitelout asked curiously.

"Hiccup's outside on the cliff again. He's not bleeding, just standing there staring at the sky. I just saw him come out of the forest 5 minutes ago." The guards said, the others now scrambled to their feet and made it outside and sure enough Hiccup was back on the cliff from yesterday. Stoick put an arm out so they wouldn't talk or rush to him.

"Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong...And no one understands you?" Hiccup started singing softly catching their attention, they all looked towards him now. "Do you ever want to run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With your face buried deep in the pillow so no one hears you screaming..." Hiccup continued while they watched.

"No you don't know what its like. When nothing feels alright. You don't know what its like to be like me...To be hurt, to feel lost. To be left out in the dark. To be kicked, when you're down. To feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down...And no one there to save you. No you don't know what its like...Welcome to my life!" At this Hiccup tightened his hands to fists as they noticed a little blood drip down and became worried but still didn't move.

"Do you want to be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more...Before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With the big fake smiles and stupid lies...But deep inside you're bleeding!" The small group bit back a little, yeah he was still mad.

"No you don't know what its like...When nothing feels alright. You don't know what its like to be like me...To be hurt. To feel lost. To be left out in the dark. To be kicked, when you're down. To feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down...And no one there to save you. No you don't know what its like...Welcome to my life!" Hiccup sang loudly, the anger clear in his tone as he stared over the cliff.

"No one ever lied straight to your face. And no one ever stabbed you in the back. You might think I'm happy...But I'm not gonna be okay! Everybody always gave you what you wanted. You never had to work it was always there. You don't know what its like...What its like..." He trailed off slowly looking down as his hand unclenched and they saw the blood on his palm.

"To be hurt. To feel lost. To be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down. To feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down, and no one there to save you...No you don't know what its like...What its like!...To be hurt. To feel lost. To be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down. To feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down...And no one's there to save you! No you don't know what its like...Welcome to my life. Welcome to my life. Welcome to my life..." Hiccup closed his eyes sighing softly and lowering his head.

"Should we...say something?" Snotlout asked quietly.

"No need. I know you're there." Hiccup retorted in a void tone.

They group froze, a little scared. "H–how did you know?" Astrid pressed.

"Simple. I was invisible here, I could be standing right in front of someone and they wouldn't notice me. I watched a lot of things in this village, including the guard schedule and when they switch off from overnight to morning and the fact they pass by the forest entrance. It really wasn't difficult to know if someone saw me they'd tell you right away." Hiccup continued look forward.

"Hiccup please...Just talk to us, we want to understand what you're going through..." Stoick tried now.

Hiccup finally turned and faced them, he had no emotion on his face or in his eyes. He looked like death and it worried them deeply. "Understand what I'm going through? It really shouldn't be that hard to do, just think back 7 years to how each and every one of you treated me then imagine if it happened to you. I think you'll get a pretty decent idea of what I'm feeling right now." Hiccup started down the hill past them. "I'll give you a hint to get you started. Its called betrayal." Hiccup scoffed making his way towards Stoick's house.

After 10 minutes he came out with a bag over his shoulder and headed past them again to get to the forest entrance. "Wait, where are you going son..." Stoick asked.

"What the hell do you care..." Hiccup narrowed his eyes.

"Because I'm your father and I care about you..." Stoick replied.

"That's a first." Hiccup sarcastically chuckled as he kept walking.

"What, are you going to live in the forest now?..." Tuffnut asked curiously.

"Again, why the hell do you care what I do with my life. It never mattered before, so why now hm?" Hiccup stopped now and dropped the bag at his feet facing them. "Yesterday, I didn't mean a damn thing to anyone. Why now? Because I finally snapped, because I got sick and tired of being everyone's fucking punching bag. Because I slit my wrists and jumped off the cliff? Does everyone suddenly feel sorry for me?" Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest.

"W–we realize how wrong we were to treat you the way we did...We want to make it up to you, by doing what we didn't before..." Astrid stammered out slowly.

"Psh! Hah, that's a good one. Thanks, Astrid...I needed that laugh." Hiccup chuckled darkly, it was a little scary to everyone how Hiccup was acting. It wasn't like him to be cold and emotionless like this, no matter what he went through he always had a smile on his face. But seeing him like this was outright terrifying.

"Hiccup...This isn't like you...We know we hurt yo–..." Stoick began but quickly silenced himself when a dagger landed in the pole right by his face, only a few inches away. It narrowly missed piercing him in the cheek, everyone looked to see where it came from and following the reverse path they saw Hiccup's arm out and his head down.

"Hurt me? What you did to me doesn't even brace the surface of 'hurt', Stoick." Hiccup said coldly.

"Did you just call me..." Stoick asked.

"Yeah, your name." Hiccup retorted.

"I'm your father, show some respect." Stoick told him firmly.

"Sure. I'd absolutely show respect to my father...if you were him." Hiccup growled, making a few people gasp at his words. "I don't have a mother. I don't have a father. I don't have an uncle or cousin. I don't have friends, and I certainly don't have a tribe. So I'll show you people nothing but discontent, and hate. I'll show you what it means to hate someone with a reason, but I'm not like you. I'm not going to go around hurting people day in and day out. I'm different, as I've stated before. So instead of living in this village that drove me to cut and try to kill myself...I'm just going to leave." Hiccup lifted his bag with one hand and hulked it over his shoulder.

"Bu–but how will you survive out there...you've never known anything by the forge lad..." Gobber interjected now.

"Whether I survive or not is no longer a concern of yours. If I live, cool. If not...well then I'm not losing all that much am I. Can't lose something you never had." Hiccup snorted turning to leave again. "You can all just go back to how it was, where Hiccup doesn't exist because from this moment on, he doesn't to you." Hiccup said coldly.

"Hiccup, I demand you stay. You're not 18, you can't just leave on your own." Stoick ordered. Hiccup pulled a small dagger from his sleeve now making Stoick freeze.

"Keep telling me what I can and can't do..." Hiccup growled angrily pressing it to his wrist, "All it takes is cutting a vein and you won't be able to save me no matter what you do."

"Please...stay...?" Astrid asked him gently.

"No...I cannot physically or mentally bring myself to stay here right now and if you continue to stop me from leaving so I can clear my head for a while, then I'm taking the only other way out of the pain. Those are your two options right now...Let me leave to heal on my own, or I stay and end it for good." Hiccup stated firmly.

"Give us another chance! We can be the tribe that you'll want to be apart of..." Snotlout tried now, it was worth a shot.

"This is me giving you another chance." Hiccup mumbled.

"Come again?" Gobber asked.

He took the dagger off his wrist and slipped it in to his boot as he sighed heavily. "I am attempting to be less hostile with the group of you people who call yourselves a tribe. Trust me when I say I still rather be dead than be within 10 feet of any of you, however...I don't know who or what saved me yesterday but I know when to take a sign and think about things. I'm not someone who holds life long grudges, I prefer to forgive but at the moment, all of you are on my hate list...but, give me my time to cool off and live my life my way and I might...MIGHT just decide to start forgiving you." Hiccup stated.

"S–so you might forgive us...eventually?" Fishlegs asked now with shocked eyes.

"I said MIGHT. Its too early to decide if I even can after the last 7 years..." Hiccup told them.

"Can't you stay here and get your cool off time?" Tuffnut asked.

"No. You want my forgiveness?" Hiccup asked. They nodded, "Then back off...I've suffered 7 years of physical and emotional abuse from people who are supposed to be my family and friends. Waking up every day just trying to get to the forge and being tripped, smacked, teased, beat up, called names...all of it. Every day for 7 years, I never caught a break. Alright? That isn't something I can just put behind me and let go of so suddenly. I want to be away from the people who hurt me, not near them. I need time to clear my head and think about everything..." Hiccup muttered.

"Yo–you're saying...if we give you time to think on your own, away from the village...you might forgive us?...How will we know if you're okay?" Astrid questioned.

"I propose a deal...Care to listen...for once?" Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"We're listening...Anything to have you forgive us...and give us another chance." Stoick said nodding, the others did as well.

"First off...what is the big deal if I leave for a while? That I need to know." Hiccup asked crossing his arms over his chest again.

"Because...we're worried if you'll be okay or not with...well how your mood has been so...delicate for the last 24 hours...if...Odin forbid it but..." Astrid started slowly.

"You're worried my depression is going to get the better of me and I'm going to kill myself with no one around and you'll never know where or how to find me to stop me?" Hiccup finished. They nodded, he mumbled something about it being a shocker people were worried about him for once. "As long as you don't piss me off you won't have to worry. Yes, in this village makes me want to kill myself...The desire is still there." Hiccup paused seeing their worried faces, "However in the woods where I'm distanced...the urge is not so great that I can't control it. Give me my space, and when I come to a decision if I can even forgive you...I'll let you know." Hiccup stated.

"So how will we know you're okay out there..." Snotlout questioned.

"I'm getting to that...Here's my deal. You let me go off on my own. You don't follow me, you don't watch from afar, and you give me my space...and in return I'll come back twice a week so you can see I'm still alright. Once I get settled...I'll tell you where I'm going to be but you stay away from it. That a fair compromise?" Hiccup asked.

"You want us to let you go off on your own in the woods by yourself, and twice a week you'll come back in to the village so we can see you're alright?" Gobber arched a brow.

"That's my deal. You take it and I'll stay on the island so you can still see me twice a week to know I'm alright. You don't take it and I'm leaving Berk all together, I won't consider forgiving you, and I'll never come back." Hiccup shrugged. "Your call really, either is fine with me." Hiccup added calmly.

"And when you come twice a week...what are you going to do?...Just appear at the edge of the forest so we can see you or...will you actually come in the village?..." Stoick pressed.

"Haven't decided yet. Do we have a deal or not?" Hiccup said becoming more irritated by the minute.

"Deal..." They agreed.

"Good...Oh and before I forget..." Hiccup paused as he dug through his long tan bag and pulled something out, he walked towards Astrid and handed it to her then stepped back. It was wrapped in paper and rather heavy, she pulled it back and saw a double sided axe, just like the one she had two years ago. Its metal head was perfect shape and weight for her to wield, intricate engraves on the both sides of the axe head. The handle was wooden but wrapped with black leathers, she looked at him softly. He then turned and headed towards the woods.

"H–hey...Wait a minute! Where did you...get this?!" Astrid asked trying to run after him.

"Made by yours truly last night when everyone was sleeping, amazing none of you heard the clanging of a hammer or the forge being lit..." Hiccup called back shrugging, Astrid froze in her steps now. Hiccup had made it last night, for her. "Happy Birthday, Astrid." Hiccup kept walking to the forest edge. "Just because everyone forgets my birthday...doesn't mean I forget other's." Astrid's eyes widened, she couldn't believe it. Hiccup had...remembered her birthday and made her something even after everything that happened. Every watched him walk away without saying a word holding his bag over his shoulder.

Suddenly a black blur landed behind Hiccup and everyone recognized what it was, a Night Fury creeping up and Hiccup had no idea. "Hiccup!..." Astrid tried to yell for him. He wasn't that far away from them, maybe 5 feet.

"Son...whatever you do...don't move..." Stoick said louder, Hiccup slumped his shoulders and dropped the bag turning around to face them and that's when his eyes saw the Night Fury before him. Hiccup moved to the right and the dragon followed his movements, he tried right and the dragon did the same. Hiccup tilted his head, the dragon did the same again.

"I–is it...copying him?" Snotlout blinked.

"It's a freaking Night Fury...and it's so close..." Tuffnut tried to move closer, the dragon whipped is head around and snarled angrily. Hiccup took his chance to move closer to them now and stood between them and the Night Fury now taking a deep breath as the two faced one another. The dragon leaned forward and gave Hiccup a gummy smile as Hiccup arched a brow curiously at him.

"Alright big guy...you are a guy right?..." Hiccup asked it, the dragon gave a nod. He couldn't explain it but he felt like he knew this dragon, but something wasn't connecting the dots. It wasn't focusing on anyone but him so did it know him? "D–do you...know me?" Hiccup asked again, the dragon jumped around happily.

"I've...never seen a dragon act that way before..." Gobber pointed out.

"Where...have I seen you...how do we know one another...?" Hiccup crouched down slightly bending both legs to be at the dragons level. It now made a strange sound and rolled its eyes behind his head before coughing up half a fish in front of him, then the dragon sat back on its back legs and looked at him curiously a few moments. Hiccup looked at the fish before him, then picked it up.

"What's this dragon doing?..." Fishlegs asked.

"Ssh...Let me think..." Hiccup grumbled as he looked at the fish, then to the dragon before him. He'd...done this before but he couldn't recall, it was like a distant memory to him. Maybe that was due to blood loss from yesterday, Hiccup saw the dragon look at the fish, then move its eyes back to him. "Its...its for me?...You...want me to eat it?" Hiccup asked the dragon who now smiled again at him. Hiccup sighed as he took a deep breath and brought the fish to his mouth and took a bite of it, ignoring the gross sounds the people beside him were making that he'd done it.

"Oh Hiccup...that's just...bleh...It was in his mouth...and stomach. He spat it back up..." Astrid covered her mouth now. Hiccup forced the bite down, then it came back up and he forced that down too. He stuck his tongue out at the taste, the dragon crooned happily as it moved its head towards his wrists, Hiccup watched the dragon try to roll his sleeves up so he helped him out. Now with both wrists revealed to see the open wounds, there were new cuts that the group could see.

"Hiccup...were you cutting last night?..." Stoick asked him.

"Not discussing it...And what does it matter to you..." Hiccup grumbled, suddenly the dragon licked both his wrists a few times. Their eyes widening as the wounds stopped bleeding and slowly closed, only leaving scars. "Yo–you're saliva heals...doesn't it?" Hiccup asked. The Night Fury nodded to him.

Hiccup stood up on both legs now as he reached for him and he growled a bit. "Hiccup, be careful..." Hiccup sighed softly, as he closed his eyes and turned his head slightly and put his hand out again. Then he felt the dragon place its snout to Hiccup's open palm. The group gasped in shock but did nothing otherwise, Hiccup turned his head back to normal and looked at the Night Fury as it hit him full force and his eyes widened, his body started shaking and tears formed in his eyes.

"Too–Toothless?" Hiccup asked him. The dragon tilted its head crooning gently with a gummy smile before it licked his cheek. "Gods...Is...Is it really you?!" Hiccup exclaimed trying to contain himself. Toothless nodded nuzzled his face with his own purring. Hiccup threw his arms around the dragon's neck and hugged him tightly. Everyone's mouths dropped open in shock. "Toothless!" He cried happily, "Oh gods...I've missed you bud." Hiccup smiled wide. He couldn't believe it, Toothless had come back. He was here with him, his best friend was back.


	5. Prophecy

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 5.

Not a single member of the Hooligan tribe knew what to say or do at this moment. A Night Fury, the unholy offspring of lightening and death itself was in the village and being friendly as fuck with Hiccup. It wasn't attacking him, it wasn't growling at him, it was...hugging him almost and Hiccup was returning it. Hiccup was actually crying too, overjoyed this dragon had returned to him but when the heck had they even met? That's what everyone wanted to know right now. Nothing made sense anymore, they were all standing there in utter shock.

Finally after a minute of two, Hiccup released the dragon and pressed his forehead to the Night Fury's forehead. "Oh Toothless...I'm so glad you're back...I was starting to think you forgot about me...it's been two years after all." Hiccup told him, Toothless purred contently warbling in delight.

"Okay...what is going on here...I think we'd all like to know..." Astrid asked first after so much silence.

"Hiccup...do you know this Night Fury...?" Gobber asked next.

"He's my best friend, I didn't think I'd ever see him again when we parted ways two years ago..." Hiccup smiled wide as Toothless licked his cheek and their mouths dropped open in shock, again.

"B–but he's...a dragon...a Night Fury!" Stoick boomed, Toothless became defensive and wrapped his tail around Hiccup protectively.

"Woah woah...Easy bud...They won't hurt me again...Will you?" Hiccup narrowed his eyes. Stoick was about to say something but quickly shut his mouth. He didn't want to push Hiccup over the edge again, he wouldn't lose his son. Not over this.

"Alright...Can you tell us about all...this?" Gobber questioned.

"If Toothless can stay with me...I'll tell you everything, but you are not...hear me? NOT allowed to take him from me. Fair enough?" Hiccup asked firmly his eyes mainly on Stoick now, the man finally nodded to him sighing.

"Alright, but he better not hurt anyone..." Stoick stated.

"Him? He's harmless, nothing more than a big old flying lizard aren't you boy?" Hiccup scratched under his chin making Toothless stick his tongue out in delight.

"Fine, just tell us what's going on..." Stoick said now. Hiccup sat down on the grass as Toothless laid beside him, curling around him contently.

"It was two years ago on my 13th birthday...right after I got hurt in the forge. After Gobber told me to take a walk to calm down...I wandered the forest and came across a torn up area with split and downed trees...I followed the path to a cove just below Raven Point...and when I went inside, I saw Toothless. His wing was broken and he was weak and tired, I slipped on the rock and fell in. I thought he was going to kill me you know because legend says whoever gets this close doesn't live to tell the tale...but after a minute...I realized that he didn't shoot me. Toothless crooned at me, as if trying to get my attention so I stayed there and gave him the 5 fish from my bag so he could eat. I knew what it felt like to be hungry, weak, tired...and hurt so I guess I sympathized with him. While he ate, I told him I'd bring him more until he healed and could hunt again...After we finished our food, he saw my arm still bleeding from the forge injury. I told him I'd heal and then he licked my arm and the wound closed...like what you saw before. I told him I wanted to help him, so I made a wing splint for him. Then he coughed up half a fish for me, I ate it, and he let me touch him...the hand thing you saw a second ago...and then for two weeks...I'd go to the cove every day and just sit with him and talk...well I talked, he listened. When he healed...I told him I hoped I'd see him again...and since then...it's been two years..." Hiccup smiled softly as Toothless nudged his cheek.

"So...you befriended him, you two helped one another." Fishlegs blinked.

"You could say that...yes. He healed my arm, I fixed his wing. He...became my only friend, my best friend." Hiccup leaned against Toothless.

"Wait...he's...the friend you talked about in your journal...When you said your final goodbye..." Astrid gasped. Hiccup's eyes narrowed now and she instantly regretted saying something.

"You went through my stuff?..." Hiccup asked.

"I–it was yesterday...when you were unconscious from trying to kill yourself...W–we wanted to find out what drove you to wanting death...so we could help you when you woke up..." Ruffnut jumped in now.

"So you went through my stuff, my private things...I guess I wouldn't of cared if I were dead but...come on. I was still alive..." Hiccup grumbled, Toothless growled at the group making them back up a little. "Relax Toothless...we aren't staying here much longer..." Hiccup now got up and Toothless did the same. "But yes...he's the friend I was talking about...not like any of you people were my friends..." Hiccup mumbled.

"Hold on a second...this dragon...he's the one who saved you yesterday when you jumped..." Gobber said quickly.

"Come again?" Hiccup looked at him curiously.

"Yesterday...after you jumped, we saw a black blur fly out from Raven Point. It grabbed you and brought you back up to the cliff...then flew off after glaring at us..." Astrid informed him.

Hiccup looked at Toothless with a little shock. "Yo–you saved me bud?" Hiccup asked, Toothless nodded to him. "You came back...to visit. You were in the cove, weren't you? Waiting for me then when you saw me jump...you flew out to save me?" Hiccup asked him. Toothless shook his head and nudged his arms where the cuts were once open. "You...smelled the blood, you recognized it from all the way over there...? You knew I was in trouble...didn't you?" Hiccup said softly.

Toothless nodded to him. "He actually understands you, doesn't he?" Gobber asked.

"Seems too, he can hear and answer my questions with facial expressions or nodding." Hiccup shrugged, as Toothless wandered from his side them came back holding Hiccup's bag and put it at his feet. "Yeah bud, don't worry. We'll go to our spot in a minute..." Hiccup smiled at him.

"Y–you're still goin to leave?" Gobber questioned.

"Of course I am...I still haven't forgiven any of you...Toothless, are you staying with me...or just visiting?" Hiccup asked him. Toothless whacked him with his tail, "Okay okay I get it. You're staying...you don't want me hurt again..." Hiccup smiled. Toothless nodded smiling back at him.

"Hiccup, he's a Night Fury...he can't stay on Berk with us...have you forgotten the war..." Stoick started to say, Toothless growled at him now.

"Then I'm leaving with him. Believe me dad...I'd rather be cast out and marked a traitor as long as it means staying with Toothless. Who is he gonna hurt? He saved my life, without him...I wouldn't be standing in front of you right now. I think he's more than proved his place here, or at least with me..." Hiccup argued. "And what war...If I recall...I stopped your raid last night..." Hiccup grumbled out.

"That doesn't mean you can stop them all, Hiccup." Stoick sighed.

"I'll be the judge of that, but for now my friend and I are going to the cove...and remember what I said. You leave me alone...I'll come here two times a week, when I want too and yes he's coming with me...These are my terms, if you can't agree then is shows me you've not changed at all and you still can't listen to me so it'd make you a liar and I'll still leave. Make your choice..." Hiccup said calmly.

"Why does he have to come..." Astrid mumbled.

"Because he's my best friend. He was there for me, he saved my life, and now he's back to keep me safe. In fact...I'll even admit that if he wasn't here right now...I'd probably kill myself tonight in the cove." Hiccup said coldly. Toothless whined at him sadly, "I'm alight bud...I've got you. Everything is okay now...I'm not alone anymore..." Hiccup smiled as the dragon licked his cheek affectionately.

"Hiccup...he's a dragon! It's not...natural for a 15 year old boy to be friends with a dragon, a Night Fury no less. Now I'm grateful to the dragon for savin you yesterday but I'm not letting a Night Fury live on Berk...And that is final." Stoick said firmer. Toothless now stood in front of Hiccup snarling at Stoick making them back up, "Call off your dragon..." Stoick told Hiccup now.

"No...He knows you people hurt me, I told him about it when his wing was broken and stuck in the cove for two weeks...I told him everything you put me through then...And now he knows I tried to kill myself, because of all of you...Dragons are fiercely loyal to once bonded, Toothless isn't just my friend...he's my bonded dragon. He'll never leave my side again, and he will protect me without hesitation...and right now the group of you are a threat to me...If he can't stay here, then neither will I." Hiccup retorted as he picked up his bag and rubbed Toothless's head softly. "Come on bud, time to leave..." Hiccup said softly.

Toothless crooned at him as he stepped back and lowered himself down as Hiccup looked confused, Toothless motioned with his head for Hiccup to get on his back and Hiccup smiled softly as he strapped his bag to his back then got on Toothless's back. "Where will you go...no one is going to accept you when you're riding that thing..." Stoick told him.

"I don't know...and I don't really care...Toothless will find us home. I trust him to take care of me..." Hiccup glared.

"Stoick...jus a minute there..." Gobber started as he pulled Stoick back a little to talk to him. "Look...The lad is different, Stoick. He always has been and this proves that point. He said he would stay here if his dragon could stay too...I know where the cove is, its just below Raven Point, he'll be safe. He knows these woods like the back of his head...he'll be safe...you heard him...he would of kill himself tonight if the dragon hadn't come back...let the dragon stay...For once...think about Hiccup...You know he won't survive out there...but he'll survive here on Berk...I know it might not be what you wanna do, but you have to if you want to get Hiccup's forgiveness...The boy stopped a raid by showing nothing more than kindness...we could actually learn a lot from him...if nothing else...having dragons on our side could be really beneficial to us...Consider it because if he takes off right now...you'll never see him again..." Gobber explained.

"Gobber's right...we said we'd do anything for his forgiveness...And right now...this is the happiest I've ever seen him." Fishlegs added.

"His friend came to save him...that's loyalty...we have to take the first step, and if it means we let a dragon stay here...then we'll do it. It won't hurt us as long as we don't hurt Hiccup..." Snotlout interjected.

"You're right...I don't want to lose him again...Hiccup is different and we have to accept that, even if it involves dragons. Val was the same way...but she never got where Hiccup was now, where they are calm and friendly. He's just like his mother, and far exceeded her too...Hiccup...wait...I–I've changed my mind..."Stoick started walking back towards Hiccup looked back at him. "He can stay with you...as long as...you're alive...and happy, then I don't care what you do or whom you are friends with..." Stoick sighed.

"You mean that...?" Hiccup asked him. Stoick nodded with a small smile. "Hear that bud, we get to stay!" Hiccup cheered quietly. Toothless warbled lightly still glaring at the Hooligans. "Alright Toothless, lets go to our spot...and you...remember what I said...stay away from me for a while. You'll see me twice a week and I decide those days..." Hiccup reminded.

"We understand...We'll give you your space, Hiccup." Astrid replied, Hiccup pulled a rope from his bag and tied it around Toothless's neck then held on to it tightly.

"Lets go bud!" Hiccup called out, Toothless took a crouching stance before leaping in to the air and beating his wings. "Woohoo!" Hiccup yelled laughing as the two did a back flip midair then leveled out heading towards Raven's Point.

"I cannot believe I just agreed to my son and a night fury being friends..." Stoick slapped his hand over his eyes.

"We do what we can for our kids, Stoick...he's happy right now, might speed up his recovery. Like you said, we have to play this game carefully and by Hiccup's rules. The dragon saved his life, and came back for him after two years. That's true friendship." Spitelout patted his older brother on the back.

"I can't believe he's riding it..." Tuffnut blinked in shock.

"Huh..." Gobber started when he felt something tap him on the shoulder, he looked down to see Gothi there as she began to write in the dirt with her staff. When she was done, Gobber looked at her with a little shock and she only nodded with a smile.

"What did she say Gobber?" Stoick asked.

"The 300 year prophecy will come to pass. Hiccup is destined for greater things and he will be the one to change the world for the better." Gobber recited the runes.

"What prophecy, Elder Gothi...?" Astrid questioned now. Gothi began to write again, as Gobber watched closely.

"I remember that prophecy...it's been handed to every Viking chief since the war began..." Gobber's eyes widened a bit.

"Well out with it Gobber!" Stoick ordered.

"Two worlds will come together by one boy and one dragon. And only together they will show everyone the truth that lies beneath. They will come together through pain and loss and rise above it all, forming an alliance, a friendship, a bond so strong that no army can stand against it. They will end the war, and change the world forever." Gobber stated.

"And...she thinks that...Hiccup is the one the prophecy is talking about?" Fishlegs asked.

"Gothi doesn't think, she knows." Astrid rolled her eyes.

"It would make sense...Hiccup has a way with dragons, and befriending a Night Fury who broke its wing...Left for two years and came back exactly when Hiccup was about to kill himself...Seems pretty cut and dry to me." Gobber shrugged then felt Gothi tap him as he looked down to watch her write. "What do you mean they haven't lost anything yet?" She continued to write, "Oh so they are both going to lose something they needed to be on their own, and come to rely on another for survival...?" Gobber asked. Gothi nodded to him.

"But...what could they both lose that would make them need one another?..." Spitelout questioned now. They all shrugged not knowing what was going to happen, suddenly someone looked to the forest and pointed quickly.

"Its Hiccup!" They shouted, Stoick and the other's quickly turned to see Hiccup rushing out but the Night Fury wasn't with him.

"Son?" Stoick asked quickly seeing Hiccup trip and fall before them, Stoick went to help him up. "Hiccup, what's wrong?"

"Too–Toothless's tail fin...it's hurt...I–it got snagged on a tree when we were flying...its torn and bleeding, he needs...help..." Hiccup panted heading toward the forge, they followed him there as he pulled out a large box then tucked it under his arm and headed back in to the forest as fast as he could.

"Sh–should we follow him?" Astrid asked.

"Yes, he might need our help..." Stoick ordered as he, Gobber, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, and the twins rushed in to the forest following Hiccup's path.

(The Cove)

Hiccup reached the area and slipped through the rocks to the entrance and jumped down to the ground level, he skidded to a stop on his knees near Toothless and hugged him. "Its okay bud...its okay...you'll be alright...I promise...You saved me, now I'll save you..." Hiccup panted harshly coughing a few times. Stoick, Gobber, and the teens arrived and made their way inside the cove.

"Wow...This place does exist..." Astrid breathed out.

"Of course it does, I didn't lie...what do you want, I specifically said not to follow me..." Hiccup grumbled as he opened the box and started pulling out knives, wrappings, some ointments. Toothless whined, hissing in pain. "I know...I know bud...it hurts...it'll be okay...Ssh, just trust me." Hiccup told him calmly trying to keep himself from freaking out. Gobber hobbled over and looked at the tail.

"Hiccup...you can't save it." Gobber said.

"I'm not losing Toothless! Understand me? I. Am. Not!" Hiccup yelled angrily.

"Hiccup, it's almost completely torn off lad. It won't just heal like our wounds do...Dragons who wings and fins die, because they can't get away. A downed dragon...is a dead dragon." Gobber explained. Hiccup's eyes widened as Toothless looked down sadly and closed his eyes.

"Oh Toothless...oh no...no no no...I can't lose you bud..." Hiccup laid over Toothless's head closing his eyes to keep from crying. Toothless warbled to him and moved his tail towards his mouth as Hiccup moved back a little watching what Toothless was doing, without warning Toothless bit in to the wounded fin and ripped it off completely. "Toothless...what are you doing!" Hiccup asked quickly as he saw Toothless start licking it and the wound closed. "Y–you'll die without that, Toothless...you'll never be able to...fly." Hiccup felt tears forming in his green eyes. Toothless looked away as Hiccup hugged him again.

"Downed dragons die because not only can they not fly to get away from attack, but they also can't hunt..." Stoick sighed.

"Then I'll bring him food...I won't let him die...I can't...without him...I don't have a reason to stay anymore...if he dies...then I'm going with him." Hiccup felt Toothless lick his cheek and nuzzled against him.

"Hiccup no! You're not killing yourself if he dies, he's just a dragon that you're treating like a pet!" Stoick ordered.

"You don't get it...you just don't fucking get it, do you!? Toothless is not just a dragon to me, he's not just another winged beast you think needs to die! He's not a damn pet to me, he's my friend. Okay! My best fucking friend and I'd sooner die than live this life without him in it!" Hiccup yelled making them back up a little. "He was and still is the only one in this cove, on this island who cares about me!"

"That's not true, Hiccup...we care about you..." Gobber tried to tell him.

"Yeah...now you do. Where the hell was all this worry and concern for me the last 7 years of my life!? Huh, give me that answer!" Hiccup growled out, Toothless now wrapped around him protectively again, snarling at them. "I was beaten, teased, tripped, pushed, shoved every single day. By everyone in this village since I was 8. I was called worthless, useless, a disappointment, the embarrassment of Berk, a weakling, stupid, that I'd never amount to anything...that I'll always be just a Hiccup, by my supposed tribe. By the people who are supposed to stand with me, support me, protect me, be there for me. Granted not everyone is guilty because some didn't hurt me, or say hurtful things...but those people also just stood by and watched it happen." Hiccup glared.

"This Night Fury...this dragon who is likened the unholy offspring of lightening and death itself, the dragon that is told about in the dragon manual not to engage only hide and pray it doesn't find you...this same dragon let me live. He didn't kill me when he saw me that day two years ago. Everything you know about dragons is wrong! And my proof is in the fact he not only let me live, he healed my arm that day, and today. He came back, for me and he saved my life. He knew I was in trouble, I was hurt...and he revealed himself to save me. This oh so dangerous dragon has shown me more kindness, affection, more compassion than any human ever has so I will NOT abandon him when he needs me. I will never abandon him because he's my best friend and I will stand by him for the rest of my life. I will never leave Toothless because he was there for me when no one else was. He cared when no one else did. He listened to me when no one else did! He did more for me in two weeks that you lot did in my entire existence! Did that get through your thick skull old man...I will never leave him!" Hiccup yelled out.

There was now an awkward silence in the cove, other than the rustle of leaves in the breeze. "And if you try and stop me from helping him...from saving him. Then I promise you on mom's grave...I will be dead within the hour of him dying...Because I will not live this life if he isn't part of it. That's your choice, Stoick...what means more to you. Your hate of dragons...or my life." Hiccup said firmly.

Everyone there now looked to Stoick waiting for his answer, they were worried of what he'd choose to do. Finally Stoick closed his eyes and stepped back. He wouldn't lose Hiccup, he couldn't. He swore to himself he would change for his son, he'd do anything it took to get Hiccup's forgiveness. And he wouldn't go back on that now, "I won't stop you, Hiccup...and...we'll do anything we can to help too." Stoick said nodding.

Hiccup crouched against Toothless, "Don't worry bud...I'm not going to let anything happen to you...I promise." Hiccup said softly as Toothless crooned lowly. "I'll get you something to eat, I'm sure your hungry..." Hiccup told him smiling as he got up and moved to his bag and pulled out a small net, then moved to lake and tossed it in. After 3 minutes, Hiccup pulled it up catching about 20 fish then he brought it over to Toothless. "Breakfast time." Hiccup rubbed his head. Toothless started eating then used his wing to push 5 towards Hiccup.

"Guess he wants you to eat too..." Astrid smiled a bit.

"Thanks bud but I can't eat them raw..." Hiccup chuckled. Toothless moved his head over the fish and fired a small blast to cook them. "I didn't know you could control your blast size and cook a fish with it...You're the best." Hiccup took his dagger out and pierced the fish then started eating it. Then he stopped with his eyes widening in shock.

"Hiccup...what is it?" Fishlegs asked curiously.

"Tha–that's it! I know how to fix his tail! Oh Gods I know what to do so he can fly again..." Hiccup smiled wide as he got to his feet. By now all of them were looking at him in shock and like he'd lost his mind. Hiccup rubbed Toothless's head now. "Don't worry buddy, I'll have ya back up in the air faster than you can say dragon raid. Just stay here and eat, I'll be back...I promise." Hiccup finished his fish quickly then headed for the exit of the cove while the others followed him. "He just needs a new tail..." Hiccup said.

"And...how are you going to get him a new tail?" Snotlout asked. At this, Hiccup simply grinned at them.

"I'm going to build him one." Hiccup then rushed off back towards the village as fast as his legs would carry him leaving the others in complete confusion.


	6. Our Bond

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 6.

Stoick, Gobber, and the teens struggled to keep up with Hiccup as he raced through the woods dodging trees, shrubbery, logs, and low hanging branches. It was all basically downhill and he was avoiding everything so easily, they couldn't believe how very capable he was of handling himself out in the wilderness. Bursting through the trees he bobbed and wove through people to get to the forge, he even jumped over a sheep and slid under a cart to make it. Once in the forge he got it lit then started pulling a variety of metals, and other tools to his desk. He pulled his notebook out and flipped to the drawings of Toothless he'd done two years ago.

"Huh can't believe I never saw that in here..." Gobber blinked.

"You wouldn't. It was hidden so no one would know..." Hiccup stated as he found a good one of Toothless from a high up view to see his tail. He smiled, he would build Toothless a new tail and make it so he could fly again. The others watched as his got to work on pieces they'd never seen before and had no idea what he was doing. Hiccup heated up a rod and hammered it out, then cooled it off and laid it over a blueprint drawing he'd made for size purposes. Next he pulled bolts off a shied, then weighed a few things out.

Hiccup got a piece of leather and cut out the pattern of Toothless's tail, then he began putting everything together. Sliding poles in to fabric, then connecting them to the rest of the contraption. They'd never seen him move so fast or look so focused on anything. Hiccup walked out and held it out and to their surprise it very much looked like a tail fin. Hiccup grinned as he closed it the opened it again to make sure everything was moving properly.

"Wow...that's...just incredible that you built that in less than an hour..." Fishlegs piped up.

"Time to test it out..." Hiccup headed back towards the forest slower this time and they followed.

"Ca–can we watch?" Astrid asked him curiously.

"Whatever..." Hiccup shrugged as he kept walking towards the cove, it was a long walk too. An hour and 30 minutes at best, but running took maybe an hour. Hiccup reached the cove and jumped down to see Toothless waiting for him. "Hey bud! I'm back and look what I got for ya..." Hiccup said showing him the tail, Toothless sniffed it a few times before looking to his own tail where the fin was missing. "Yeah...I made you a new one, lets give it a shot..." Hiccup smiled.

Toothless crooned happily as Hiccup moved to his tail and hooked it on, fastening the belt to keep it in place he opened it up and checked the size against his right tail fin. "Not bad for guessing the size, right bud?" Hiccup chuckled. The others not arrived seeing it on Toothless who without warning shot up in to the sky forgetting Hiccup was still sitting on his tail checking everything. "Woah woah!" Hiccup yelled out crossing his legs and holding for dear life. "Toothless! I'm still back here!" Hiccup called to him.

"Oh Gods he's gonna die..." Astrid covered her eyes. Toothless began to fall and Hiccup noticed the tail wasn't opening on its own. If this were Toothless's real tail his bones would be controlling it, this tail wasn't attached by bone so he couldn't control it. Hiccup reached for the flapping tail and pulled it out just as they were about to crash down and swooped back up staying in the air.

"Aha! Its working!" Hiccup cheered triumphantly. "Yes! I DID IT!" Hiccup laughed now.

"Odin's ghost he actually built a working tail for a dragon..." Gobber and Stoick blinked in shock.

"Alright bud...lets land and get back to the village, I gotta make a few tweaks and I don't feel like running back and forth..." Hiccup called to him. Toothless snorted and whipped around landing outside the cove, "We're going in to the village. I gotta add a few things to make the tail stay open on its own since I can't very well be holding on to his tail while he flies..." Hiccup told the group. They began to climb out as Hiccup and Toothless walked beside one another back through the forest.

The walk was pretty quiet as Hiccup seemed like he was deep in thought about how to make the tail work. "So...how are you going to get it to stay open on its own?" Fishlegs asked him out of the blue.

"Honestly, I don't think there is a way to do it...His tail fin was connected to smaller bones that he could maneuver on his control...my tail is just an add on to where his used to be...I can't reconnect bones, he might never be able to fly without my help..." Hiccup remarked calmly.

"What you're saying...is that he'll never be able to fly on his own..." Stoick confirmed questioningly.

"Not alone he won't...but with me...with me there's a slight chance..." Hiccup said.

(Village-Forge)

Hiccup immediately got back to work in the forge, this time however he was working on something else. A saddle that took two hours to complete and by now it was lunch time, Hiccup had taken a break to eat and feed Toothless again. But afterwards he was right back to work with everyone watching him, Hiccup held up the saddle to Toothless who crooned jokingly and ran away. "He–hey! Get back here!" Hiccup chased him around.

"He's so...happy." Astrid pointed out.

"It appears that way...maybe the dragon does make him feel better, it understands him..." Fishlegs shrugged.

"But that doesn't mean he's forgiven us yet..." Snotlout sighed.

"He will in time...he seems calmer and happier with Toothless around so I guess as long as they are together...he'll come around." Astrid responded. They watched as Hiccup attached the saddle then tied a rope to the tail and then climbed in the saddle holding the other end of the rope.

"Alright bud...nice and easy..." Hiccup told him, Toothless grinned almost and took to the sky. Hiccup pulled the rope to let out the tail, the managed to keep straight a few seconds before Hiccup slid out of the saddle when Toothless turned and the rope pulled to hard and Hiccup fell to the ground with a loud grunt. "Okay...next addition...something to keep me in the saddle..." Hiccup twisted his back to crack it.

"Hiccup...take a break you've been at this for 4 hours..." Stoick asked.

"No...not until I get it right...I made a promise...and Hiccup Haddock doesn't go back on his word, ever." Hiccup said firmly as he entered the forge again and started working on something else, it looked like a belt with two clips on either side that stretched with an elastic like string. Hiccup got back in the saddle and connected the two strings from his belt to it, this time he tied the rope to his left foot and they started again . Hiccup managed to keep it going longer than the last time but still ended up with them crashing in to a field and Hiccup being thrown off.

"Are you alright?" Astrid asked him, Hiccup nodded as he walked back to Toothless to see him rolling around in the grass purring happily.

"Huh...its like cat nip...or in this case...dragon nip." Hiccup blinked a few times seeing Toothless trying to scratch an itch. "Hehe, come here bud. Let me help you out..." Hiccup said as Toothless wandered over and Hiccup began scratching just behind his head making him purr contently, Hiccup accidentally scratched the side of his neck, just under the chin and Toothless froze then plopped to the ground with his eyes closed.

"What did you do to him laddie?" Gobber blinked in surprise.

"I–I don't know...Must be...a pressure point or something..." Hiccup shrugged. "You alright bud?" Hiccup asked as Toothless lazily opened his eyes and licked his cheek before getting up. "Yeah yeah, I love you too." Hiccup rubbed his head as they moved back towards the forge and Hiccup got to work on a bunch of others things. "Okay okay...rope can't make the motions the tail needs to function in sync with the other tail fin...so I need something that lets me alter the tails position as if it were being controlled by the bones..." Hiccup began mumbling to himself.

(2 hours later)

The Hooligans stared at the contraption Hiccup had built. The tail has a large leather saddle pad running down a part Toothless's back. This pad is clipped to two loops of curved metal that runs down and around Toothless's shoulders and front legs in order to keep it attached, secured with wide leather straps. Four lengths of cable made from ropes, two running down each side, allowed Hiccup to adjust the prosthetic tail fin with control stirrups for his feet on either side of the saddle.

"Well...I think we got it bud, wanna give it a shot?" Toothless warbled happily jumping around. "Alright...lets take it over the water then...I don't know if my body can handle any more crash landings..." Hiccup chuckled as he jumped on Toothless's back and positioned his feet in the stirrups and pressed the pedal down checking that the tail was moving properly. Then he realized that didn't know the different positions Toothless used to fly, "Hm...going to need to figure out the positions before we try this...Think you can show me, Toothless?" Hiccup asked him.

Toothless crooned, "Wait what do you mean show you the positions?" Snotlout asked him.

"Unlike most dragons...Toothless has a very set pair of wings he uses to fly with. The tail...controls everything pertaining to turns, rolls, spins, and more...without the tail functioning properly, he can't do anything other than fly straight. But...if he shows me what each position does...I can match it on the left side." Hiccup replied.

"So you're actually...going to have to fly him. You're in charge of his tail movements, you and him have to be in sync when it comes to the tail." Fishlegs explained while Hiccup nodded getting a piece of paper and pencil, he clipped it under a metal piece on the saddle. Then he got a long piece of rope, "Now what are you doing?" Fishlegs asked.

"Well like I said, I don't want to crash anymore so...we're going to fly by staying in place and I'm going to watch his right tail for landings, take off, turns, glides...everything and write down the position so I can match him..." Hiccup answered. "We need good winds for this...The cliff on Raven Point should be good..." Hiccup began to think.

"Hiccup will you please stay off the cliffs...we've have enough scares to last us a life time." Astrid asked him.

"Then maybe you shouldn't of made me feel like I was so worthless and useless that I felt like death was my only option out of the pain...Thankfully...someone else has my back." Hiccup retorted coldly as he and Toothless started for the forest, a boom of thunder got them to stop. "Not safe to fly in a storm...metal attracts lightning, and you're wearing a lot bud. We'll have to wait to test it out for now." Hiccup told Toothless.

"Well lets be getting inside then." Stoick ordered, the rest began to leave but Hiccup continued to the forest. "Hiccup, I meant you too."

"No...I'm staying with Toothless, we'll hunker down in the cove for the duration of the storm." Hiccup told him.

"Hiccup, you have no shelter in the cove...please stay in the hall for now?" Stoick tried again.

"We can...sit around the fire and talk..." Astrid offered to him gently.

"I'd rather sit in the cove with Toothless than hang around in hall talking to a bunch of people who up until yesterday didn't give a damn about me...Lets go bud..." Hiccup said quietly as they continued in to the forest as it began to downpour and Toothless put his wing out to keep Hiccup dry. The group sighed as they made their way to the hall out of the rain.

"Its not going to come easy guys...you have to remember that. We hurt him...we drove him to want to kill himself and he's right...if Toothless hadn't come back, and saved him...he'd be dead right now." Fishlegs said while sitting at the table.

"And no matter how much we want him to stay or talk...if we push him before he's ready...he'll just push away and never forgive us...so we have to back off like he told us too..." Astrid added as they all nodded and sighed again.

(The Cove)

Thankfully the cove had a small cave big enough for him and Toothless to bunk down in, now it was just them with a small fire going to stay warm. "You have no idea how happy I am that you came back, Toothless...I've been so alone since you left..." Hiccup looked down slowly. Toothless crooned sadly and nudged his face. "I just couldn't take it anymore...I wanted to die to get away from them all...and even now they still have no idea how much it hurts me..." Hiccup closed his eyes trying not to cry.

Toothless purred with his wing over his friend as if to say that it was okay and to talk to him because he was here now and he wasn't going leave him again. "I appreciate you staying loyal bud...you're the only friend I have, the only one who cares...those guys don't...I know they want me to forgive them but I just don't know if I can right now...or ever for that matter. After you left...it was just terrible...Every day got worse for me..." Hiccup whimpered leaning against his draconic friend.

He warbled gently lifting a paw and patting his chest, "You want me to tell you about what happened when you were gone?" Hiccup asked, Toothless licked his cheek happily. "Well...it was just like what I told you when you were healing...they beat me, hurt me, teased me, called me names...and I started cutting myself...all those scars on my arm, they weren't injuries, I did them to myself to get rid of the pain...to feel numb, to feel nothing...But yesterday...Gobber, the blacksmith turned on me, told me I was a menace and I'll never be chief with how I was acting...And I just couldn't take it anymore...Gobber has always been like a father to me...but hearing him treat me like the rest of the village did...I didn't have anything left...and I never thought I'd see you again bud so I just...I cut myself deep and then tried to jump off the cliff..." Hiccup cried.

Toothless put his head on Hiccup's and tried to rub his back with a paw but failed because of the cramped space. But Hiccup understood what he was trying to do and smiled a little, "I'm glad you're here now...don't leave me again...please don't leave me again, Toothless...I wouldn't be able to take it." Hiccup closed his eyes yawning. It was only about 5:30 at night, they'd already eaten and he was tired after all that work in the forge perfecting the saddle. Tomorrow they'd test it out, Toothless nudged him a little and adjusted his body so Hiccup could lay against him. "Thanks Toothless...you're the best." Hiccup laid against him and pulled the blanket over his body before soon falling to sleep. Toothless closed his eyes and put his wing over Hiccup before falling asleep himself.

(The Next morning)

Everyone woke up same time is always and sundered towards the hall for breakfast tiredly until they heard someone yell, bringing their eyes to Raven Point they say Hiccup sitting on Toothless with a rope tied to a stump, the other end was attached to Toothless as they were using the strong winds to practice with the tail position. "How early do you think he was up?" Gobber asked elbowing Stoick now.

"Its Hiccup, he was probably up as soon as the rain stopped..." Snotlout chuckled. They saw Hiccup and Toothless land as Hiccup would write something down then they'd start again. The group decided to leave him be and go eat. Meanwhile Hiccup smiled as he looked over the chart that now had 6 positions drawn on it for where the left tail fin had to be while flying for different things.

"Alright bud...I think we got it. Wanna give it a test?" Hiccup asked him. Toothless crooned softly, "Yeah we'll eat first then fly. Today is the day bud, I just feel it." Hiccup rubbed the top of his head and untied the rope so they could get to the cove to eat their breakfast. An hour later they were on the cliff where Hiccup tried to jump off of, the others had come out and noticed this.

"Guys check it out, he's testing out the rig!" Tuffnut pointed to him.

"Hiccup! Please for the love of Thor be careful..." Stoick called to him.

"Yeah yeah, I got it. Toothless won't let anything happen to me, its why we're doing it over the water." Hiccup called back.

"That water is freezing, you're body will go in to shock!" Fishlegs yelled now.

"How about you stop worrying about me! Two days hasn't changed a thing, leave me alone..." Hiccup glared. He took a breath and looked down, they were 50 feet up give or take a few inches. "Alright there bud...we're gonna take this nice and slow..." Hiccup patted Toothless's neck a few times as Toothless leapt off the cliff and leveled himself out in the winds to a basic glide.

"You think he can do it?" Astrid asked now.

"I guess we'll find out...Lot of failed attempts yesterday...All this rides on Hiccup's positioning of Toothless's tail like he said. He has to match Toothless for him to fly." Stoick mentioned while their eyes were watching every move. Hiccup looked down to the paper hooked to the saddle clip.

"Okay here we go...here we go. Position 3...no 4." Hiccup said as he looked to his left leg and pressed the pedal down with his heel and let out the tail, he looked back to check it. Seeing it worked he then checked his straps hooking him to the saddle before Toothless smiled a toothy grin and picked up speed. Hiccup checked the tail again as he took a deep breath looking forward.

"Okay okay its go time bud." Hiccup said as Toothless then pulled his wings in slightly while they dove straight down towards the water making the others gasp, it was actually working. They leveled out flying towards an arched sea stack. "Come on buddy, come on buddy!" Hiccup urged as Toothless's wing tipped the water then he balance while they flew under it perfectly. "Yes it worked!" Hiccup cheered out.

"I can't...believe its working he's actually...flying, they are flying!" Fishlegs threw his fist in the air excitedly. Hiccup smiled wide, the feeling was incredible. This is what it felt like to be free...to fly. Hiccup twisted a bit as they began climbing higher up. Hiccup leaned to avoid another sea stack but they hit once.

"Sorry..." Hiccup told Toothless, then they hit another. "That was my fault..." Hiccup said again, Toothless smacked him with his ear. "Yeah yeah, I'm on it...Position 4...I mean 3..." Hiccup adjusted the stirrup as they headed straight up . "Yeah! Go baby! Oh this is amazing!" Hiccup yelled out happily. "The wind in my–..." Suddenly the paper with his tail positions on it broke off the saddle and flew past Hiccup. "Cheat sheet...stop!" He yelled reaching for it, Toothless's wings stopped beating as the clips holding Hiccup to the saddle lifted and the two separated and began to fall down towards the water, it was a 200 foot drop from where they had been.

"Oh gods..." Astrid covered her mouth in fear.

"Hiccup!" Stoick yelled with worry.

"Oh gosh! Oh gods!" Hiccup yelled while they fell. Toothless was spinning all around out on control and Hiccup was still falling down as they were nearing the waters below which were filled with sea stacks, a maze of them. "Okay, you gotta...kind'a angle yourself..." Hiccup told Toothless as he was spinning and whacked Hiccup in the face with his wing by accident. "OW!" Hiccup held his face but then Hiccup got over Toothless and reached for the saddle. He grabbed it and pulled himself back, he put his feet in the stirrups and hooked himself back in place.

"Look, he's back on!" Ruffnut said pointing down. Hiccup pulled back so Toothless would fix himself, he now spread his wings to slow the descent down but they were faced with the sea stacks and they didn't have time to fly out over them. Hiccup grabbed the paper from his mouth and looked at it then the maze ahead a few times before tossing it and pressing the peddle down opening the tail and leaning forward against Toothless to make himself more streamlined. The hooligans watched as Hiccup and Toothless wove in and out of the maze perfectly, Hiccup nailing every position he needed to avoid crashing at that speed. They rolled once and made it out, both panting.

As they got higher up and Toothless leveled out, Hiccup let go of the saddle and threw both fists in the air. "YEAH!" He cheered, Toothless in his excitement shot a blast that exploded in front of them and were now headed to fly right through it. "Oh come on..." Hiccup's arms dropped down in defeat as they went right through the fire.

"Is he crazy!" Gobber yelled, they watched while Hiccup and Toothless flew through the blast and whipped around landing a few inches and front of them, Hiccup had a few burns on his as well his hair was burnt back and stays in place, he blinked a few times to get the feeling back in his face before getting off Toothless and facing him.

"We did it...holy fucking Thor we did it bud! You can fly...we can fly!" Hiccup cheered as Toothless tackled him down and licked his face happily.

"Hiccup that was amazing!" Astrid exclaimed smiling.

"Oh gods you have no idea how good it feels to be able to up there...the feeling of flying is...indescribable..." Hiccup breathed out as Toothless finally let him up.

"Forget that...you built a working dragon tail cuz, that's something be damn proud of. You built him a tail!" Snotlout said excitedly. Hiccup looked at Toothless and the tail he'd made. He had made it, his creation and with it...he was able to give his best friend his flight back. Toothless stared at him with a gummy smile as Hiccup understood what he was saying, it was a thank you for what he'd done for him.

"You're welcome, Toothless." Hiccup pressed his forehead to his friend's, both of their eyes closed.

"That bond you have is really something..." Astrid said softly.

"Having a friend who won't abandon you, who'll protect you, be your shelter, you shoulder to cry on, the only person in the world you can trust with your life. The feeling of never being alone but always safe. That's the strength of the bond Toothless and I have...and its forever." Hiccup replied as he jumped on Toothless's back and they sped off without another word leaving everyone in shock, but also guilt. Toothless was the one person who had been there for him and what was worse. Toothless wasn't a person...he was a dragon and Hiccup trusted him more than anyone else. This dragon had been there for him when they weren't, and now they needed to show Hiccup they could be there for him too.


	7. Beyond Help

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 7.

It had been 3 weeks since everything happened with Hiccup trying to kill himself, 3 weeks since they found out he befriended a Night Fury whom he called Toothless, and 3 weeks since Hiccup moved to living in the cove with his friend. Since then, there hadn't been any raids and true to his word Hiccup came back twice a week so they could see he was still okay. The days he spent in the village, most of which were flying on Toothless or in the forge working on new things. Everyone did their best to stay out of his way and carry on as usual but the question still remained of when and if Hiccup would forgive them.

The ones who stayed mostly close to Hiccup were the teens and Stoick. Gobber too but he worked in the forge so he always had eyes on Hiccup. They mostly liked to watch him work on weapons, he was really good at it. Watching him fly on Toothless was incredible, the two moved so perfectly in the sky like it was meant to be that way. It made Stoick, Spitelout, Gobber, and the teens questions if Hiccup really was the one the prophecy talked about. It seemed that way but there were still things that didn't make sense.

The prophecy talked about a boy and dragon losing something that would make them need one another and form a bond stronger than anyone ever thought was possible, that they'd change the world forever. Hiccup had just visited 3 days ago so they knew he'd be coming around again tomorrow, the village was having a meeting tonight over dinner to discuss a party for Hiccup when he visited because it was his birthday and since they'd never celebrated one for him before the figured he might like it if he saw they had remembered.

All of them were gathered in the hall as Stoick entered and brought the room to silence. "Alright, lets get down to business. We know why we're here...because tomorrow is Hiccup's 16th birthday and I know we've never given him a party before. As you know, Vikings have birthday milestones. 13 to represent becoming a teenager. 16 to show the boy or girl is a young adult, finally 18 to show adulthood. 20 is coming of age...We never gave Hiccup his deserved birthday for 13...so we owe it to him to give him the best birthday tomorrow." Stoick announced.

"How do we even know he'll come!?" Someone asked.

"Because he comes twice a week, the 3rd day and the 6th day, tomorrow is the 6th..." Astrid rolled her eyes.

"So how are we going to do it? Get the village all decorated or just the hall?" Snotlout asked.

"The hall, that way when he flies in he doesn't suspect anything...It's a surprise party." Gobber interjected.

"What if he knows its his birthday and decides not to waste his time?" Tuffnut blinked.

"He'll come...He never breaks his word, he told us that himself..." Ruffnut retorted.

"Alright so we're gonna clean up this hall and decorate. I want a feast for my boy, and lots of fish for his dragon...let's make him feel welcome, like part of the tribe." Stoick ordered. Without another word they began to plan things out for Hiccup's party.

(The Cove)

Hiccup and Toothless had just returned from a flight to their temporary home, the cove. There wasn't much there but a basic shack for Hiccup and Toothless, it didn't have a door just two sheets to cover the entrance. It was enough to keep the rain out and block strong winds since Hiccup enforced it with sheets of metal, it wasn't a lot but then again it was only temporary until Hiccup decided if he could forgive the tribe for what they'd done. He'd thought about it everyday since Toothless came back and yet he still couldn't figure out if he could forgive them for all they put him through.

"Guess we better go there tomorrow or they'll think I died..." Hiccup chuckled softly while cooking a fish over the fire while Toothless ate his 20 raw. "I wonder if they even remember what tomorrow is..." Hiccup sighed looking down. Toothless lifted his head and rubbed against Hiccup's cheek, "Its my 16th birthday bud...16 years since I was born..." Hiccup stared in to the flames again. "I guess it doesn't matter, I have you and I know you care." Hiccup smiled now as Toothless licked his cheek.

Now sitting in the silence, Hiccup finished cooking his food and began to eat it slowly. He'd cooked 3 for himself, he never really ate a lot. "You won't leave me, right bud?" Hiccup asked as Toothless crooned sadly looking at him and nuzzled his cheek again. "I know you can't fly without me but...if you could...would you leave me?" Hiccup asked. Toothless shook his head firmly to Hiccup which made him smile, "You're the best bud and you're my best friend..." Hiccup leaned against him then started to eat again. "Hey, what's say you and me take another flight after dinner?" Hiccup asked him. Toothless warbled happily. Taking it as a yes they both finished quickly and prepared to leave.

Hiccup put out the fire leaving it smoking as he got on Toothless's back and they sped off out of the cove heading West. "I'll never get tired of this that's for sure bud..." Hiccup smiled as Toothless crooned in response. "I wish we could talk, Toothless...You do understand me, right?" Hiccup asked, he nodded. "Maybe I can teach you...how to write, you can use your claw to make the words...if I teach them to you, you wanna give it a try?" Hiccup questioned rubbing his head. Toothless nodded his head happily again. "Alright, we'll start tomorrow then...Hey...what's that up ahead?..." Hiccup asked looking forward now to see a bunch of what looked like dots headed right at them.

"Dragons..." Hiccup whispered realizing what they were, Toothless began to growl as he and Hiccup began dodging them. "They're headed right for Berk...Come on bud, we gotta get back...those guys are totally unprepared..." Hiccup said quickly. Toothless roared as he whipped around and they headed straight to Berk as fast as Toothless's wings would take them.

(Berk)

As everyone had finished planning they began making their way outside to see dragons coming in fast. "RAID!" The first person out shouted. Everyone jumped in to action with their weapons to defend the village from the dragons, they knew Hiccup didn't want them to be killed but he wasn't here to help and even so there was no guarantee they'd listen to him again. "Prepare catapults!" Stoick ordered.

Hiccup saw it from where he was, "Toothless warning shot." Hiccup told him, Toothless fired a blast at one of the Monstrous Nightmares who was preparing to attack his dad. The nightmare flew off quickly as Toothless landed and Hiccup jumped off.

"Oh thank Thor you're alright son...We haven't had a raid in weeks, why now?..." Stoick asked him.

"I don't know, I saw them coming here when I was flying West...so I shot back to help because I knew everyone would be in the middle of eating right now and you'd be unprepared..." Hiccup stated.

"Hiccup you never got trained to fight dragons, I can't let you fight..." Stoick said firmly.

"Did you really just go there?..." Hiccup asked narrowing his eyes, "Hello! I trained a Night Fury! I fly him...I think by now you realize I'll never fight dragons..." Hiccup mumbled.

"I don't want you getting hurt!" Stoick ordered.

"I'll be fine! Just give me a chance..." Hiccup tried again.

"My word is final son, get inside and out of the way before you or someone else gets hurt!" Stoick bellowed out angrily, Hiccup's eyes widened at what he said, even a few others stopped and looked over. Had Stoick really just said that to Hiccup, to get inside and get out of the way.

"Yo–you still...don't trust me...you st–still think I'll cause damage and be in the way...After everything...you still think I'm useless..." Hiccup stammered a little as Toothless crooned rubbing against his hand. It was that moment that Stoick realized what he said, and his eyes softened.

"Hiccup...I didn't...mean it like that..." Stoick began but Hiccup only moved beside Toothless, shaking his head trying to fight back tears forming slowly.

"I–I knew it...I fucking knew nothing would change!" Hiccup growled, Toothless snarled at Stoick now.

"No...no we have changed Hiccup...we have please...we know you're not useless, you've proven it so many times..." Astrid tried to step in now.

"Oh so I had to prove I wasn't!? Well fine then...I guess I'll have to prove it again...Toothless, get ready..." Hiccup got on his back as he nodded to what he was told, then Hiccup cupped his hand over his mouth and took in a deep breath, as did Toothless and then together they both let out a massive, ear splitting roar that made the tribe cover their ears. The dragons swarming over head seemed to stop then fly off back West. The tribe looked at Hiccup now who panted heavily, then glared at them.

"Wh–what did you do...?" Fishlegs asked.

"It's the roar of a Night Fury...combined Toothless and I make it 10 times louder, makes the other dragons afraid because nothing holds a candle to a Night Fury so they won't challenge it..." Hiccup said coldly, his eyes falling on his father now. "Come on Toothless...we're going home..." Hiccup said quieter as he opened Toothless's tail closing his eyes.

"Son please...I–I didn't mean what I said...I'm just...worried for you because you didn't train with the others..." Stoick began.

"Does it matter!" Hiccup yelled making Stoick flinch a little, "I don't need to be trained like them, I won't kill dragons! I WILL NOT KILL AN INNOCENT CREATURE JUST BECAUSE ITS MISUNDERSTOOD! Why can't you grasp that? I don't need to fight them, or kill them! You've all seen first hand how I handle it...I don't have to do what you do to achieve the same end. I can make them leave...without violence or death on either side of the field...but to you...I'm still a useless, weak kid who will cause some kind of destruction and get hurt, or hurt someone else...well look around. I don't see anyone hurt, do you?!" Hiccup motioned to the crowd.

"No...no one got hurt..." Stoick looked down.

"You still think I'll always be in the way and causing trouble...that I'm not capable of handling myself in any situation." Hiccup held the saddle as Toothless prepared to fly off.

"Hiccup don't go...please!" Astrid tried to get his hand. "Please come back to the village...we have changed...I swear we have, just give us a chance..." She pleaded him.

"This was your chance...and its clear to some that I'm still no good to have around..." Hiccup said emotionlessly.

"Well not all of us feel that way! You can't take it out on all of us..." Snotlout argued.

"This is a tribe, is it not?" Hiccup asked, a few nodded. "Then as it should be, if one person in the tribe messes up...the whole tribe suffers. And since all of you had a hand in hurting me over the years...I will continue to hate you all. None of you showed me you're sorry for what happened. None of you have tried to talk to me when I come here twice a week. None of you even acknowledge me...nothing has changed! Except the fact I'm not being beat up on when I walk through..." Hiccup informed them.

"Y–you told us to leave you alone..." Fishlegs chimed in.

"Yeah that means don't pester me about if I've forgiven you or not, or decided if I even can. That doesn't mean to act like I'm not around. For Thor's sake that's why I don't feel like part of this tribe...Because just like before...I'm fucking invisible to everyone. You know I'm here, you can clearly see me...but not a single one of you makes an effort to talk to me, to ask how I've been, how my day is going, how am I feeling...Nothing. The only people who have remotely gotten close to getting my forgiveness is Gobber, Astrid, Fishlegs, The twins, and Snotlout..." Hiccup mumbled.

"W–we thought...you wanted us to back off..." Stoick said now.

"Weren't you listening to me. Of course not, you never have. You always just overlook what I say and do your own thing. I said not to pester me about forgiving anyone...And not to come to the cove, to let me think. I never said ignore my damn existence! Which is what started all this bullshit, ignoring me and making me feel like no one wants me around! Treating me like a damn outcast...If you don't want me here...just say so and I'll go because I won't stay where I'm not wanted." Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest.

"W–we do want you around, Hiccup...we're sorry...we misunderstood what...y–you meant...please...just tell us what you want us to do...and we'll do it...whatever you want, we'll do." Astrid cried.

"The only thing I want...is the same thing I've always wanted..." Hiccup turned his head to hide his tears now, "To be part of the tribe. To be wanted. To be understood. To be heard and seen...To be...accepted for who I am. To not be invisible and...just once...feel like...I belong." With that he gave Toothless a pat on the neck and his dragon understood, he spread his wings, "Since you know I'm alive...I won't bother coming tomorrow. Goodnight..." Hiccup added and then Toothless darted off in to the night sky.

"And...somethin is tellin me we are back to square one..." Gobber sighed as he and the teens looked down sadly.

"And now he won't come here tomorrow for the party we planned..." Fishlegs mumbled.

"Maybe he still will...I–I'll go talk to him in the morning...I'll try and convince him to come through..." Astrid offered.

"He told us to stay away from the cove..." Snotlout reminded her.

"So what...it's worth a shot...he already hates us, nothing let to lose..." Ruffnut added.

"Well we'll deal with it in the morning...he probably doesn't want us near him right now..." Gobber looked down. "I miss having the lad in the forge with me, my work never fell behind..." Gobber then added moping a bit.

"Maybe...that's how we get him to come back...we tell him you're falling behind and we don't have enough weapons to defend ourselves if we get attacked. How can he know if we're changing if he can't see us, and it'll give us a chance to be a tribe to him again...we know what he wants, to feel like he's part of the tribe so we have to show him that he is..." Fishlegs offered.

"We can't do that...he'll catch on if we just out right tell him we need help and start being all over him...no we have to do it...delicately." Astrid said. "I'll go to the cove in the morning and talk to him...for now lets just...act like nothing is up...And Chief..." Astrid saw him look at her sadly, "You gotta get it together...what you said could of completely relapsed him in to depression and if Toothless wasn't here...I don't think I need to tell you what he would of done...Stop being his chief...and be his father." Astrid pointed at him harshly.

Stoick knew she was right. He was acting like Hiccup's chief instead of being what Hiccup really needed and that was his father. If he didn't stop, Hiccup would never forgive him. "That I will..." Stoick nodded.

"We all...have to remember that Hiccup tried to kill himself even though he knew Toothless was still out there...and if he is pushed to far...regardless of Toothless being here...He could try again, and if he were to die because he felt we gave him no other choice out of the pain...Toothless would destroy this village in revenge...These are dangerous waters to tread through, so we all have to be careful, while still acting normal." Fishlegs reminded, everyone nodded as they began to clean up and then get to their homes.

(Cove)

As soon as they landed Hiccup silently walked in to the shack which was built off the entrance of the cave there, he leaned against the cave wall with his knees pulled up to his chest, arms locked around his legs, face buried in his knees crying. "Why bud...why can't they trust me...and treat me like one of them...why is it all just an act...a lie..." Hiccup whimpered out. Toothless crooned softly and tried to comfort him the best he could but didn't know what to do to help his friend. Toothless nuzzled his cheek and put his wing around Hiccup gently.

"I–I'm sorry bud...just...lets go to sleep okay...get this day over with." Hiccup tried to smile to him, Toothless licked his cheek and laid down to close his eyes and go to sleep. Hiccup sat awake for a while staring out in to the darkness of the cove, the only light was from the moon above. Hiccup got up quietly so not to disturb Toothless and wandering out of the shack, he stared up at the starry sky. He wandered out of the cove and stood on the point for a while, just sitting there silently.

'Why can't they just accept me for who I am...for being different...' Hiccup thought as he absentmindedly dragged his blade across his wrist, the searing pain of a fresh cut brought him from his thoughts about everything and he looked down at his wrist which was now beginning to bleed and drip in to his lap. He hadn't made a large or deep cut, but it was enough to draw blood still.'Why...did I cut myself...I–I have Toothless...I don't need them to care so...why did I hurt myself...why am I cutting again...' Hiccup asked himself as he watched the warm crimson liquid coat his wrist.

Why was he doing this? He said all he needed was Toothless then why was he cutting again? Was it because he knew the village was only acting? That they didn't care, that they still thought he was useless and couldn't do anything right? Is that why he felt upset again, because it was all lies so they could hurt him again? Hiccup looked at his dagger and put it to his wrist and dragged it across again. Each cut he made he thought of something the village had said to him before, calling him names. Tears fell from his eyes as the cuts came faster and on both arms until he finally yelled out as loud as he could in anger.

Below as people were walking to their homes, they stopped hearing the yell and looked towards Raven's point.

"What...was that?" Gobber asked.

"I–I think it was Hiccup..." Fishlegs said now.

"You don't think he..." Snotlout trailed off looking to the other teens now. Fear rose in their eyes as they rushed as fast as they could in the dark forest to get to the point. It was going to take them a while but they had to try. While they were rushing there, Toothless had woken up and noticed Hiccup was gone from the cove but his nose knew better. Toothless roared out loudly to get his attention.

"I–I'm sorry...T–Tooth...less...I'm not...strong enough. I'm just...a weak, useless, little...hiccup..." Hiccup cried lightly as the blade dropped from his hands weakly and he laid back staring at the sky.

While the group ran they heard Toothless's roar and froze almost, "Was that...Toothless?" Astrid asked.

"No other dragon stays on Berk...sometin is wrong...If 'Iccup left the cove, Toothless can't get out on 'is own and if 'Iccup hurt 'imself then Toothless can't save 'im..." Gobber said quickly, they only forced themselves to move faster through the forest to get there only praying they made it in time. Meanwhile Toothless was screeching and roaring trying to get just enough air to get back the rocks of the cove.

As Hiccup stared up at the sky with void eyes he felt things getting fuzzy, everything around him was spinning slowly and getting darker with each passing moment that he laid there motionless. There were cuts on his wrists and running along the length of both arms, his tunic sleeves were drenched in blood but he refused to pick himself up and stop it. He wanted to die, he wanted it to be over. No more lies, acting, or pain. It would all end soon.

Toothless growled lowly as he smelled the teens, Gobber, and Stoick nearing the cove. Toothless reared back as far as he could go then took a running jump beating his wings hard as he got to the first rock leading out, he used his claws to grip the rock and kick off the rock to left up, still flapping his wings until he finally got out and panted a few times. "Toothless!...You got out on your own..." Snotlout exclaimed.

"Where's Hiccup! Where's my son, dragon!" Stoick yelled.

"Stoick stop!" Astrid hissed her chief, "Toothless please...I know we don't deserve to be here but help us find him...if he hurt himself again...we don't know where he is and he could die if we don't hurry...please help us..." Astrid pleaded the dragon. Toothless scoffed at them turning his head, he didn't want his friend to die and if Hiccup was hurt or had hurt himself Toothless couldn't do anything to help whether he liked it or not he needed their help right now. Toothless motioned for them to follow him and with that he darted off in a run to get around the cove heading to the point with the 7 tribe members following him.

Toothless sniffed the ground to keep the trail, they finally reached the point to see Hiccup laying there staring blankly at the sky. The color was drained from his face, his breathing was shallow and labored, his eyes were void of anything but silent tears falling down from the corners of his eyes. "Oh gods..." Astrid cried as she rushed to Hiccup's side and lifted his head in her lap. Toothless kicked the dagger of the edge and whined helplessly to his rider and friend, nudging his face. "He's freezing!" Astrid warned.

"Wa–wait fo–for...me m-ma..ma..." Hiccup whispered weakly as his eyes started closing.

"No...Hiccup no...come on...stay with me please...don't close your eyes...stay awake!" Astrid begged shaking him a little as Snotlout and Tuffnut lifted Hiccup's sleeve to see the amount of cuts he'd made, as soon as the sleeves were gone Toothless licked them a few times to stop the bleeding and close them.

"Hiccup...its not your time to go...you've got...your whole life ahead of you yet...please...please don't go..."Stoick said as Astrid now bent forward pressing her forehead to Hiccup's crying hard, her tears falling on his face.

"Stay with me...please stay, Hiccup...I can't lose you...I can't...I care about you to much to lose you..." Astrid sobbed hard but Toothless didn't like it, he used his paw to push Astrid back carefully while he wrapped himself around Hiccup's form and closed his eyes.

"Ha–hap..py bir–birth..day t–to m–me..." Hiccup closed his eyes snuggling in to Toothless's chest.

"Wh–what's...he doing?..." Stoick asked.

"He's using his body heat to warm Hiccup so he doesn't freeze to death...He's keeping him alive..." Gobber breathed out. They just stood there a while maybe 20 minutes watching closely as the color slowly returned to Hiccup's face and his shivering stopped, he curled against Toothless now asleep.

"We can't move him...but we can't leave either..." Astrid said slowly.

"I agree...lets just stay up here tonight. We'll make a fire and sleep on the grass..." Snotlout nodded, without much more argument everyone went to get wood while Astrid stayed leaning against a tree watching them. They got the fire going and all found a spot near it, no one could sleep though knowing Hiccup tried to kill himself again and this time he even left Toothless in the cove so no one could stop him. They saw Toothless adjust and Hiccup now laying on Toothless's right wing, his head on Toothless's right front paw like a pillow and then Toothless brought his left wing over and wrapped Hiccup in them gently.

"We really fucked up guys...and I don't think Hiccup is ever going to forgive us...Not after this..." Snotlout looked in to the fire. None of them wanted to agree but they knew it was true, Hiccup had been okay for 3 weeks with Toothless around but after tonight what Stoick said to him about getting inside and staying out of the way made Hiccup feel that they still didn't trust him, that they felt he couldn't handle himself and would only be in their way and it pushed him to leave Toothless in a place he couldn't get out of on his own in order to kill himself. This all meant one thing...Hiccup's depression was beyond even Toothless's help and they had to do something or next time they might not be so lucky to get their in time because tonight they only made it by seconds. Any later and Hiccup would be dead, this was a thought that prevented them from sleeping the rest of the night. They all stayed awake, just looking at Toothless's wings where Hiccup laid sleeping.


	8. Nightmares

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 8.

She didn't know when the others had fallen asleep but she found herself unable too, staring up at the sky she could guess it was maybe 4 in the morning. She was tired and she wouldn't deny that fact but every time she closed her eyes she was afraid to wake up and find out Hiccup was dead. He'd been so pale and cold when they arrived hours ago, even though Toothless stopped the bleeding they were all scared he might not make it through the night or he'd wake up and try again. Astrid's eyes drooped a little as she felt herself falling asleep. She didn't want too, she couldn't. She had to stay awake and watch Hiccup. Yet she couldn't, sleep took her over.

 **[Astrid's Dream]**

 _She opened her eyes and found herself standing in a grassy field, she recognized it from her childhood. Why was she here? Hearing laughter and giggling she looked around to see two kids running around chasing one another, one kids had blonde hair in two braids with blue eyes while the other kids had auburn hair and green eyes. Astrid gasped now, it was her...and Hiccup playing together as kids when they were little. They were about 4 years old, this wasn't a dream...it was a memory but what was it trying to show her._

 _"You're my bestest friend, Asty." Little Hiccup told her handing her a purple flower blushing._

 _"You're my bestest friend too, Hic." Younger Astrid replied as she took the flower from him, blushing back._

 _"When we get old enough...I'm gonna have my daddy make sure I marry you, then I'll be the chief with you by my side!" Little Hiccup told her. Older Astrid watched this play out, Hiccup had a crush on her way back then too._

 _"I can't wait to run Berk beside you, we'll be the best rulers ever." Younger Astrid giggled. Her eyes widened in shock, was this really what happened. They were 4 years old, and talking about getting married and him being chief of Berk with her ruling beside him as his chieftess._

 _"We'll always be friends forever right?" Hiccup smiled wide._

 _Younger Astrid nodded to him as they hugged one another, "Forever and always, I promise." She said to him._

 _The dream faded out and turned to when they were 7, just 3 years later. Astrid saw little Hiccup rush up behind her younger self and give her a purple flower, just like when they were 4 and she took it. "Hey Hic, what are you doing today?" Younger Astrid asked curiously._

 _"Staying out of everyone's way...Snotlout pushed me this morning, I got a scrape on my arm and they called me mean names but I didn't care...I wanted to see you and I brought you the flower you like so much." Hiccup blushed again, Astrid leaned over and kissed his cheek as she held the flower against her chest._

 _"You're so sweet, Hiccup. Just ignore those guys, one day you'll be chief and they'll all have to do what you say." Younger Astrid smiled brightly._

 _"And you too because you'll be by my side because we'll always be together." Hiccup reminded her._

 _Younger Astrid nodded to him as they hugged again. "Forever and always, Hic." The memory faded to black as now she only saw a 10 year old Hiccup standing alone with his head down and crying while Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Stoick, and other faces from the village seemed to push him around, and hurt him, calling him hurtful names. Astrid felt tears in her eyes as she watched this._

 _ **"N–No...stop it, stop hurting him! He never did anything wrong!"**_ _She yelled but no one heard her. Her eyes widened as the others stopped and she as her younger self pushed her way towards the crying Hiccup on the floor. She stood over him while he cried, then he saw her._

 _"I–I knew you'd be here for me, Asty..." Hiccup whimpered. Fear tugged at older Astrid as she watched her younger self kick him again with a grin on her face._

 _"Here for you? Hah, don't make me laugh Haddock." Younger Astrid scoffed._

 _ **"No...no...don't tell him that...you're his friend! You promised him forever and always you'd be his friend!"**_ _Astrid screamed out, again nothing changed._

 _"Bu–but you said...we were friends...friends forever..." Hiccup cried harder._

 _"I'd rather let a dragon take and kill me like they did your mom..." Younger Astrid grinned._

 _"Y–you said we'd...get married and run Be–Berk together..." Hiccup closed his eyes tightly._

 _ **"W–we will! We will Hiccup, don't listen to her...she doesn't mean it...I don't...I didn't mean it..."**_ _Older Astrid cried now._

 _"Marry you! Be friends with you? I can't marry or be friends with someone as weak as you. You're nothing more than a worthless, useless, little hiccup...learn your place loser." Younger Astrid walked away from him. Older Astrid couldn't believe it, they'd been best friends and she hurt him, she hurt him so badly. She fell to her knees crying hard._

 _ **"No...no...I didn't...say those horrible things to him...I didn't...I–I...Oh gods! Hiccup, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it...You are my best friend! I want to marry you and run Berk together as chief and chieftess!...You're not weak...you're not useless or worthless...I didn't...mean those things..."**_ _Astrid slammed her fist in to the ground._

 _The dream changed again to the day she saw him standing on that cliff with slit wrists, she cried harder trying to run to him to stop him. "I–I have...no one. Every...one hates me...I'll never be chief, I'll never be anything more...than a useless hiccup..." She heard him cry._

 _ **"Hiccup! No...No that's not true! You will be chief, you'll be the best chief we've ever had and I'll be there by your side...as your friend, your wife...your chieftess! Just like I promised I would be...forever...and always you and me together! Don't do it...don't jump! Please...please don't leave...I didn't mean those things I said!"**_ _Astrid pleaded but before she could reach him he stepped one foot off the cliff._

 _"I don't...belong here...I'm just...invisible. I'm weak...I have no courage, no strength, no friends...no anything...I don't mean anything to anyone, no one cares about me...they don't need me around...I'm just in the way..." Hiccup cried._

 _ **"You're not invisible, turn around and look at me. I'm right here, just turn around, Hiccup! You have amazing strength and courage! Y–you made the dragons leave us alone, you befriended a dragon! You make amazing weapons! You mean something, Hiccup...to everyone...to me! I care about you, I need you...I–I love...you..."**_ _Astrid froze in her words, did she really just say that? That she loved Hiccup? She did, she did say it and she meant every word._ _ **"I do...gods I do. I love you...I LOVE YOU HICCUP!"**_ _Astrid yelled at him._

 _"You broke your promise...You left me...just like them...Forever and always doesn't exist...sooner or later...everything comes to an end...including life. Goodbye, Astrid..." Hiccup closed his eyes and jumped off the cliff, Astrid felt her heart stop. Astrid screamed out rushing to the edge to look over and see him falling down towards the crashing waves below. Toothless would come, he'd save Hiccup...Astrid watched but Toothless never came, Hiccup landed in the water as the waves pushed him against the jagged rocks of the cliff wall. Astrid dropped to her knees shaking in fear, he...he had done it. It threw himself off the cliff and killed himself and it was her fault._

 **[End Astrid's Dream]**

She awoke with a start, sitting up quickly and panting heavily in a cold sweat as she looked around. The sun was just starting to rise and everyone was still sleeping, she quickly looked at Toothless who had his wings wrapped around Hiccup's figure still. "Astrid...?" Ruffnut asked quietly. "Are you...okay?" She added. Astrid couldn't even find her words, she could barely catch her breath. After Ruffnut talking the others began to wake up seeing her scared and shaking body.

"What is it lass?..." Gobber asked.

Toothless now lifted his head and looked at them, "Too–Toothless...is he...still alive...?" Astrid asked him. Toothless moved his wings so they could see that Hiccup was still laying there, breathing evenly and asleep. His color returned to his face, and there was no new blood on his sleeves, it had all dried. He was okay...he wasn't dead. She leaned against the tree trying to calm herself down but ended up crying in her hands. "Gods I'm such an idiot..." Astrid whimpered.

"What...happened? Did you have a bad dream...?" Fishlegs asked her.

"It was a nightmare..." Astrid kept her eyes covered, she'd never been someone who cried in front of others but she couldn't help this. Her dreams, her nightmare showed her the past, the one where she was Hiccup's best friend then turned on him and ultimately made him kill himself. She knew it wasn't all her fault but she broke her promise to him about being friends forever and more now than before she had to get that friendship back, she had to make it up to him...because she loved him and wanted to be with him.

Before anyone else ask what the nightmare had been about, they heard Hiccup groan lowly and their eyes snapped to his figure beginning to stir in Toothless's front and back legs. Hiccup slowly sat up holding his head before looking around, confusion seemed to come to his face, "Huh...Valhalla looks a lot like Berk..." Hiccup stated calmly.

"Uh...lad...?" Gobber said, Hiccup looked over seeing them there.

"Oh gods...I'm in hell if all of you are here..." He closed his eyes again looking up. "Really! Even in death you stick me with them, what the fuck did I ever do to deserve this punishment!?" Hiccup yelled out.

"Hiccup...you're not dead. You would be if not for Toothless getting out of the cove and leading us to you..." Stoick told him softly.

"He licked your wrists to stop the bleeding, then you fell asleep against him...he kept you warm with his body heat all night..." Fishlegs added.

"Again...REALLY!? You won't let me live or die in peace...I really am friggen useless, I can't even kill myself properly...and I've tried twice! Gods I should of gone with hanging or poisoning myself...would of been faster..." Hiccup forced himself to his feet now, Toothless crooned at him sadly. Hiccup's eyes seemed to soften at his friend, he tried to kill himself again and Toothless had been there. Did that mean that not even Toothless's company was enough for him to stay alive? Toothless began to claw at the ground whining almost, Hiccup looked down unable to look at Toothless.

"Hiccup please...please stop trying to kill yourself...We're here for you, just talk to us..." Astrid pleaded.

"Here for me? Hah! Don't make me laugh, Hofferson." Hiccup snarled at her, she froze instantly at the words. They were almost the same ones from her dream, the ones she said to him. "Why do you care?...Oh that's right, you don't. So why don't you all just leave...and stop worrying about worthless, useless, little loser me. I'm just a hiccup after all..." Hiccup said coldly turning from them.

"No son...we're not leaving again. You told us that you'd be okay if we let you be out here, and that if you had Toothless you would be okay...but you're not." Stoick reached for him.

"Don't fucking touch me." Hiccup warned. Stoick stepped back in shock. Toothless nudged Hiccup's arm now and Hiccup looked at him softly, sadly. Hiccup watched as Toothless began using his claw, as if to draw something but Hiccup soon figured out he was writing words. He was trying to talk to him, and when Toothless finished he pulled his claw away and Hiccup's eyes widened a little reading the words. _"I here 4 u, Hiccup. U not alone. I you best friend, I care. Me no leave u. U no leave me. I back 4 u."_

Toothless warbled sadly at him. Hiccup couldn't believe it, Toothless just wrote to him. Telling him that he was there for him and he wasn't alone, that he was his best friend and cared. And that he wasn't leaving him so he couldn't leave him, that Toothless came back for him. Hiccup felt tears form as he threw his arms around his friend's neck tightly crying uncontrollably now. "Oh Toothless...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I tried to leave you..." Hiccup sobbed. Toothless lifted his paw and hugged Hiccup back crooning.

Toothless started to write again, as Hiccup looked down. _"Don't leave. No handle u gone, I die too."_ Hiccup knew what he meant, if Hiccup left him then he'd kill himself too. "I won't...I won't leave you bud...I promise...I'll never leave you." Hiccup told him. It was rather heartbreaking for them to watch, they wanted to help him but Hiccup didn't want them near him.

"Hiccup please...come back to ta village..." Gobber asked.

Hiccup was about to answer then Toothless wrote one more thing that shocked them all, _"Happy Birthday, Hiccup."_ That did it, Hiccup broke down on the ground crying against his friend. It was the first time in years anyone had ever said it, had wished him a happy birthday and he knew Toothless meant what he said. "Thank you...thank you so much Toothless..." Hiccup replied to him. Stoick went to get close to Hiccup again but Toothless lowered himself on all fours and snarled at them, his body was slightly over Hiccup, protecting him from them.

"He's my son, Toothless...Let me near him." Stoick said, Toothless then wrote something to him. Hiccup moved so he could see it better.

 _"You hurt him, you made him cry. You made him want to die, two times. Father's don't treat their young the way you treated him. Tribes and packs don't treat their members like they don't belong. You stay away from him until he wants to see you or I'll take him away from here and give him a real home...Only warning."_ Hiccup translated.

"Y–you can't take him...you can't fly without him!" Astrid protested quickly.

Toothless wiped the previous words with his paw and started again. _"And what makes you think he doesn't want to leave, all he has to do is give me the word to leave."_ Hiccup said as he looked at Toothless now, "Yo–you'd do that for me if I asked?..." Hiccup asked softly. Toothless nodded to him then wrote, _"Do you want to leave this place?"_

"No! Hiccup don't leave...please..." Astrid begged.

"Then leave me alone...Stop trying to get me to come back, stop trying to help me, and stop telling me what to do..." Hiccup glared.

"I'm your father, Hiccup...and I want you to come back home...I'm not asking anymore." Stoick said firmly.

"You don't get to tell me what to do, my father can. And you're not my father...You might of been a long time ago until I was like 3 but you haven't been since. You've been my chief, and a shitty one at that. What kind of chief allows the tribe he's protecting to turn on their own. You're no better than them and just because we're related...doesn't make you family, not to me. Family are those who stick by you, help you, defend you, protect you...And on those points...Toothless is my family because he's the only one who cares. Now go away...just leave me alone...you've done enough." Hiccup looked away from them.

"Please...please consider coming back lad...I miss ya and my orders are getting backed up...No one can sharpen or fix a weapon as fast as you can..." Gobber asked calmly.

"The problem is...I can't even begin to consider coming back or forgiving anyone because every time I turn around, I get hurt again. How can I heal if it never stops and keeps coming from all of you...That's why I said to leave me alone and give me my time...You want me to be part of the tribe, but you still can't show me you know how to act like one. Snotlout said you can be the tribe I want to be apart of...the truth of the matter is this...I always wanted to be a part of the tribe and none of you ever let me, you were the ones who didn't want me in it." Hiccup turned his head from them.

"B–but we've changed Hiccup...we want you in the tribe...we're sorry for how we treated you, we know it was wrong. We all feel bad and just want a second chance to make it right..." Ruffnut chimed in.

"And about last night...we never thought you couldn't handle yourself with the dragons...that was all Stoick. We were glad when you came...because we know you know how to handle it...I know you said as a tribe, we all suffer for what happened. We're not saying you're wrong...but don't punish those of us who are actually trying to make up for what we did..." Fishlegs added.

"Think about it lad...come to ta village t'day, some of us really miss yew..." Gobber said softer.

Hiccup was silent a few moments as he looked at Toothless who started to write, _"They hurt you, not me. Its your choice, whatever you choose...I will stand by you...but if they hurt you again, I swear to Odin I'll start living up to my name of being the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself who never misses his target..."_ Hiccup couldn't help but laugh a little nodding.

"So...is that a yes?" Tuffnut asked.

"Fine...I'll come for a little while. After breakfast, and my flight with Toothless..." Hiccup sighed.

"YES!" They cheered.

"This does not mean I've forgiven you...I'm coming by to help Gobber catch up...that's it." Hiccup added quickly forcing their happiness away again. "I'll be by in 2 hours..." Hiccup told them as he got on Toothless's back and positioned his feet in the stirrups and opened the tail up. Toothless dove off the point then whipped around as they returned to the cove.

"Well...it's a start, we got him to agree to come to the village today..." Astrid sighed.

"Yeah...but now he thinks he has to help Gobber catch up on a mountain of work..." Tuffnut stated.

"Well lets...give him some work then. Find old swords, shield, daggers...purposely break them...go mess up the weaponry...The more work he has, the longer he'll stay. But for now...we gotta get back...he said he'd be by in 2 hours and its going to take an hour or so to get back to the village from here. Stoick...you have to tell everyone to casually, calmly, and nicely approach Hiccup at random, and ask how he is, its his birthday...lets show him how much we care, that we can be a tribe, that we remembered...that he matters to us. If he can't see change, he won't ever forgive us..." Ruffnut suggested.

With them in agreement they began making their way down the point and past the cove, they peeked in to see Hiccup making a fire and cooking some fish over it while Toothless ate a pile of his own. They saw the dragon peer up but the quickly rushed away to get back to the village. Meanwhile, Hiccup sighed heavily cooking his fish. "I want to believe them, Toothless...but I just don't know if I can...every time I try...they show me nothing has changed." Hiccup mumbled.

He heard scratching in the dirt as he looked to see Toothless writing something, when he was done Hiccup nodded. "Yeah...I feel like their just acting..." Hiccup looked back to his fish. "I'm glad you don't lie to me...and I'm sorry about last night...I never wanted to cut...but I just did it without thinking and when I felt the numbness set it...I couldn't stop...Thank you for saving me...again." Hiccup told him.

Toothless started to write and he looked over to read it, _"I am not mad at you, I know what the chief said hurt you...but if I hadn't gotten out and showed them where you were...you might not be here right now. You forget I can't get out of the cove without you...the only reason I got out was because I had a good running start and clawed my way out."_ Hiccup nodded, now he understood how Toothless got out and made it to him.

"I won't do it again...I–I don't want to die, Toothless I just...didn't want to feel the pain anymore, and I felt like there was no other way out...That death was the only way..." Hiccup looked down sadly. Toothless cleared the area he was writing in and began once more. _"You don't have to feel that way again, I'm here for you and I always will be. I promise. If you ever feel like you have no other way out...talk to me. I know I can't talk back...but I can write and I will always listen to you and do what I can to make you remember that at least one person still cares about you and wants you here, and that is me."_ Hiccup smiled now as he leaned on Toothless.

"You really are the best friend I've ever had, Toothless." Hiccup said softly, Toothless licked the side of his face then they both started to eat their breakfast calmly, afterwards they grabbed a few things and went out to enjoy their flight. It was their favorite thing to do in the morning, fly in the cool breeze as the sun was rising just before the sky changed from sunrise to blue sky. It was a sight to see and best seen while on the back of your best friend soaring high above in the clouds.


	9. Defend

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 9.

While Hiccup and Toothless were flying the village was heard at work preparing everything, the hall was being decorated and the food being cooking. Stoick already made the announcement to approach Hiccup carefully because he had tried to kill himself again the night before but to say hi, smile, talk to him if they passed him. Others had purposely broken their weapons and made it seem like the forge was way behind so he'd have a reason to stay longer and when lunch time came they would hopefully get him in the hall so surprise him with a birthday party.

"You think this will work?" Snotlout asked walking with his friends.

"I dunno...But its worth trying, it's a step in the right direction if nothing else...He'll see that we haven't forgotten and are trying...And sometimes that's enough..."Astrid said softly as she headed towards her house.

"Where are you going, he'll be here any minute..." Tuffnut asked.

"There's...something I have to do first...I'll catch up..." Astrid jogged off, she had to get something from her house and she had to pray it was still there. Something Hiccup had given her a long time ago, that represented their friendship. If she still had it, she might have a chance to get in his good graces again. She had to try.

(With Hiccup&Toothless)

"I guess we should be getting back...Still feeling weak from last night bud..." Hiccup said softly, Toothless nodded understanding as they turned from where they were and headed back to Berk. "You know I can't shake the feeling that something is gonna happen there..." Hiccup mumbled, Toothless crooned at him. "I guess we'll find out won't we..." Hiccup smiled as they continued heading in the direction of Berk.

(Berk)

"There they are!" Stoick pointed to the sky seeing Hiccup and Toothless heading towards them. "Remember...let him go to the forge...We'll show him that we want him here...need him here." Stoick reminded them as they all began to clap.

In air, Hiccup watched closely. He was already getting a bad feeling this was much more than him being needed in the forge but whatever. "Wanna try the move bud?" Hiccup asked him, Toothless crooned smiling. Hiccup and him shot straight up past the clouds then leveled out flying back in to sight.

"What's he doing?..." Fishlegs asked. They saw Hiccup take his feet off the stirrups then jump off Toothless's back doing a back flip.

"YEEHAW!" Hiccup cheered as he headed down head first, Toothless dived following him. As they were free falling, Toothless used his paw to push Hiccup and spin him around in the air then both closed their eyes and enjoyed it. After a few minutes Toothless closed his wings more to get under Hiccup who spread his legs and landed on the saddle safely reopening the tail and they set down on the main road by the teens, Stoick, and Gobber. "Yes! We nailed it bud..." Hiccup threw his fist in the air triumphantly.

"Doing tricks are ya now lad?" Gobber asked.

"Every now and then..." Hiccup shrugged with a smile. "So where's this massive workload you are backed up on..." Hiccup asked.

"Right to work as always, it's all in the forge, 'Iccup..." Gobber told him calmly. Hiccup nodded as he motioned for Toothless to follow him and they began walking towards the forge. The teens broke off and followed slowly behind to watch him. Reaching the forge 10 minutes later Hiccup pushed open the doors and saw the piles of broken, cracked weapons, few shields and what now.

"Well guess I better get started then..." Hiccup sighed as he grabbed the apron sitting on the hook and put it over his head then tied the back strings. He started with the easiest things which were daggers, bolas, and shields, while working on a bola he saw someone come to the window and noticed Gobber wasn't there to handle it. Hiccup rolled his eyes and walked over, "Can I help you?" Hiccup asked the villager.

"Hello, Hiccup...was wondering if you weren't too busy if you could give this a sharpen for me?" Asked the woman.

"Sure, I'll have it out in a few minutes..." Hiccup nodded taking the sword from her and heading towards the grinding wheel. Hiccup pressed the pedal a few times to get it spinning fast before resting the sword on it and working one side up and down along the length of the blade.

"How have you been?" The woman asked with a smile.

At first Hiccup looked up to see if someone else had by to talk to her but she was talking to him it turned out, "Fine I guess..." Hiccup shrugged. "Yourself?" He replied.

"Oh wonderful, keeping busy with the kids. You know how 5 year olds can be..." The woman responded.

"Full of energy and no outlet for it...Give them a hobby, collecting things or have them help with chores. Keeps em busy and focused. That's what I did...in here at least..." Hiccup told her while he flipped the sword to do the other side.

"I'll have to give that a try, thank you for the idea." The woman smiled at him, Hiccup finished the sword and wiped it off with his apron before handing it back to her, she dropped two gold pieces in to his hand. "Thank you, Hiccup. Amazing work as always." The woman said as she bowed her head to him and headed off. It left Hiccup a little surprised to say the least, she actually talked to him and listened to his minor advice about her kids, then payed and thanked him for his work.

"Weird..." Hiccup said to Toothless who only shrugged a little and then he went back to work. He kept at this for a few hours without a break, it was hot in the forge working with the fire and tools. Toothless was just laying right outside the door relaxing. The day only got weirder in those hours too, people were constantly coming to him for little repairs they could of done themselves but wanted him too do it, they'd talk to him, be friendly and smiling. And what was more strange, Gobber wasn't in the forge at all. Just Hiccup working on everything himself.

As lunch time rolled up, Hiccup took off his apron and moved all finished work to the cart to take in to the village to hand everything back out to the customers. "Come on bud...lets drop this stuff off and we'll take a fly..." Hiccup smiled as he went to stand in front of the two handles on the cart and lifted it up with a small grunt, his arms were still hurting and sore from last night so he didn't have his usual strength but he pressed on hauling it through town to where most of the people were gathered. Hiccup was sweating as he slipped and dropped the cart falling face first. "Fuck..." He groaned.

What he didn't expect was Snotlout and Fishlegs to rush over and help him up, "Hiccup...are you okay?" Fishlegs asked him.

"Yeah...I'm fine. Slipped is all, I forget how heavy that cart can get when full..." Hiccup mumbled.

"I bet but you got it here all the way from the forge, that's pretty impressive cuz. Let us help ya out, come on Legs..." Snotlout said as he took a side and Fishlegs got the other one.

"Um...Thanks but really...I can handle it..." Hiccup protested slightly.

"Nonsense, let us help...you did enough work by fixing everything and bringing it. We can at least walk it a few more steps so you can get a break." Fishlegs smiled. Okay now it was officially weird, no one ever helped him before. Not saying he didn't appreciate it because his arms and legs hurt like hell from all the forge work he'd done the last 3 ½ hours fixing everything. Reaching the main area, the boys dropped the cart and everyone began to come over smiling.

"Wow that was fast..." Someone said.

"And so efficient." Another added.

"We're lucky to have such a skilled blacksmith among us."

"Guys really...come on. I'm not...the blacksmith here, Gobber is...I'm just helping out..." Hiccup said quickly.

"He'll be a great chief in a few years when Stoick retires." Hiccup heard Astrid's mother say.

"I know right, I can't wait. He'll be one of the best chief's Berk has ever had." Someone else said.

"And it just keeps getting weirder..." Hiccup mumbled under his breath.

"Alright alright don't crowd the man, you'll get your stuff as Hiccup hands it out..." Snotlout pushed a few people back.

"Snotlout...its okay..." Hiccup told him, Snotlout nodded with a bow. Yeah he was officially freaked out now and wanted to get out of here and fast, he needed air as in flying on Toothless air. Hiccup slowly began to hand things out to people and they'd all shake his hand, bow, and smile.

"Berk is indebted to you, Hiccup."

"What...No...No one is...indebted to me...I'm just doing my job..." Hiccup protested.

"You'll make a fine chief in 3 years." Said someone else. Everyone complimented him in some way or another, he was getting overwhelmed and didn't pay attention to where his hand was going and ran his palm and wrist over a dagger that had been left pointing upward. He hissed in pain pulling his hand back quickly and holding it tightly.

"Hiccup...Are you okay?" Ruffnut asked him, Hiccup pulled his hand away and looked at the cut. Already he was bleeding badly, he stared at it a few seconds before snapping out of it and tearing his tunic sleeve and wrapping his wrist and hand with it.

"Yeah...Yeah I'm fine...Just wasn't paying attention is all." Hiccup replied calmly, gods it stung too. Stoick rushed over having heard Hiccup got hurt and knelt beside him worried.

"Son...I heard you got cut...Are you alright, let me see..." Stoick asked quickly.

"Oh my Gods, it was a friggen accident and I wasn't paying attention. I'm fine! I'm not going to break and shatter whenever I get hurt! Just back off and let me breathe for 5 seconds...Toothless!" Hiccup called, his dragon pushed his way through and Hiccup climbed on his back. "Get me out of here...Now please..." Hiccup begged holding on to the saddle and opening the tail. Toothless roared and shot towards the sky before anyone could tell him to wait.

"You think we over did it?" Fishlegs asked now.

"Might have...we got too worried over an accident, and the constant compliments, and what not...it was on his face that he was getting overwhelmed with all the attention on him." Stoick sighed.

"Now what?" Gobber asked.

"We wait for him to get back...And when he does we have to back off a little and act normal..." Stoick replied, everyone nodded and began to disperse to return to what they were doing. Flying high above the clouds and out of sight now, Hiccup took a deep breath to relax.

"Ugh...I knew something was off...They purposely broke those weapons and damaged them to get me to come back to the village and be there a while...they're trying to show me they want me here, that they need me...Gods how did I not see it earlier...There was no way those weapons could of been so badly damaged unless there was a raid and I know for a fact there wasn't..." Hiccup sighed heavily, Toothless crooned at him sadly. "I'm not...mad, I'm glad they found a way to get me in the village by having me do something I like without pressuring me...Its just...I don't know...I'm over thinking this..." Hiccup mumbled.

They landed in a grassy field as Hiccup got off him and said down unwrapping his wound and looking at it, it was still bleeding slowly. Toothless warbled and licked it for him, Hiccup gave him a smile. "Thanks bud..." Hiccup told him as he laid back in the grass with his hands behind his head and staring up at the sky. "What am I gonna do, Toothless...I want to forgive them, I really do I just...every time I get close I get reminded of why I can't trust them, like I'm afraid they'll just hurt me again..." Hiccup closed his eyes as he felt Toothless lay beside him and croon.

Hiccup and Toothless laid there silently watching the clouds float by for close to 30 minutes before he started getting hungry, "We should probably get back to the cove to eat...I don't feel like staying here longer, I'll finish the work tomorrow or something..." Hiccup told Toothless softly sitting up now and looking down at the village square, he noticed people starting to back up slowly as if they were afraid. "Huh...what's going on down there?..." Hiccup asked as he stood up and began walking down, Toothless following him.

Hiccup spotted the docks where there were Berserker ships there, he wasn't aware of a meeting. The Berserker tribe and the Hooligan's had a treaty meeting every 2 years, why were they here now? "I don't like this...Toothless, stay hidden until I know what's going on...I promise I'll call if I get in to trouble..." Hiccup told him rubbing his head, Toothless nudged him to look farther out. Hiccup looked and saw more ships coming, all Berserker tribe ships, "Its an ambush...and they have no idea yet...Come on bud...we got work to do. To the forest, quietly..." Hiccup told him as he got on his back and they sped off.

(The Forest)

Once in the forest, Hiccup was able to see better what was going on from Raven point. Berserkers were docking around back the island and using the forest as cover waiting on a signal to attack was Hiccup's guess. "No one attacks Berk on my watch..." Hiccup glared as he rushed down the path, jumped in the cove and grabbed a sword, a handful of daggers he put in his belt, then two doubled sided axes hooked to his back, finally a shield over his back.

Hiccup got on Toothless's back again as they flew out of the cove and headed over the trees silently seeing where the ambush crew was and how they planned to attack. "I see now...Good thing I brought rope and nets...I've counted about 100 men in the forest so far, the rest haven't arrived. "Lets stop this before the signal goes off..." Hiccup grinned. They landed as Hiccup began setting up a line of nets that the Berserkers would run right in to. He knew it wouldn't hold them long but it'd be enough for him to get the upper hand.

"Alright bud...lets scare em..." Hiccup said as Toothless crouched so Hiccup could get on his back, then they flew over head blasting at the men to make them run. They went straight for the nets as Hiccup anticipated, the traps triggered and caught a good amount of the tribe. Hiccup landed and pulled his two axes from his back fighting off the rest, he didn't kill them just knock them out and leave the rest hanging.

"What the...Oh Dagur isn't going to be pleased about this..." One of the men said, Hiccup jumped on Toothless's back with a grin.

"Ambushing my home wasn't a smart move...I saw you from 5 miles away, if you don't want to get hurt I suggest you get going..." Hiccup warned as Toothless fired a blast at their feet making them back up. They rushed out of the forest as Toothless chased them out with Hiccup on his back. While this was going on, Stoick was talking to Dagur and had just found out that he was the chief who wanted to go over terms of the treaty.

"Dagur, I settled this with yer father last year...you came with no warning, the terms haven't changed." Stoick stated sighing.

"Oh come on, Stoick...I've been going around to every tribe to check the treaties, it won't take long." Dagur said.

"Fine...but lets hurry this up. It's my son's 16th birthday and we're throwing him a party..." Stoick began to lead Dagur towards the hall. Dagur went to raise his sword to Stoick's back when a an axe whipped through the air and landed in front of Dagur making him jump back, Stoick turned around to see Dagur with his sword out and then the axe embedded in the ground. Toothless landed with Hiccup as he got off and pulled the axe from the ground with an almost deadly glare in his eyes.

Hi–Hiccup...what's going on here...?" Stoick asked quickly now very confused.

"Dagur isn't here to talk about the treaty, he's here to ambush Berk and when you're back was turned he was going to cut you down..." Hiccup stated coldly.

"Yo–you saved me?" Stoick questioned.

"Of course I did...You're my father and no matter how much you or these people have hurt me...Its not going to stop me from standing up and protecting this tribe..." Hiccup glared.

"You can't stop this Hiccup...BERSERKERS, ATTACK!" Dagur yelled out. Nothing happened. "I said ATTACK!" Dagur ordered looking towards the forest to see his men rushing out in fear towards the docks. "What the hell happened!" Dagur yelled angrily.

One of his men who was carrying another unconscious one coughed a few times, "That kid ambushed our ambush sir...He ran us in to a line of net traps, then fought us with dual blades...we couldn't take him and his dragon..." At this there were a few gasps from the village who had formed a crowd, Astrid pushed her way to the front.

"You're telling me a 16 year old defeated 100 men on his own!? For Thor's sake he's a twig!" Dagur exclaimed.

"Hey, we aren't making it up! You don't believe us, fight him yourself..." Another man coughed as the men continued towards the boats. Dagur glared at Hiccup now who pulled his second axe and took a stance.

"Oh I'm going to enjoy this a lot more than I should..." Dagur said raising his sword to strike, Hiccup brought his axe up to block it and while his mid section was exposed Hiccup kicked Dagur back a few feet. Dagur recovered and got up fuming, he charged again as Hiccup dodged left making Dagur stumble when he missed.

"I don't want to fight you, Dagur...But I will if its necessary..." Hiccup warned.

"You got lucky, Hiccup! You can't fight, you never could!" Dagur yelled punching Hiccup in the stomach making him keel over in pain.

"HICCUP! Don't fight him, his armada won't fight...they are afraid. Dagur can't win..." Astrid said worried. Hiccup stood up again panting as he saw Dagur pull his daggers and start throwing them at him, Hiccup slammed his axes in to the ground and pulled his shield to block them, then he used it to throw at Dagur and knock him back. Hiccup pulled his sword as he and Dagur went at it again for a good 15 minutes before Hiccup got thrown down and forced on his knees panting, Dagur brought the sword up smirking.

"Still a useless little hiccup..." Dagur said bringing the sword down, Hiccup raised his arm and blocked the sword making Dagur blink in shock and surprise. Hiccup pushed Dagur back then pulled his sleeve back to reveal a hidden dagger strapped to his arm, "Wh–what the...hell! When did you learn to fight...?" Dagur sputtered out.

Hiccup got to his feet slowly and opened his eyes, "I didn't learn to fight...I just got sick and tired of being weak and useless..." Hiccup said calmly as he pulled the daggers behind him in his belt and threw them at Dagur making him drop his sword, when he was distracted with that, Hiccup rushed him by elbowing his stomach making his gasp out then spun around and punched him in the face. One final move that he used was Hiccup crouching down, sweeping behind Dagur's legs and making him fall flat on his back.

Dagur opened his eyes as Hiccup grabbed both axes from the ground and brought them down, Dagur closed his eyes waiting for death but it never came. He looked to see both axes in the ground crossed over his neck but the blades only inches from the left or right side of his neck. Hiccup stepped on his chest and pointed the sword to his jugular making Dagur gulp in fear with wide eyes. "Wh–why didn't you kill me?...I tried to ambush the island, and kill your father...Why...won't you finish me off?..." Dagur asked.

"Because I'm not like you, Dagur." Hiccup said in a cold voice. "Yes. I should kill you for attacking my home, and my tribe..." Hiccup paused hearing a few people gasp, "But I'm not like you, and killing you would make me like you, it would change who I am. I am many things...but I am not a killer. Now you are going to get on your ship and leave...You've been defeated, as have your men...and if I ever see you here again...I won't hesitate. Now get the fuck off my island and don't ever come back. This is your only warning, Dagur." Hiccup ordered.

"I–I understand...I won't...bother you again..." Dagur said to him nodding. Hiccup pulled back the sword, then removed the two axes returning them to his back. Dagur got up slowly and walked away with his head down and very much defeated, Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest angrily.

"No one attacks my home, my island, my people and gets away with it, Dagur. I will always stand and defend them. Because that is what a tribe does, what the chief does...because a chief protects his own. And you can bet your life that whether I'm chief or not...I will protect them all." Hiccup remarked as he watched Dagur return to the docks and he and his men sailed away out of sight. Toothless crooned beside him and licked his cheek, Hiccup slowly turned from the direction of the water and faced his father, and tribe who were standing there in shock.

"Hiccup...You just..." Astrid began.

"I know what I did and I know what I said, Astrid." Hiccup said in response as he dropped his arms.

"You're hurt lad..." Gobber pointed to Hiccup's body.

Hiccup looked down to see his side bleeding through his tunic, his arm was cut, as well some scrapes on his face. He was sure he had some bruising too but it didn't phase him at the moment. "I'm fine...I'll heal." Hiccup stated.

"How did...you know they were ambushing us?...How did you take on 100 Berserkers by yourself?..." Fishlegs asked still in shock.

"Is it imperative that you know right now?" Hiccup rolled his eyes, they nodded to him. "Fine...Hall then." Hiccup told them. The others nodded again and began heading towards the great hall while Hiccup got on Toothless as they flew to the hall on their own, he waited outside for them. He sighed heavily holding his right side where he was still bleeding, he went through a bag on Toothless's saddle and pulled out some wrappings and ointments. Hiccup lifted his shirt up and applied the ointment, then wrapped the wound. Next he took care of the one on his arm before leaning against the hall wall with his eyes closed.

This was going to be a long day and given what he'd said during the fight and afterwards, he knew they weren't going to let him go back to the cove until he explained his sudden wisdom and protection of them. "Guess we're gonna be in the village a while bud..." Hiccup smiled weakly. He saw Toothless start writing with his claw, _"Are you okay?"_ Hiccup nodded to him. "Just...really tired..." Hiccup responded, just as everyone was reaching the hall everything went black around him and he fell unconscious on the ground.


	10. Gift Of Forgiveness

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 10.

Distant voices was something he'd begun to hear as he softly groaned before opening his eyes, he saw shadows at first but then blinking a few times their faces became clear. First he saw Astrid, then beside her his father. As it came more in to focus he saw Gobber and the other teens followed by the village. He couldn't see them all just that they were close by, he recognized the place he was in and that would be the hall. He'd blacked out right after the fight with Dagur. His body hurt in places he didn't know it could, it felt heavy and ached tremendously.

"Hiccup! You're awake...thank Thor..." Astrid said softly, worry clear in her tone.

"H–how long...have I been out?" Hiccup forced himself to try and sit up but he winced at the stomach pain where the injury on his side was.

"Do–don't move a lot...You'll open your wounds again." Astrid informed him.

"No I...won't...my ointment...is made from Toothless's saliva..." He coughed a few times looking around now seeing everyone was almost in a circle around him. "Have you all...just been standing here waiting for me to wake up?" Hiccup asked.

"Aye son...we were worried about you..." Stoick nodded.

"Yew passed out after landing by the hall with Toothless laddie..." Gobber now added.

"How long was I out?" Hiccup asked his question again.

"Few hours..." Ruffnut answered, Hiccup looked around and didn't see Toothless and panic quickly washed over his face.

"Too–Toothless...! Where's Toothless..." Hiccup asked quickly.

"Hey hey...it's okay...He's right outside." Astrid responded as someone opened the doors to the hall and the Night Fury bounded in to his human's side whimpering with worry and licking his face.

"He–hey bud...I'm okay, its okay see...Just took on a lot at once, haven't given my body time to heal from everything..." Hiccup told him as he rubbed the top of his head softly while Toothless purred nuzzling his face. Finally after a moment or two, Toothless settled down and sat beside Hiccup on the stone floor of the hall.

"Y–you sure...you're okay?" Astrid asked him. Hiccup nodded to her and it was now he noticed the decorated hall, the food laid out and more.

"What's...all this?" Hiccup asked looking around then saw the tribe slowly look guilty and sad.

"I–it was...a party for you, Hiccup...We planned a birthday party for you, its...why we wanted you in the village today, to show you we didn't forget...and that we care." Snotlout explained. Hiccup's eyes widened a little, they...tricked him in to the village to celebrate his birthday.

"So all those weapons...you broke them on purpose to get me here?" Hiccup asked, they nodded slowly to him.

"We understand if you don't want to celebrate...you took on a fleet of Berserkers by yourself, you look exhausted son." Stoick informed him calmly. "And...thank you for saving me, saving the village...I never would have seen Dagur's attack comin from behind, if it weren't for you...I'd be dead right now." Stoick added with his head down in a bow to Hiccup.

"Please...don't bow to me. I just did...what anyone would do...I saw an attack coming so I stopped it." Hiccup shrugged.

"Hiccup you...did so much more. You...stopped an ambush, saved your dad...and fought Dagur to protect us." Astrid exclaimed.

"We never would of survived an ambush of that size...We'd all be dead or hurt right now if it weren't for you..." Fishlegs interjected.

"You saved us...by yourself." Snotlout said.

"I only knew it was coming because Toothless saw the ships sailing behind the island towards the forest...I didn't want to start a panic so I took care of it myself..." Hiccup told them.

"Hiccup you dual wielded double headed axes, a sword, a shield, and daggers as if you'd been fighting your whole life...None of us...know how to dual wield..." Stoick told him.

"Its...really not that hard. I know Dagur plays tricks when he fights, so I wanted to be ready for anything. I don't know how to fight guys...I never have, I guess seeing that everyone could die or be hurt...instinct to protect kicked in, I was fighting on adrenaline...and when that wore off after the fight my body gave out on me." Hiccup mumbled as he slowly got up and stretched, cracking his neck, back, arms and legs.

"So I take it your leaving again?" Gobber asked him.

"Actually no...I was just stretching because my body feels like I've been sleeping in a box for a week. I'll leave again before it gets dark..." Hiccup retorted.

"Hiccup...If I can ask...Did...you mean all you said to Dagur?" Astrid asked him.

"Said what?" Hiccup asked curiously.

"That no matter what we've done to you...you'd still protect us...and this was your tribe and no would would get away with hurting us?..." Gobber questioned now.

"I never say anything I don't mean. Yes, I meant it. No matter what I do in life...Berk will always be my home and all of you will still be my tribe. So regardless of what I went through...I will still protect this island and the people residing on it." Hiccup stated firmly looking at them with serious eyes. "A chief protects his own. Whether I'm the chief or not...I will still defend this place as if I was. Because its my birthright, and I won't let my home, my island, or my people fall." Hiccup added as Toothless nuzzled his cheek.

"You're a good man, Hiccup...thank you for what you did." Astrid said softly. Hiccup only nodded to her,

"W–well its still...your birthday, and you're here...do you...wanna celebrate it?" Fishlegs asked curiously, it went silent a few minutes as Hiccup looked at them and then finally gave a soft smile.

"You know something...I'd...really like that." Hiccup replied gently.

"Well then its party time!" Someone in the back shouted.

"Happy birthday!" The rest yelled together and for once Hiccup was happy. They'd gone through all the trouble to set up a surprise party for him, tricked him in to coming to the village...and yet they still wanted to celebrate his birthday after everything. Was this what it felt like to be wanted? He'd never known the feeling before and if this was that feeling, he really liked it.

(5:30 At Night)

They'd been partying for an hour and 30 minutes now and everything was going great. Hiccup was laughing and having a good time with everyone, they all talked with him as he told his tale of realizing the Berserker's were there to trick and ambush Berk. He told them how he went to the cove to get his weapons, then set up traps, fought the ones who didn't get caught and then forcing all the men to run out in fear. Hiccup explained how he saw from the sky Dagur preparing to cut Stoick down and threw his axe to stop it.

No one could of believed it however they'd all seen it with their own eyes Hiccup taking on Dagur by himself, and they'd seen the men fleeing the forest with fear. No one expected him to be so capable of doing such things and it was now more clear than before Hiccup was certainly not useless. Toothless stayed by Hiccup's side through out the part until he noticed Hiccup getting tired, so he nudged him to make him look at the ground where he was writing, "You are tired my friend, perhaps an early night?"

"Awe bud but...I'm having so much fun..." Hiccup replied to him. Toothless started again, "You don't have too, I just to make sure your body heals up right. You've been going non stop since yesterday..." Toothless wrote. "I know, we'll go in a little while okay?" Hiccup smiled as Toothless nodded. Hiccup watched Astrid approach him now and give a soft smile.

"So you're enjoying the party?" Astrid asked him.

"Yeah...I am. A–are you?" Hiccup asked her.

"I'm just happy that...you're happy, Hiccup. We were...afraid you might just leave when you found out we lured you in to the village by saying Gobber needed your help in the forge..." Astrid said bashfully.

"It was a smart choice..." Hiccup told her making her eyes widen a bit, "I wouldn't have come if you hadn't used it. Good to know that people remember that the forge is probably my favorite place on Berk besides the cove...It felt good to work on the weapons again, and have people like what I did..." Hiccup gave a soft smile.

"I–I got you something..." Astrid said looking down gently.

"Y–you didn't have to get me anything, Astrid...seriously, the party is more than enough..." Hiccup replied quickly but he watched Astrid pull out a small journal and hand it to him, he stared at it a few seconds before opening the cover up and seeing a dried out, pressed purple flower past the main cover. His eyes widened now as he looked at her with shock. "Where did...you get this?" Hiccup asked slowly.

"I–I've...always had it...since I was about 4...It's...the one you gave me..." Astrid replied shakily not knowing he would respond. Hiccup just stared at it for a while then looked back at her.

"I–I gave this to you, Astrid...why are you giving it back?" Hiccup questioned.

"Because...I wanted to show you...that I remembered, that even through all the times...I gave you trouble...I never got rid of this flower, it's the first one you ever gave me when we were kids...and I have all the others ones too...pressed in a book at home. I wanted you to know...how sorry I am for turning on you when we were 10, Hiccup. I was...an idiot, a fool to let go of such an amazing friendship...I remembered everything." Astrid said trying to keep from crying.

"Astrid...you don't...have to apologize to me...I get why you stopped...I was a loser, a nobody..." Hiccup closed his eyes.

"Hiccup don't talk like that! No you're not...I showed you this...because I want you to know that I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you...and I'll anything to have this back again, the friendship we had with this flower. You used to bring me one every week...for 6 years...I–I want that back. I want...my Hic back, my best friend." Astrid said lightly.

Hiccup seemed to sighed as he closed the book and gave it back to her, "I don't know if we can ever be like that again, Astrid...You were...more than my best friend. You were my crush, the girl I liked and wanted to be with...wanted to marry and have beside me when I'm chief..." Hiccup told her.

"Then I won't stop until I'm that girl again, Hiccup. I promise you that right now...I'll be that girl again because I want to be–..." She felt Hiccup put a hand to her mouth to make her be quiet.

"Come outside with me? I want to show you something..." Hiccup said calmly, she nodded and they turned to walk out, Toothless following them.

"Where ya going lad and lass?" Gobber asked, Hiccup faced him calmly.

"Just for a walk, need a little fresh air is all. We'll be back soon..." Hiccup told him with a smile before they left so no one else could stop them. Once outside in the setting sun, Hiccup climbed on Toothless's back and positioned his feet then he turned to face Astrid and offered his hand to her.

"Wh–what are you doing...you said you wanted to show me something..." Astrid asked a little bewildered by his action.

"I am going to show you something...we need to fly to see it. Climb on..." Hiccup told her.

"I–I don't know about this...is Toothless going to let me?..." Astrid blinked a little nervously.

"Yes he will, now come on or we'll miss it." Hiccup urged, not wanting to upset him she took his hand and pulled her up behind him. "Do you trust me, Astrid?" Hiccup asked.

"I trust you." Astrid nodded.

"Then hold on tight." Hiccup smiled as he clicked Toothless's tail open, Astrid quickly wrapped her arms around his waist when Toothless launched from the ground and took to the sky. Astrid buried her face in his back with her eyes closed in fear while Hiccup looked back at her, "Alright bud...level out..." Hiccup rubbed his head, Toothless adjusted his wings and flew in a glide just below the cloud barrier. "Astrid...open your eyes and look..." Hiccup whispered to her. Astrid slowly opened her eyes and looked around, her eyes widening in shock at the sight.

She couldn't believe how high up they were, she carefully let go of Hiccup's waist and sat up running her hand through the white, soft clouds and smiled wide at the feeling. She could...touch the clouds, Hiccup took her flying with him so she could feel what it felt like to fly so high in the sky. "This is...amazing..." Astrid gasped out. The view of the sun setting was breathtaking from this point in the sky, Astrid loved it. She had never in her life seen something so beautiful.

"Yeah, its pretty cool right...I do this every night around sunset...you think touching the clouds is amazing, just wait until you see this...take us up bud." Hiccup told his friend, Toothless warbled in delight and flew up through the clouds and Astrid had to hold on tightly again as they went straight up, when they broke through the clouds Astrid gasped at the sight. It the clear, night sky above them,

"Oh my...gods..." She breathed out.

"You ain't seen nothing yet...look right over there..." Hiccup said as he pointed to a spot on the left of them.

"I–I don't see anything, Hiccup..." Astrid stated slowly trying to figure out what he was telling her to look at.

"Just...give it a minute..." Hiccup chuckled, she watched closely then her eyes widened at what she saw. The Northern Lights were right beside them, she lied...this was breathtaking.

"Hiccup this is...I don't have the words to describe it...You do this every night?" Astrid asked him.

"Beautiful right?...This is the view I get every night before I go to sleep, to remind me that though its hidden by clouds it is still always there. That not everything is always as it seems when you first look at it, it...reminds me of myself. Everyone thought I was weak, useless, worthless...just a Hiccup but no one knew what was beyond that until today that is...Now everyone has seen the truth, and I show you this to make sure you remember that not everything is always so plain to see and when you look hard enough...there is a lot more to be seen. I've always been able to do the things I do now, but no one noticed looked past my twig-ness to ever see it." Hiccup said softly.

Astrid put her arms around his waist again gently and rested her head on his shoulder smiling. "I'll never forget, Hiccup..." Astrid said lightly. "Thank you for showing me this..." Astrid added as they flew over Berk now, it was amazing to see from above.

"You're welcome, ready to go back?" Hiccup asked her.

"I–I was hoping we could talk more...if you want too that is?..." Astrid asked him.

"I'd like that, we'll go to the cove..." Hiccup nodded as he directed Toothless that way towards Raven point, after 5 minutes they landed safely and he got off Toothless and then helped Astrid down. "Go on and relax bud, there's a basket of fish in the shack for you." Hiccup rubbed his head while he warbled and headed towards the shack. "We're going for a walk alright, we'll be back later." Hiccup smiled to him, Toothless nodded as Hiccup now headed out of the cove with Astrid following.

Now they walked in the forest together silently. "Hiccup I...I really am sorry for everything. I never...wanted to hurt you and for the life of me...I can't figure out why I ever..." Astrid trailed off sadly.

"Astrid. It was in the past, and what happened did happen no matter how much you regret it now." Hiccup told her. "You were afraid." Hiccup added making her look over at him with a little shock.

"What...do you mean?" Astrid asked.

"We were best friends until we were 10, people started giving me trouble when I was 8 and in those two years you saw everyone turned on me...even the other teens, and my father. And you were afraid that if you stayed my friend...they'd turn on you too. So you joined them..." Hiccup turned his head from her.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. You're right...I was afraid...I saw that last night...my nightmares reminded me what I did...that I gave up my best friend because I thought people would turn on me if they saw me hanging out with you..." Astrid tried not to cry again.

"What do you mean your nightmare reminded you?" Hiccup questioned now.

"After we found you last night so near death, realizing that you left Toothless in the cove and went to the point...trying to kill yourself again. None of us could sleep and we didn't want to leave you, so we camped there. The others fell asleep around 2 I guess, I don't remember. I stayed up though until 4 but sleep beat me and I knocked out...in my dream, I saw us as kids when we were 4 and you gave me that flower...I saw everything from third person view, seeing how we promised to be best friends forever and always...That you said you'd make sure your dad got us married so we could rule together..." Astrid told him gently.

"That was it?" Hiccup blinked.

"No...then it faded to us being 7...and you telling me Snotlout hurt you and called you names. I told you to ignore them because one day they'd all have to listen to you and I'd be by your side when you became chief...But then...it changed to when we were 10 and everyone was hurting you in the village...I kept begged them to stop by saying _'No, don't hurt him...he didn't do anything wrong'_ as my older self but of course no one listened because these were just my dreams, my memories of what happened. After they were done beating you, my 10 year old self came forward and..." Astrid closed her eyes tightly.

"You saw what you did and said to me...and you couldn't believe you had..." Hiccup finished for her.

"When I heard what I said, I cried out yelling at myself _'Don't tell him that, you promised to be his friend forever and always'. But then as it continued I kept pleading for it to stop then when you said about us getting married, I said 'We will, we will Hiccup, don't listen to her...she doesn't mean it...I don't...I didn't mean it'_ and then after I walked away as my younger self...I dropped to my knees crying and saying _'No...no...I didn't...say those horrible things to him...I didn't...I–I...Oh gods! Hiccup, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it...You are my best friend! I want to marry you and run Berk together as chief and chieftess!...You're not weak...you're not useless or worthless...I didn't...mean those things...'_ but it didn't matter because I couldn't change what I'd done..." Astrid couldn't face him, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"That's the funny thing about time, once something happens it becomes the past and the past can never be changed. When something is done, it cannot be undone." Hiccup said quietly.

"That wasn't the worst of it, that isn't what made it a nightmare to me..." Astrid stopped walking and looked at him sadly. "What made it a nightmare was the last scene I saw...you standing on the cliff getting ready to jump and saying, _'I have no one. Everyone hates me. I'll never be chief, I'll never be anything more than a useless hiccup.'_." Astrid saw him look over at her.

"But I never said that the day on the cliff." Hiccup stated.

"I know, but like I said...this was a nightmare to me...showing me...I think my worst fears." Astrid said lowly.

"Alright...continue then..." Hiccup said unsure if he wanted to hear the rest.

"I yelled to you _'Hiccup! No...No that's not true! You will be chief, you'll be the best chief we've ever had and I'll be there by your side...as your friend, your wife...your chieftess! Just like I promised I would be...forever...and always you and me together! Don't do it...don't jump! Please...please don't leave...I didn't mean those things I said!'_ But you stepped towards the edge closer and I froze. You said _'I don't...belong here...I'm just...invisible. I'm weak...I have no courage, no strength, no friends...no anything...I don't mean anything to anyone, no one cares about me...they don't need me around...I'm just in the way...'_." Hiccup could see she was crying again, that this nightmare of hers had scared her badly and Astrid didn't scare easily.

"And...did I jump after that?..." Hiccup asked.

"Not right away no...After you said what you did, I added _'You're not invisible, turn around and look at me. I'm right here, just turn around, Hiccup! You have amazing strength and courage! Y–you made the dragons leave us alone, you befriended a dragon! You make amazing weapons! You mean something, Hiccup...to everyone...to me! I care about you, I need you...I–I love...you...'_." Hiccup looked over at her slowly now, in shock of what she said. "At first I froze too, questioning myself...if I'd really just said that. Because this...was me watching you as I am now. A third person view, a vision I couldn't stop only watch in horror. When I realized what I'd said, I also realized...it was true and I meant every word and I admitted it to myself by saying... _'I do...gods I do. I love you...I LOVE YOU HICCUP!'_ I practically screamed it...but...it wasn't enough." Astrid closed her eyes tightly dropping to the ground with her face in her palms.

"I–I still jumped...didn't I?..." Hiccup forced himself to ask. He couldn't believe it, Astrid...loved him? She just admitted to it. Her dream was a nightmare showing her the worst fear she could of ever known which apparently was losing him and being powerless to stop it, all she could do in this nightmare was just watch it happen, watch him kill himself.

"You said _'You broke your promise...You left me...just like them...Forever and always doesn't exist...sooner or later...everything comes to an end...including life. Goodbye, Astrid...'_ Then you jumped...I felt my heart stop and for a few seconds I waited for Toothless to come and save you...but he never did. You fell in to the water, the waves drowning you and crashing you in to the jagged rocks...that's when I woke up and took a few minutes to realize I was awake, first thing I did was ask Toothless if you were still alive...then you woke up and you know the rest from there..." Astrid choked out sobbing still. Hiccup watched her on the forest floor breaking down in a fit of tears about the nightmare so he did the only thing he could think to do, he dropped to his knees and pulled her in to his arms for a comforting hug.

Astrid froze at his action, she didn't know what to do so she just cried against his chest. Hiccup didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say about any of what he just heard. Astrid's dreams showed her their childhood and up until she betrayed him, then she saw her worst fear come true...him killing himself. She was afraid of him dying, and that fear made her realize that she loved him. How did one even respond to that? Hiccup liked her yes, he always had and he wanted to marry her way back then. Did he still want that? Astrid said she wanted those things in her dream, and admitted to wanting them still.

Hiccup finally pulled from the hug and lifted her chin up so her teary blue eyes were looking at his. "I–I'm...s–so sor–sorry Hic...cup...I–I'm so...sor–sorry..." She sobbed to him.

"I forgive you, Astrid." Hiccup said gently, Astrid's breath got caught in her throat hearing what he said but before she could ask she felt him lean in and press his lips to her deeply. Her eyes widened with shock, Hiccup was...kissing her! Astrid felt more tears stream down her cheeks as she melted right in to it closing her eyes and kissing him back.


	11. Take A Chance

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

 ***Author's Note: Gonna warn people now that there will be a lemon between Hiccup and Astrid this chapter, so it will be marked in bold. You can skip it if you want too but if not...enjoy!***

Chapter 11.

It was as if time completely stopped in that moment, the two of them sitting in a dark forest kissing passionately. Hiccup had wanted this for so long, to be able to kiss her on the lips lovingly and what made it better is that Astrid was kissing him back. Though neither of them wanted to break the kiss, it was necessary to breath so they split apart and stared at one another. "No more crying, doesn't look good on you." Hiccup joked with her.

"You...fo–forgave...me...Yo–you just...kissed me..." Astrid said still in shock.

"You proved to me you care, or rather...your dream did but since it was you realizing everything from a third person view, it means you showed me you do care and that you're not lying about it. People who can prove to me they care and want me around them are the ones who get forgiven, and I kissed you because I love you." Hiccup remarked.

"You...love me back?" Astrid asked.

"Always have, always will." Hiccup replied with a shrug.

"You don't know...how happy it makes me to heard that, Hiccup." Astrid smiled lightly trying to keep from crying again.

"Hey, no crying...and yes I do because I'm just as happy to hear you love me too." Hiccup told her now sitting beside her.

"Sorry...can't help it. I thought...I'd lost my chance with you. That I'd never get to apologize and make up for what I did...I promised to always be by your side as your best friend, that we'd rule Berk together as chief and chieftess, with me as your wife...I–I still want those things, Hiccup and...I'll do anything to be able to make it happen..." Astrid admitted.

"I forgave you, Astrid...anything is possible." Hiccup smiled at her.

"Y–you mean that, I still have a chance?" Astrid asked him lightly.

"Well you can't have a chance, Astrid. I can't give it to you...you have to take it. If you see a chance to make what you want happen, then you take it and make it happen. You see you chance, you take it." Hiccup winked at her.

"So...if my chance was to ask you if we can be together as...a couple then I should take it and ask you right now if we can be boyfriend and girlfriend?" Astrid blushed darkly.

"Yes that would be how it works...and yes we can be if that's what you want, Astrid." Hiccup told her gently.

"That's what I want...this is what I want. You." Astrid smiled at him as she leaned in and kissed him again, he chuckled and kissed her back.

"Then its what you will have...babe." Hiccup added after a pause in the kiss before they started again, making out this time with more deep and passionate kisses than before. Each one got better than the first and neither of them wanted to stop, Hiccup's hand grazed up her thigh then around her waist and pulled her against him as they lost their balance and both fell back with her on top of him. The kiss broke as they blushed a deep red at the position they were currently in, then her blush deepened more when she felt something growing against her inner thigh.

"Hiccup...A–are you...?" Astrid started with her eyes widening a little.

"Shit..." Hiccup then sighed closing his eyes and nodding, "Yes, Astrid...yes I'm turned on by the kissing." Hiccup admitted. He couldn't lie, his body was evidence enough that he was turned on. Hiccup carefully pushed her up so he could get to his feet and sure enough there was a bulge forcing his loose pants to pitch a tent. "And now its awkward..." Hiccup went to walk away but felt Astrid grab his hand and he looked back at her.

"Its not...awkward, Hiccup...it's a natural reaction. It doesn't weird me out or anything." Astrid smiled at him.

"Astrid, we just got together and my body wants you in the most intimate of ways..." Hiccup closed his eyes.

"So give it what it wants." Astrid told him, his eyes widened as he looked at her now.

"N–no...wait...what are you asking...no. No, its not happening. I'm 16, you're 15...we'd be dead if anyone ever...Oh gods I can't believe I'm even...What am I saying!...Astrid...what are you asking me to do?" Hiccup asked firmly.

Astrid got up and stood in front of him as she stroked her hand through his auburn hair, then down his cheek softly. "I–I'm asking you to...make love to me, Hiccup." Astrid said calmly.

"But we...just got together and you know that stuff is supposed to...be saved for marriage." Hiccup protested quickly.

"You don't...want me?" Astrid asked him a little taken aback.

"What...no...no, Astrid. Gods yes I want you but...but look how old we are...I don't think either of our parents would approve of us...doing that before marriage...and we're not even eligible for contract until we're 17..." Hiccup stammered.

"Hiccup, we're supposed to wait...doesn't mean we have too. We won't tell anyone...I don't care if we just got together, or our ages...I don't want anyone else, I know you're the one for me...you're the only one I'll ever want." Astrid said softly.

"Is this...really what you want? Right now, right here in the forest?..." Hiccup sighed.

"I don't care...I love you, and I want you to make love to me, right here...right now." Astrid smiled. Hiccup wouldn't tell her no, how could he given he wanted her as bad as she apparently wanted him. Oh if anyone ever found out they did this, they were both in so much trouble. They wouldn't have much time before someone started looking for them, they'd go to the cove and find Toothless there alone and then upon further wandering they would have to pass right by their location to leave the forest. Hiccup cupped her cheek as he pulled her close and closed his eyes leaning down and kissing her deeply. Astrid's eyes closed as she gasped out in to it.

 **/Lemon/**

She wraps her arms around his neck, her lips seeking his out. "Thank you." She whispers when their lips part for a moment. Then Hiccup licks into her mouth, catching Astrid's moan. He smirks as their tongues tangle, hands roaming down backs and up sides. Hiccup, with a surge of courage, reaches up to caress Astrid's breast. Astrid purrs in response, biting at Hiccup's bottom lip. The couple lay themselves down, facing each other as they lay on their sides. Their mouths are still attached, hands sneaking up shirts and pressing to warm skin. After a few minutes of kissing, Astrid becomes impatient. She pushes Hiccup onto his back.

"Don't have all night, Haddock." She tells him, straddling his thighs. She busies herself with getting his pants off as he slides off her shirt. Hiccup quickly stops her making her stare at him with confusion.

"Slow down...we have enough time that I can make our first time unforgettable." Hiccup chuckled. Soon enough, the two are naked and laying on an impromptu bed of their clothing. The two of them just stared at one another's naked forms, Astrid couldn't believe how built he was for a 16 year old boy. Hiccup had muscles! And a two pack of abs, who would of believed it unless they were looking at him like she was.

"Thor almighty, Hiccup...you're so hot." Astrid blushed as her eyes trailed to his freed length between his legs, he was big.

A chilling breeze brushes by as goosebumps rise on their skin. "Why thank you, you're gorgeous babe..." Hiccup tells her lightly. Astrid crosses her arms over her chest in an attempt to keep herself relatively warm. "I'll keep you warm, milady." Hiccup promises before grabbing Astrid by her waist and flipping them. Astrid ends up on her back with Hiccup hovering over her. His body covers hers, protecting her from the wind. They resume kissing but Hiccup's lips trail from her lips to her cheek bone, then her neck.

He licked and sucked one spot he noticed that Astrid moaned loudly for when he touched, he grinned lightly before one hand moved to her breast and massaged it in his hand, his thumb and index finger lightly twisting and pulling at her nipple. Astrid gasps out wanting more from him, Hiccup lowered his lips to the other breast and licked the nipped as it stood at attention with the cold air blowing over it, then he began to suck the perked nipple carefully. After 10 minutes, he switched to lick and suck the right breast while he massaged the left.

"Gods Hiccup..." She panted while her heart raced in her chest.

Hiccup stops the ministrations on her breasts before moving to kiss her again, she returns it briefly before feeling him break it and felt his fingers brush along her inner thighs. She blushed deeply and despite the warmth from Hiccup's body on top of her, she shivers. He raises an eyebrow at her as he then sucks two fingers into his mouth. Astrid curiously watched him but found moments later, that one finger ran along her slit, nudging her clit. She looks up at him with lust in her eyes as he slides his finger inside her warm center. Hiccup smiled seeing her reactions, figuring out quickly she loved how it felt.

Her mouth falls open as his finger thrusts in and out slowly. She grabs the back of his neck and pulls him into a kiss that's mostly teeth. His finger crooks, gliding against the spot that made Astrid's back arch. It isn't long before his second finger is inside her too. Astrid reaches out and takes Hiccup's cock in hand. He gasps into her mouth, hips twitching into her hand. Her hand runs up and down his cock, twirling slightly at the head. Hiccup's motions inside her increase in pace causing her to moan lightly.

"F–fuck..." Hiccup moaned feeling her hand around his length, "Gods I want you Astrid...I want you right now..." Hiccup panted. Astrid thankfully stops stroking him and he eases his fingers out of her. She nodded to him when she saw him position himself at her entrance, she felt the head of his cock teasing her moist core. Hiccup took a breath as he slowly pushed inside of her, her eyes widened at the intrusion, feeling every inch of him enter her. When he reached her maiden head, he put both hands on either side of her head using the ground as support. "Ready?" Hiccup asked her.

"I'm ready..." She replied with a smile. Hiccup lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her as he brought his hips back until just the tip was in her then he pushed inside hard and fast breaking her barrier. Astrid's eyes shot open from the pain, she knew it'd hurt. She'd had the talk with her mother before, that girls get curious between 15-18 and was warned that a man breaking her maiden head would hurt. She screamed out in to his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Astrid...I've read fast was better...I didn't want you to scream and alert the village..." Hiccup said gently as he kissed her cheeks lovingly.

"I–its okay...Just...give me...a minute. You're not a twig in all places..." Astrid joked a little making Hiccup effectively blush that she was calling him big. Astrid took a few breaths while she adjusted to his length inside of her. Yes, he was scrawny in comparison to other Vikings, but she liked his lean body. His years of blacksmithing had led to him acquiring a fair amount of muscle. Usually, his body was hidden under layers of clothing necessary to stay warm in the bitter colds of Berk. Astrid liked admiring his body in full view as he admired hers in return. "Okay...you can start now...slowly?" Astrid asked biting her lower lip.

"Of course..." He whispered to her as he started slow motions in and out of her, it stung a little at first for Astrid but then it changed and she felt waves of pleasure washing over her, heat pooling in her stomach at the feeling. It was amazing, she'd never felt anything like it before. Likewise with Hiccup, she was tight around him and it was a feeling he couldn't describe.

Astrid was enjoying the feel of every inch inside of her. Hiccup stared down into Astrid's eyes while slightly picking up the pace seeing how much she liked it. "Mmm...Gods Hiccup...more..." Astrid moaned out. Every now and then, her hips would thrust to meet his almost subconsciously and nudge that spot inside of her that would make her hips stutter and her mouth let out a moan. Hiccup loved the sounds she made, the soft pants and gasps between her breathy moans. The closer the two got to climax, the louder and more persistent her moans grew.

"As–Astrid...Fuck...I love you so gods damn much..." Hiccup groaned panting. As each moment passed, his thrusts became faster and harder according to her demands that he do so, she raked her fingers across his back leaving slight marks. She whimpers, head thrown back while the feeling continued to grow inside her, she felt herself ready to explode from pleasure. They'd been going for close to 2 hours or so, having switched positions once or twice to Astrid riding him which almost sent him over the edge to soon, then to Astrid on her hands and knees. But now were back to Hiccup being over her and thrusting in to her hard and fast.

Hiccup hadn't the slightest inkling of how he was still holding out, he was close so many times but held back or slowed to keep himself from cumming early but now he couldn't, it just felt too good. "Astrid, I'm close." Hiccup moans, one hand holding himself up while the other reaching down to rub Astrid's clit to help her finish with him. Astrid's back arches, breasts thrust forward and her hips moving feverishly. The two moan out into the night as they reach their climax in unison. Hiccup grunted as he released within her, Astrid's release almost pushed him out but he held firm. Hiccup's mouth surges down to meet Astrid's as they come down from their high slowly, neither moving for a good 15 minutes. He pulled himself from her hot core laying on the ground and then wraps his arms around her, holding her close to his body. She moves so that she lies by his side with her head on his chest.

 **/End Lemon/**

The two stayed like that for a long time before the chill that picked up seeps into their bones. "We...should...get back to the hall...they'll start looking for us soon." Astrid reminded her boyfriend. He managed a small nod then the two dress, sneaking kisses in between putting on clothes. Once fully dressed they look one another over to see how they look.

"Okay, you're glowing...Better get that to stop before we get back, I've read somewhere that women know when other women have had sex...And I'd fix your hair because you look like you just came out of war." Hiccup snickered.

"Shut up, you look like you got in to a fight with the forge..." Astrid remarked teasingly.

"We can fix that in the cove, I've got a comb there and I'm sure Toothless is impatiently waiting to fly again." Hiccup chuckled as he took her hand and they walked back together towards the entrance of the cove. 20 minutes later they'd made it and Hiccup was instantly tackled by Toothless licking his face with worry. "I'm alright bud...get off..." Hiccup laughed. Toothless got off him and spotted Astrid, he stared at her a few seconds before nodding approvingly.

"Wh–what was that nod for?" Astrid asked unsure now.

"Its him accepting you, he knows I'm happy with you so you're okay by him." Hiccup smiled. Astrid knelt down putting her palm out to him. Toothless was hesitant. "Close your eyes and turn your head from him...trust him like you trust me." Hiccup instructed her, she did what she was told.

"I promise I'll never hurt him again, Toothless and if I do you can kill me." She said lightly after her head was turned with eyes closed, then she felt something press to her palm. Looking over she saw that it was Toothless, he accepted her or maybe her terms that if she ever hurt Hiccup he could kill her. "This feeling is amazing, no wonder you two are such good friends." Astrid whispered.

"I know right, here's that comb." Hiccup said handing it to her after he fixed his hair and splashed some water on his face which cooled him down. Astrid took the comb and fixed her hair, then the braid. She splashed her face to make the redness from her cheeks fade. "I'd say we're safe to go back now..." Hiccup smiled.

"Lets go then, what time is it anyway?" Astrid asked as she climbed on Toothless's back after Hiccup had then held on tightly.

"We left around 5:45, flew for 20 minutes, walked for 20...then...that for 2 hours, plus the 20 minute walk back...I'm going with 15 minutes to 9. So about 3 hours we were gone. If anyone asks... I was teaching you how to fly Toothless, and took you on a flight to see the Northern Lights and sunset, then we talked in the cove for an hour...And you..." He said looking down at Toothless, "Not a word...to anyone. I know you know..." Hiccup told Toothless.

"Wait...he knows that we..." Astrid began.

"He's a dragon, he can smell it which is why when we first got here he snorted before tackling me down." Hiccup said gently. Astrid paled almost, great so Hiccup's best friend knew they just fucked in the forest for two hours. Oh this was going to be awkward from now on. Without another word, Toothless shot in to the sky back towards the village.

(Berk)

Toothless landed 15 minutes later outside the hall as Hiccup and Astrid got off then walked inside acting normal. "And just where in name of Thor have you two been?..." Stoick asked quickly seeing them enter.

"If you must know, I took Astrid flying on Toothless. Taught her to ride him, showed her the sunset and Northern Lights, then we talked in the cove for a while. Problem with that?" Hiccup growled, he just had the best night of his life with the woman he loves. His father wasn't ruining it for him.

"But you don't let anyone in the cove with you lad..." Gobber added now.

"I forgave her, that's why we were talking. Astrid is my girlfriend, she's an exception." Hiccup remarked.

"Wait hold up...you two are together...as in together together?" Ruffnut blinked in surprise.

"Yes, Ruffnut. Together, together. We're a couple now. I love him and he loves me." Astrid blushed leaning her head on Hiccup's shoulder which he kissed her forehead.

"We–well I'm very happy for you two." Stoick said forcing a smile.

"Sooo this party still going on?" Hiccup asked them.

"Of course! Its your birthday party, we can go as long as you want too!" Snotlout exclaimed.

"Alright then, lets have some fun...and for you mi'lady...I'd like to ask you to dance with me." Hiccup smiled at Astrid, she blushed darkly now.

"Da–Dance? B–B–But I don't...know how, Hiccup..." Astrid stammered quickly to him.

"Then allow me to show you another one of my many talents besides being a blacksmith, and dragon rider..." Hiccup paused then added, "Don't look down." Hiccup whispered to her, she nodded shakily and felt Hiccup hold his posture and offer his hand to her.

"I–I don't know if I can do this, Hiccup..." Astrid told him.

"Ssh...Take my hand, take a breath. I'll pull you close then take one step. Keep your eyes, locked on mine and let the music be your guide." Hiccup said softly to her. Astrid took his outstretched hand, she took a deep breath as Hiccup pulled her close then wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her close against his figure, his left hand held her right while she put her left on his shoulder. Hiccup took one step back with his left leg as Astrid stepped forward with her right, then the two began to move together in sync.

"I–I'm dancing...Hiccup I'm dancing!" Astrid exclaimed happily as she stared in to his eyes.

"Ready for something a little more complicated?" He asked, she paled a little but nodded. "Take my hand, I'll take the lead and every turn will be safe with me." Hiccup took his hand off her waist and span her around a few times before brining her back against him. "Don't be afraid...afraid to fall. You know I'll catch you through it all..." He supported her back and dipped her low in a sway then brought her back up as their faces were closer together and she blushed. The room began to clap for them softly while the moved around the open area.

"I never knew I could be this happy, Hiccup...You are certainly a man of many talents and I love them all..." Astrid said gently.

"Then you'll love this..." Hiccup said gently as he cleared his throat. "I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need. I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do...I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning. A reason for living. A deeper meaning...Yeah." Hiccup began to sing to her softly making her eyes widen a little.

"I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever...Until the sky falls down on me..." Hiccup now hummed lightly to her as they continued dancing, Astrid closed her eyes smiling before laying her head on his chest.

Hiccup moved his hands to her waist, swaying with her while her arms wrapped his neck relaxing, "And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry. The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty. That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest power, in lonely hours, the tears devour you..." Hiccup kissed her forehead gently.

"I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever...Until the sky falls down on me." Hiccup lifted her chin so they were staring at one another now, ignoring everyone else in the room.

"Oh can you see it baby? You don't have to close your eyes, 'Cause it's standing right before you. All that you need will surely come..." He leaned his head down and pressed his lips to hers quickly. "I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need. I'll love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do..." Hiccup smiled at her as he saw a tear slip from her blue eyes, he wiped it away with his thumb before continuing.

"I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever...Until the sky falls down on me." He sang softer now spinning her again and bringing her back to him, she smiled gently, "I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever...Until the sky falls down on me." Hiccup finished, the room stayed quiet as they saw the two of them staring at one another deeply. Hiccup cupped her cheek with his hands as he leaned in closing his eyes and she did too before their lips met in a deep, passionate kiss. That's when the room clapped happily cheering for them.

"I love you, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third." Astrid said after they broke the kiss.

"I love you so much more Astrid Hofferson, soon to be Haddock one day." Hiccup winked at her as she blushed and they kissed again.


	12. The Nest

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 12.

Things were never better for Hiccup since the night of his 16th birthday. Mind you, he was happier, but had yet to forgive everyone. Hiccup was still living in the cove with Toothless but now came to the village everyday to visit Astrid and the other teens, Gobber too. Hiccup had forgiven the teens about 2 weeks after he and Astrid got together, then Gobber right afterwards. Hiccup spent most of his time in the forge, walking around the village with Astrid or taking her on flights with him, the rest was hanging with Toothless.

Hiccup had forgiven just about everyone, there were some who hadn't shown much change like Mildew and a few others but honestly Hiccup didn't care so much anymore. He had the love and affection of almost everyone, every day he arrived in the village he'd be greeted with smiles, handshakes, even hugs from children. The only other person he'd yet to forgive was his father, and though he'd been trying Hiccup just didn't feel like Stoick was trying himself.

It was now about 6 weeks since Hiccup's birthday, as well the night Astrid and him made love for the first time. It had been such an amazing night for them, but neither of them breathed a word about what they'd done because it wouldn't go over very well with her parents or his father for that matter. In truth, they had such a good time doing it that they had done it a few other times. Not a lot because they had to be careful so they didn't get caught.

Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Fishlegs were always hanging around the cove with him and Astrid because they were always curious about his dragon training techniques and his fighting style. Dual wielding was an intense skill that not many could do because you needed speed, strength, and balance yet Hiccup being the skinniest Viking on Berk made it look so simple. Other than dual wielding axes, he could do the same with swords, and single head axes. Hiccup also was an incredible dagger thrower, he practiced everyday and the others always watched.

Piercing another target with a dagger he wiped the sweat from his brow with a grin of accomplishment. "I don't know how you hit it every single time!" Snotlout told him jumping up in shock.

Hiccup shrugged a little to him, "I don't know either, I just do. It's all posture and aim I guess. Why have you all taken such an interest in my dagger throwing skills is beyond me. You literally come here everyday just to watch me practice with it." Hiccup rolled his eyes at his cousin now.

"Because it's amazing! You're so skilled, Hiccup." Ruffnut exclaimed to him, her eyes oogled him more as Astrid groaned a little.

"Back off, Ruff. Hiccup is mine." Astrid stated cooly.

"Easy babe, no one is going to take me away and at that...Nothing could take me away from you. I've waited years after all." Hiccup chuckled as he bent over and kissed her cheek making her blush softly.

"Hah, the great Astrid Hofferson is blushing. Never thought I'd live to see the day..." Tuffnut remarked snickering, Astrid punched him in the arm hard making him yell out holding his arm as she glared at him.

"Watch it, Thorsten or you might not live to see your next birthday..." Astrid warned him.

"Geeze Astrid...you're grumpier than usual. What gives?" Snotlout asked her.

"I'm fine, mind your own business." Astrid replied harshly to him, Hiccup put down his next set of daggers to throw and walked over to her, crouching down before her figure. Astrid was sitting on a wooden chair with her head down, she sighed heavily. Hiccup took her hand in his and rubbed it lightly with his thumb.

"You feeling alright today babe, I kind'a gotta agree with Snotlout here. You're a little moodier than usual..." Hiccup said carefully.

"I'm fine, Hiccup. Just a little tired, I didn't sleep well last night." Astrid offered a gentle smile. "Plus all the walking back and forth from the village to get here is hell on my feet. Its an hour and a half walk each time..." Astrid added.

"It's not so bad." Hiccup chuckled.

"For you mister dragon rider, the rest of us have to walk." Astrid giggled a little poking his nose.

"True. Why don't you go lay down in the house for a while, I promise my bed is comfortable. I'll lead the others home." Hiccup suggested.

"Are you sure?..." Astrid asked.

"Course I'm sure babe. Go get some rest." Hiccup smiled to her. Astrid nodded as she got up slowly made her way past the curtains in Hiccup's shack like house.

"Do we have to leave?" Fishlegs asked.

"Yes. Astrid is tired and wants to rest. Go on, I'll lead you of the forest. You can come back later on for dinner. Gobber's coming too." Hiccup said as he whistled for Toothless to come over while he jumped on his back and opening the tail up so they could fly. "Alright bud, nice and easy now." Hiccup chuckled, Toothless took to the sky and hovered slow overhead. Snotlout, Fishlegs, and the twins climbed out of the cove with Toothless staying above them.

Astrid laid in Hiccup's bed but she couldn't fall asleep, she hadn't been sleeping well and feeling rather ill but figured it was a bug, it would pass eventually. She closed her eyes and rolled over pulling the covers up to her shoulder, then finally closed her eyes.

(In The Village)

An hour later Hiccup had dropped the teens off in the village and dropped by the forge to see Gobber, he stepped off Toothless's back with a smile as he greeted his former mentor with a handshake. "Ello there laddie, what brings you by?" Gobber asked with a smile.

"Was dropping the teens off, Astrid is tired so I told her to rest in the shack for a while and I came by to visit." Hiccup shrugged with a smile.

"Yeah her mother stopped by before expressin her concerns for the lass." Gobber said as he went to heat up another blade to hammer it out, Hiccup tilted his head a bit confused.

"Concerns, what kinds of concerns?" Hiccup asked curiously.

"Says Astrid's been up sick last few nights, eatin less, and not sleepin." Gobber informed him.

"Huh...she never told me she was sick. Well thanks for the info, Gobber. I'll be back tomorrow." Hiccup went to get on Toothless again.

"Lad, are you...ever going to forgive yer father?" Gobber asked him softly. Hiccup didn't say anything at first, he looked away.

"I'm trying Gobber, but I just can't...get past him being my chief over my father and even as my chief, he didn't defend me as a chief should. He didn't stop people from hurting me, he didn't stand up for me, he didn't guide or teach me...he was just...never there for me and I can't forget that...I want to, I just can't and honestly...I don't know if I can." Hiccup sighed.

"You forgave the others who hurt you, I know your father made mistakes raising you...but you can't hate him. You said you hated all of us but if that were true, you wouldn't of protected the tribe from Dagur. You protected your old man too...Want some advice?" Gobber offered. Hiccup looked over at him slowly now, "Talk to 'im. Just sit down and talk with him about whatever, father son things. You can't avoid him forever, he is your father and he loves you even if he doesn't show it all the time." Gobber told him.

"I'll consider it...see ya around." Hiccup waved as he and Toothless left the area. Gobber looked back as Stoick came out of the side room sighing.

"He'll come around, Stoick. You hurt him the most." Gobber patted his friend on the back.

"I know Gobber, but its been almost 3 months and he's forgiven the others." Stoick mumbled.

"That I know, but Hiccup isn't the only one who has to make an effort here. You do too, you're being considerate and concerned but you're still not being his father yet. Show an interest in his work, the blacksmithin, his dragon riding and training...y'know?" Gobber suggested.

"I will next time he comes to the village, I just don't know what to talk about with him...we're so different. He's like Val was, Gobber...adventurous, didn't want to hurt dragons, inventive...We always did our own thing in the village." Stoick closed his eyes.

"Stoick you're a very old, dear friend of mine. But you have to understand that Hiccup is not a boy anymore, he's a young man and he's going places. He made peace with a Night Fury who is his best friend, he's inventive, adventurous, sarcastic lil bugger, and he's in love. He's the talk of Berk, the pride of Berk...Everyone is waiting for him to become the chief, I know you missed out a lot on of his childhood, but don't miss out on the rest of his life. Be his father, you don't have to be his chief...he knows what he's doing. Be his dad, be what you haven't been but stop treating him like he's a baby or a little kid. He's a young man, and will continue to grow up. Listen and support him, be there for him as his father." Gobber told him.

"You're right, Gobber...I have to get my son back and I'll do whatever it takes." Stoick nodded.

(The Cove)

When Hiccup landed back in the cove he immediately knew something wasn't right, he got off Toothless and listened close as the noise hit his ears. He heard someone throwing up, and that someone was Astrid. He rushed inside the shack to see her throwing up in a tall bucket, "Astrid..." He said softly walking beside her and moved her braid out of the way while rubbing her back in light circles. "Are you okay?" Hiccup asked gently sitting on the edge of the bed beside her.

"No...I feel terrible..." She replied weakly throwing up again.

"Its alright, get it out. You catch a bug or eat something that didn't agree with you?" Hiccup asked.

"I guess I must have...I felt fine earlier." Astrid looked over at him as she pulled away from the bucket and laid her head on his shoulder. Hiccup put his hand to her forehead, then cheek sighing.

"You've got a fever...and you're sweating. Take off your armor and boots babe, lay down." Hiccup told her lightly.

"B–but I have to get home, its almost dark." Astrid said quickly.

"Not tonight you aren't. You're staying here tonight, you can't move without throwing up and you certainly can't fly back. I'll let your parents know, they'll be alright with it for one night. You are sick, let me take care of you. And I know this has been going on a while so tell me about the last few night with you not sleeping, being sick, and not eating?" Hiccup said as he pulled out his bed roll and laid it on the ground with a pillow and blanket.

"Started a few days ago. I was really uncomfortable when I slept or...tried too at least. Then I started feeling sick, and weak with no appetite." Astrid mumbled removing her spiked skirt, shoulder armor, and boots then laying down in Hiccup's bed. Toothless took his place on his rock, heating it up and circling it before laying down comfortably.

"Sounds like a stomach illness to me, I'll take care of you. Here, take this." He said handing her a warm drink in a mug.

"It smells terrible." Astrid plugged her nose shying away from it.

"Might smell bad but it'll work. It'll keep down the nausea, and take away any pain you feel. It's a relaxer babe, trust me." Hiccup chuckled. Astrid took the mug and gulped, she downed it quickly and swallowed followed by sticking her tongue out to further prove it tasted as horrible as it smelled. "Now lay down and relax, I'll let your parents know you're staying with me tonight. I'm sure they won't mind." Hiccup said as he gave a whistle and a green terrible terror flew down from the trees and landed on his arm.

"What's that?" Astrid asked while laying down.

"Terrible Terror." Hiccup chuckled, "His name is Sharpshot, he's going to deliver a message for me. Take this to my father on Berk little guy." Hiccup said writing a quick note and tying it to Shapshot's leg, the dragon licked his cheek and flew off. "Its called Terror Mail, way for me to get them a message when I can't actually be there." Hiccup smiled.

"Clever babe." Astrid smiled as she yawned.

"Go to sleep, I'll be here when you get up, I promise." Hiccup said kissing her forehead. Astrid nodded and soon fell to sleep while Hiccup laid against Toothless on his bedroll.

(Berk)

The terror, Sharpshot made it to Stoick's house and clawed at the door until he answered. He saw it had a letter and took it, he handed the dragon a fish before shutting the door and sitting down to read it. _**"Dad, Astrid doesn't feel good and can barely move without throwing up. I'm making her stay in the cove with Toothless and I tonight, I promise she's safe. Let her parents know for me. Thanks, Your son -Hiccup."**_ Stoick read it over a few times, the line that got him the most as Hiccup referring to himself as his son, it was small but enough for Stoick.

He got up and headed to Astrid's parent's house, then knock as her father Calder answered the door. "Ah chief, what brings you by so late?" Calder asked smiling.

"Message from Hiccup. Says Astrid's not feeling well, and throwing up is making her unable to get home tonight so Hiccup is keeping her there. He promises she'll be safe, asked if I'd let ya know." Stoick responded.

"Ah, good man he is. We're not worried, we know Astrid is safe with him. Thanks for letting us know." Astrid's mother, Hildegard smiled gently.

"Don't beat yourself up, Stoick. He'll come around, you're still trying to hold on to your baby boy. You have to let him grow my friend. Our kids don't stay little forever, so we cherish what we do get with them. Its our job to ready them for the world, not hold their hand through it." Calder said putting a hand on Stoick's shoulder.

"That's just the problem, Calder. I missed out on his childhood, I didn't guide him or protect him. I wasn't there for him as a chief or a father, and now he's 16. He's eligible to become the chief in two years when he ascends to adulthood. He's a dragon rider, a boyfriend, a fighter, blacksmith...and those are all things he accomplished...without me guiding him. Hiccup raised himself, and that is time I can never get back." Stoick looked down.

"All the more reason to cherish the time you have now. You can't stop him from growing up, Stoick. You can only prepare him. I know it seems hopeless but the truth is, we can't protect them forever. We won't always be around, deep down you know that." Hidegard smiled gently. Stoick sighed nodding, he knew they were right. He couldn't stop Hiccup, even if he tried too. Hiccup was as stubborn as himself, one thing they did share and Stoick knew Hiccup would fight him, and continue to hate him.

Stoick turned and then headed back down the path to his house.

(The Cove)

Astrid was fast asleep as Hiccup was dozing off early. He felt Toothless shift a little and he looked over to see him writing something, _"Something smells different in here..."_ Toothless had written. Hiccup blinked a few times, "What do you mean bud?" Hiccup asked. _"I don't know, something is off, is...different."_ Toothless wrote. Hiccup pondered his words a while, what could be different that Toothless could...smell? He trusted his friend of course so if Toothless thought something was off and wasn't right then Hiccup believed him, the question remained as to what was causing such.

Around 3 in the morning, Astrid was violently ill again. Toothless was the one to wake Hiccup up from his sleep, like before Hiccup rubbed her back gently and got her more of the medicine. Soon she was back to sleep but still running a fever and it worried Hiccup. When the next morning came full circle, Hiccup took Astrid back home to her parents house and dropped her off before he went flying with Toothless for a while.

(Astrid's House)

"How are you feeling dear?" Hidegard asked Astrid who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Little better, Hiccup's medicine...whatever it is works wonders on an upset stomach." Astrid smiled softly.

"Hungry?" Calder asked bringing over a plate of eggs, bread, and yak milk.

"Starved actually." Astrid smiled as she began to eat the food quickly. When she finished she cleared her plate and then returned to sit down when Hidegard noticed something about her daughter's figure.

"Better lighten up on those snacks during the day sweetheart, you're getting a little belly." Hildegard joked. Astrid now looked down as she saw the small bump forming on her lower stomach, Astrid smiled waving it off.

"I will, I'm gonna go lay down for a while." Astrid then headed to her room, as soon as she laid down she lifted her shirt a little and saw the bump again and for some reason she couldn't explain she placed her hands on it softly. 'I–I didn't think I'd been eating that much the last few days, especially with all the throwing up...and not eating...' Astrid thought closing her eyes with a sigh.

(With Hiccup & Toothless)

The two of them had gone a little off course headed West and were now sitting on an island by themselves, "I'm worried about Astrid bud...She's been sick for a week now, and it hasn't shown any signs of letting up..." Hiccup sighed sighed, he saw Toothless start to write now, "She smells different. I can't put my claw on what it is, but her scent has changed." Hiccup frowned, was that a good or bad thing? "Should I take her to Gothi maybe?" Hiccup asked. Toothless shrugged a little as if to say it was up to him. "She's stubborn, she won't go easily." Hiccup chuckled now.

It was now he was noticing that this island where ever they were had an awful lot of dragons, none were bothering him and Toothless but it was clear they were coming and going from it in large groups of 20-30. The ones that came back had food, the ones leaving didn't. "Huh...hey bud, what's with all the dragons?" Hiccup asked looking at him. Toothless used his claw to write out the words 'Dragons Nest'. "You mean...this is the nest my dad has been looking for? Its been so close, he'd surely send an armada here if it meant stopping raids." Hiccup replied.

Toothless shook his head and started to write again and Hiccup looked over to read it, _"He wouldn't stand a chance. There's a reason his ships never reach the island. The queen orders the dragons to raid neighboring islands for food, if the dragons don't bring enough back she'll eat them instead. The dragons are under her control, she's massive Hiccup. She lives in the carona of the volcano behind us. She's nocturnal so she's asleep right now."_ Hiccup blinked a few times, "Come on she can't be that big..." Hiccup joked, Toothless now motioned for Hiccup to get on his back so he did.

Hiccup opened his tail and Toothless took him inside the mountain through a maze of rocks until they were inside where Hiccup could see the lava pit as well a large rock looking mass sitting in it. "What the..." Hiccup gasped as Toothless landed on a ledge and looked over, he began to write again. _"I really was not joking. They call her the queen for a reason."_ There was movement below as the rock began to move and lift its head up sniffing the air. A gronckle flew in and coughed up a single fish and dropped it in the pit, silence filled the volcano as suddenly a large head shot up and ate the gronckle in one bite. Hiccup gasped with wide eyes.

"Bud...we need to go." Hiccup urged him, the queen began to sniff again. "Now!" Hiccup yelled, Toothless shot off as the queen tried to make a snap at them, thankfully Toothless was faster and she missed them but she did get a zippleback. All the dragons shot out of the volcano top and flew away in fear. Now with Hiccup and Toothless safely away he took a minute to collect himself. "Ok bud...I believe you. Odin almighty! We gotta do something about her...but what can a 16 year old and a Night Fury do? Shit she's huge...Whatever we do...we have to keep the tribe away from this place...Or they are all dead." Hiccup breathed heavily a few times, Toothless nodded as they flew back to Berk. Something had to be done about that queen, that's why dragons raided Vikings. Because she made them, if she was defeated then the dragon would be free of her control and wouldn't raid anymore. Hiccup needed a plan, and fast.


	13. Father-Son Talk

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 13.

Hiccup hadn't said a word about locating the nest but it wasn't as easy as he thought it'd be since go figure that same night there was a raid which only fueled Stoick's desire to want to locate the nest again. Hiccup did what he could in the raid, he couldn't keep using the roar because it was awful for his throat and he certainly couldn't touch all their noses to gain their trust and break the control the queen had. Now a week later, Hiccup found out Stoick was planning to look for the nest and he was battling with himself about what to do. Hiccup could tell his father he found the nest but that would only make Stoick want to go more, or Hiccup could say nothing and risk his father finding it on his own then possibly get killed.

The choice wasn't hard, he couldn't tell him. On top of all that nonsense, Astrid was still sick and Hiccup was more concerned about that over the dragon queen. As long as the queen stayed where she was on the island , Hiccup could handle a few raids until he found a way to deal with the queen. Hiccup was working in the forge today to help Gobber again since the raid damaged a few things, people tried not to use their weapons unless they were scaring the dragons off but even there it was hard not to so some were broken and bent.

"Man...That raid was brutal last night." Snotlout huffed as Hiccup handed him his sword.

"Stoick's going to be looking for the nest again by the end of the week." Fishlegs added, Hiccup mumbled under his breath. Maybe he could distract Stoick by getting closer to him again.

"Gobber, I'm taking a break alright? I gotta see the old man about something." Hiccup called to Gobber taking off his apron and rushing out the door.

"See ya after laddie." Gobber replied smiling as Hiccup jumped on Toothless's back and they flew off to find Stoick, he was on the docks preparing ships for the search of course. Hiccup rolled his eyes as he landed by him and got off.

"Hello son." Stoick smiled.

"Hey dad, what are...you doing over here?" Hiccup asked.

"Preparing the ships for another nest search. Yerself?" Stoick asked.

"Oh just...uh taking a break from the forge, thought I'd come and...see you." Hiccup offered a smile, shocking Stoick a bit.

"Is everything...okay?" Stoick blinked at him.

"Yeah, all fine just fine...I was...wondering if you wanted to talk...or something?" Hiccup looked at him.

"Um sure son. You men finish loading these boats, we're leaving in 4 days heading West towards Helheims gate." Stoick ordered.

"Aye Stoick!" The men replied as Stoick now walked with Hiccup off the docks and in to the village.

"So...how's Astrid son?" Stoick asked him curiously.

"She's fine...still sick, being stubborn and refusing to see Gothi..." Hiccup shrugged a little to him.

"The Hoffersons like the Haddocks are a very stubborn group my boy. We're all hardheaded and never listen to reason..." Stoick laughed a little now.

"Yeah I figured that out a long time ago." Hiccup chuckled. "Its been two weeks so I'm just worried about her, so are her parents." Hiccup sighed.

"I'm sure she's fine. I remember one time I got ill from food, eel pox, a cold, and a stomach bug back to back when I was a lad." Stoick told him.

"That must have sucked. How long were you sick for?" Hiccup asked.

"Oh its been so long since then, I was about your age when it happened. I'd say I was sick for 30 days, maybe more. Yer mother would be able to tell ya better. She and I were good childhood friends before we dated, then got married and had you son." Stoick smiled looking up now.

"Can you...tell me about her dad? I was...so young when she was taken." Hiccup asked curiously.

"Well of course I can tell ya, want to come to the house for lunch?" Stoick asked.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Can...Toothless come?" Hiccup questioned.

"Course he can. He's practically family now, yew two are like brothers almost." Stoick chuckled, the two of them walked to Stoick's home and entered it. Toothless sat down on his back legs while Hiccup sat at the table and Stoick got some bread and other things for them to eat. Stoick set them on the table, then he got a bucket of fish for Toothless before sitting down across from Hiccup, and eating an apple.

"So...am I like mom?" Hiccup asked now while taking a bite of bread.

"You're so much like her son. You've got her eyes, and darker hair than her. You're every bit of her, Hiccup. You're adventurous, inventive, wise, smart, and kind to all. She was...different, just like you." Stoick told him calmly.

"How old were you two when you met? How'd you get together?" Hiccup smiled.

"We'd always been childhood friends from the time we were 3 or so. My father was chief, and she had the second powerful house on Berk. Yer mother's maiden name was Jorgenson, because she's Spitelout's sister. Me and Spitelout, oh we never saw eye to eyes on anything. A lot like you and Snotlout actually. We got together when we were 17, then our parents started a contract for us at 20 years old. Negotiations were trouble, almost didn't end up happening but then my father stepped in and offered the highest dowry against my mothers wishes. Negotiations took a few months, because I was also training to become chief myself." Stoick began to tell him.

"So you and mom dated for 3 years before a contract was written up...I always thought it had to be as soon as both were 17, contract would start between the chief's heir with the daughters of the houses in the village doing down the power chain." Hiccup stated, he hadn't been aware of it at all so it was interesting to hear about.

"In some cases. I'll explain after if you like. After all, as an heir yourself you'll need to know for your trainin when you become chief of Berk." Stoick offered.

"Yeah, but that's still a couple of years away...isn't it?" Hiccup asked.

"Not entirely son. In fact, a chief can have his heir start training when he feels his heir is ready. For example, given how you've handled numerous situations the last few months. I could start yer training for chief now." Stoick told him.

"But...you're not going to...right? I'm only 16, and I don't feel like...being chief right away." Hiccup protested.

"I said it was an example son. But in truth, you've shown loyalty, strength, wisdom, courage, kindness, caring, understanding and many more qualities a chief must possess. Everyone in the village thinks your ready now to take over but of course, the rules still say you must be 18 when you've reached adulthood." Stoick smiled.

"I don't see why everyone thinks that when a few months ago they didn't even know I existed. I was the embarrassment of Berk now I'm what...the hero?" Hiccup mumbled.

"No Hiccup. You're the pride of Berk son, you have the qualities I didn't have raising you. Not only will you make a great chief one day, but also a great father. Everyone in this village loves and respect you, and...They are proud of you. So am I." Stoick said calmly making Hiccup look up at him in shock now. Did...Stoick really just say that. That he was proud of him.

"Wh–what did...you just say?" Hiccup asked.

"I said...I am proud of you son. I am very proud of you and proud to call you my son and I am so sorry for everything in the past. I never meant to make you feel like you weren't worth somethin, or that you couldn't do anythin right. I wasn't the chief I should of been to you, or the father you needed. I can never get back the time I lost but I can promise you that I will be here for the rest. You're the pride of Berk, Hiccup and you are the greatest gift I could of ever received. I love you son." Stoick said firmly, but meaningful too.

Hiccup couldn't believe it. His father was...proud of him and loved him, Hiccup had waited years to hear those words. He didn't know how to handle the overwhelming emotions coming to him. Did he smile, laugh, cry even. Instead of any of that he merely smiled confidently and got up from his seat, he walked beside his father and hugged him tightly. It took Stoick by surprise but he hugged him back. "I forgive you dad." Hiccup finally said.

Now it was Stoick's turn to want to cry tears of joy, "Oh son. I'm so happy to hear that." Stoick choked up a little. After a moment or two they broke from the hug and smiled at one another.

"All I've ever wanted...was for you to be my dad and...to be proud of me. I didn't think I could forgive you because...I thought no matter what I did you'd never be proud of me. Growing up, I thought you hated me..." Hiccup told him going back to sit down at his spot.

"I never hated you son, you just...reminded me so much of your mother and well her being taken still hurts me. You're just like her, and I didn't...know how to handle it and the way I did was obviously very wrong too. I'm sorry for it all, Hiccup. I want you to come home, and live here again. Toothless can come too, you know I don't mind." Stoick said gently.

"I–I'll think about it dad. I actually...like living in the cove. Peaceful ya know? But anyway...you were talking about you and mom?" Hiccup said trying to change the subject.

"Yes! Well after negotiations closed, we celebrated it all. The weddin was planning for 3 months later, and it was a good time. Yer mother and I started trying for a baby right away, but I also had just become chief so time wasn't easy. Yer mother well her pregnancies weren't easy." Stoick said.

"What do you mean...pregnancies? Do I have...brothers or sisters somewhere?" Hiccup asked.

"No son...I mean, none of her pregnancies...made it to full term. You know...miscarriage, stillbirth...or born early but didn't make it long. You were born early too, 3 months actually. And yer mother was so scared you wouldn't make it but I never doubted, I always said you'd become the strongest of them all and I was right. You pulled through fine, and all though you're a Hiccup...you're still my son and I couldn't be prouder of who you are or the things you've done." Stoick smiled.

"It means...a lot to hear you say that dad. So I was the Hiccup...that made it through and when I was two...mom got taken from us...I wish I remembered her." Hiccup looked down a little.

"She's always with us, Hiccup. In your heart she lives on, as she does with me. Oh...I have something for you." Stoick said getting up and getting something from a side room, he brought it over and handed it to Hiccup. It was a helmet, looking just like his father's only a different set of horns. "You're true Viking, Hiccup. And I want you to have that, it's made from half yer mother's breast plate. Matching set to mine." Stoick chuckled.

"Thanks...dad...I'll treasure it..." Hiccup said a little unsure of wearing his mothers breast armor on his head.

"You've earned it. So you wanted to know more about contracts for marriage?" Stoick asked.

"Yeah...I mean...I–I...would like to marry Astrid one day." Hiccup blushed a little.

"Well long ago, before the time of Hamish the first. Marriage contracts were used for arranged marriages but nowadays, they are just for legality matters regarding chief's and their heirs. You see son, because I'm chief and you're my only son and heir, house Haddock is top of the chain. Now, as the chain goes down we have house Jorgenson, Hofferson, Ingerman, and Thorsten. Now, I'll explain this using you as the example since well you are my heir and eventually this will happen to you." Stoick said.

"Okay...I'm listening. But I do...get to pick who I want to marry...right?" Hiccup asked.

"Yes, listen and I'll tell you how it works." Stoick smiled, Hiccup nodded to listen to his father after all he would need to know these things for when he planned to marry Astrid, and take over as chief eventually. "I am chief of Berk son, and you as my heir means that at some point you will have to become the chief yourself and give an heir to the throne and so on and so forth. Now...mind you this might be a touchy subject but...if you had killed yourself then I would have to take another family member as heir. And you know this because you said it in your note, to claim your cousin as my heir." Stoick said.

"Yeah because you're the chief and he's family but then the heir wouldn't be Haddock, it'd be Jorgenson right? So the bloodline would change." Hiccup stated.

"Correct. But since you're...well alive." Stoick said as Hiccup rolled his eyes, "Sorry. The way it would work would be thus, as you know yes marriage contracts can't be started until yer 17 since give or take with negotiations, bride price, dates, and more can take months to comb through and agree upon. Now women usually aren't aware of the contracts, but these days we like to let the kids decide who they want to marry. But after negotiations are settled, the male does have to propose before the next steps are taken. Then the engagement and date would be announced a feast to celebrate the negotiation agreement, and engagement. Then the planning usually takes anywhere from a month to four depending on the families agreements and what the soon to be married couple wants." Stoick smiled.

"Doesn't seem so hard." Hiccup shrugged.

"Ah but its not so simple for you see...if the heir becomes chief and doesn't take a wife in the first 6 months of his chiefhood then an arranged marriage has to be set up because obviously whoever is chief has to give a blood heir to the in arranged marriages we go down the power line with possible brides. So given Haddock's are at the top, next would be Jorgenson but since that house has no daughters, it'd be Hofferson. If that fell through, it'd fall to the nest house with a daughter your age. For you it'd be between Astrid and Ruffnut, whatever the families agreed on to bride price. I know it seem off giving your child to the highest bidder but the bride price becomes the dowry for that family. Well now it becomes the means for your wife and child to live off of if you were to pass away unexpectedly. Insurance to ensure their survival." Stoick said, Hiccup nodded understanding thought he didn't feel he'd have a problem there.

"So why 17 for contracts?" Hiccup asked curiously.

"Not sure, that was agreed upon by the council long before I was chief and unfortunately it can't be changed. I assume they thought 17 was just a good age to marry." Stoick shrugged.

"So there'd...be no way to marry under 17?" Hiccup asked, "Like even if two people knew they loved one another and wanted to be together?" Hiccup added.

"Well there are...loopholes. You see son, back in the day contracts were set up with families who had daughters, who were pure as in untouched with their maiden heads in tact. This was to ensure that the woman...had no children who weren't of the bloodline to the one who was chief. A long time ago, a chief and his wife were required to consummate their marriage in front of the entire village. Well those over 18 at least and the wedding was set for a time in a women's cycle when she would be fertile as so to conceive the next heir right away. And it was done publically so no one could say the woman...slept around and conceived a child who would not be the blood heir." Stoick explained.

"Wait wait...you mean to tell me that way back them the chief or soon to be chief and his wife would have to...do that in front of the village to make sure she conceived a kid by him?" Hiccup asked a little astounded.

"Yup, that was the way of it." Stoick said. Hiccup paled a little, "Oh son you're worried you'd have to do the same. No, that was a long time ago. We don't do that anymore, it was changed about 150 years ago. Now its merely 6 witnesses follow the couple to the house to watch the viewing of the kransen and sword removal then guards are posted outside the home of the couple for the first night." Stoick laughed a little.

"Okay good...whew...so why did a child have to be conceived on the first night of marriage, I mean some people don't want kids right away." Hiccup asked.

"Well it was part of the contract process, before one could begin...the maiden in question would have to be examined for her purity and health. If the woman was un-pure, the bride price could be negotiated down by the groom's parents or the entire contract would fall through. Her health is examined to ensure she can bare a child for her husband, a barren wife would mean no heir. As you know, an heir must be given. Long before, examinations weren't required. But now they are because if a woman is barren, there cannot be an heir between the couple. So if a woman could not bare an heir, there were some cases where the marriage would be dissolved and a woman suitable of baring a child was found, and another marriage would take place. But now, the examinations are in place so there isn't a need to worry if an heir can be given or not. Contracts can only start once the examination is complete." Stoick sat back a little.

"So in my case back in the day, Astrid and I couldn't get married if she couldn't bare a child?" Hiccup asked. Stoick nodded, "And the exam is to make sure she can have kids, and is still a virgin?" Hiccup blinked a few times.

"The exam is necessary so that the chief or soon to be chief is able to have an heir by his wife without worry that she may be barren. If the wife of the chief cannot bare him an heir, the marriage is dissolved completely. This would mean that this woman gave up her purity and can lessen her chances of ever finding a husband because most men want a woman who is untouched by another. The exam prevents this from happening." Stoick smiled.

The was a little relieving to hear, "So what were those loopholes about marrying under 17?" Hiccup asked now.

"It's a vague loophole son and not often used since among the tribe...its rather frowned upon to have premarital sex. However, we understand that sometimes lust takes over and the curiosity of teenagers plays a part. When a young girl in the tribe hits 13, you're aware she begins drinking the snowflake tea. A form of birth control so that if these things do happen, there won't be any pregnancies. The loophole of marrying under 17 but not before 14 is that if a man impregnates a woman then the woman and the child are his responsibility. The would be parents are allowed to marry under age if both parents of the teens agree. Its...a marriage of convenience. They don't have to marry but the man is require to support the woman and child until the child is 18." Stoick explained.

"So it...goes without saying that the heir of the chief definitely shouldn't be engaging in any...curious behavior?" Hiccup asked calmly.

"Of course son. If the soon to be chief slept with another woman and got her pregnant, he'd have to marry her because that would be his heir." Stoick told him firmly.

"Right, got it. I'll behave dad, no worries." Hiccup smiled. Toothless snorted and then gave a throaty chuckle, "Shut it, Toothless..." Hiccup warned.

"That's my boy, well young man now." Stoick said getting up to pat him on the back. "Oh before I forget son. I was doing some thinking and...I want you to join dragon training with the other teens." Stoick added smiling brightly.

"Dad...I think we've already established that I...don't want to fight dragons." Hiccup retorted.

"No no son. You misunderstand, I want you to train dragons there. Actually dragon training, I want you in charge and teaching the others how to train them. I think the only way that will happen is if we're taught by the best. I want you to bring in a new era to Berk, Hiccup. I want you to be the one to lead our people in to the future...starting by ending the war with dragons and living in peace among them." Stoick beamed.

Hiccup's eyes widened now, his father wanted him to...train dragons. To teach the other teens how to train dragons? He wanted peace with them! And he was...trusting him with that responsibility? "Ar–are you sure dad?...You're not..afraid of me...destroying the village or nothing?" Hiccup asked.

"No, I'm not. All those things you did are in the past and they have shaped you in to the young man you are today. You're different, Hiccup and I accept that fully. I trust you." Stoick replied with a nod. "Besides, you're actin chief while I'm away." Stoick added. Hiccup's smile dropped hearing that. _'Fuck!'_ He had forgotten his father was leaving to find the nest. He needed an excuse to keep him there and quickly. Then it hit him.

"Hold on dad, if you want me to take over dragon training...I have...a condition to doing it..." Hiccup lied quick.

"Oh, what's that son?" Stoick asked arching a brow.

"I want...you to join the class too." Hiccup told him. Stoick blinked a few times now, "Yep, th–that's my...stipulation. Yo–you have to come too. You're the chief so you have to learn how to train dragons too...y–you know...lead by example?" Hiccup suggested.

"Alright...I can put my search for the nest off until a later date if it means I get some...bonding time with my boy and...learn how to train a dragon." Stoick agreed. Hiccup let out a breath he'd been holding in since he made the offer, which was more like an order but meant in a good way. He was only trying to protect him, and the whole tribe from a massive dragon queen who would tear them the shreds.

"Great! We start in the morning then. Be at the ring with the others after your patrol. I'll take care of the rest. I'll do small groups so just you, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, and the twins for now. Then we can branch off and...start teaching the others." Hiccup smiled.

"You got it." Stoick agreed. Hiccup was relieved, he hadn't stopped his dad but he postponed him which meant now he had to take the time he had to figure out a way to defeat the queen. Easier said than done. He'd think of something, for now dragon training would have to be the distraction. He only prayed to Odin nothing went wrong between now and the day he figured out how to handle that queen. How do you defeat something the size of a literal mountain who controlled smaller dragons? With a carefully laid plan of course.


	14. Searching

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 14.

That next morning Hiccup was already in the ring with Toothless waiting for his father and the other teens who had been more than thrilled to find out Hiccup was going to teach their dragon training class by teaching them how to actually train dragons. Hiccup was tiredly leaning against Toothless with his eyes closed and arms over his chest and stomach, pretty much asleep when Stoick and the teens arrived. "Is he...sleeping?" Snotlout asked.

"Looks that way...should we wake him up?" Astrid asked. Toothless nudged Hiccup's face a little and he woke up slowly, he saw that the others had arrived and stood up slowly stretching his arms up with a yawn. "Tired babe?" Astrid asked him with a giggle, Hiccup hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"I didn't go to bed until 4am, so yes I am a little tired." Hiccup shrugged slightly, "How are you feeling today?" Hiccup asked her.

"Great actually, I managed to keep my breakfast down." Astrid blushed a little.

"Well if you start feeling sick again, I want you to sit out. Okay? Promise?" Hiccup said.

"Yes sir." Astrid kissed his cheek.

"So why were you up so late anyway?" Fishlegs asked.

"I'll show you. Toothless?" Hiccup grinned a little while Toothless stood up and fired a blast to the gate lever and made it slam down keeping them all inside. This made them a little nervous, "I was up most of the night searching for wild dragons for you to train and I've got them in the pens right now. I don't want them running away." Hiccup stated.

"Are you gonna teach us to fly them?" Snotlout asked.

"We'll see. I was assigned this job to teach you how to train them, not ride. I ride Toothless because he needs me to fly..." Hiccup told them.

"Fair enough. So..what kind of dragons are we working with?" Astrid asked him calmly.

"Glad you asked...Get back against the wall and whatever you do...Do Not...pull your weapons. They'll see it as a threat and start attacking." Hiccup warned, the others quickly nodded as Hiccup pulled the lever releasing all the doors as the 6 dragons burst forward snarling and growing angrily. Hiccup snapped his fingers as Toothless fired two blasts now and made the dragons stop while Hiccup moved in front of them with his hands up. "Easy boys and girls, they won't hurt you...I promise. Trust me..." Hiccup soothed.

The dragon began to calm and settle down, Hiccup faced the group now. "Training starts now. Step forward slowly." Hiccup calmly waving his hand for them to come forward. Stoick and the others walked away from the wall, now standing 2 feet away from a monstrous nightmare, a gronckle, a hideous zippleback, and a 2 deadly nadders. "Alright first things first trainees...to train a dragon you have to trust them. I'm gonna pair you up with a dragon, and for the duration of training...its who you're working with." Hiccup stated.

"Aye sir." They replied.

"Good." Hiccup said as he took Astrid's hand and brought her before a blue and yellow nadder. "She won't hurt you, just relax." He told Astrid who now nodded. Hiccup then brought Stoick to the other nadder which was purple and blue. Hiccup put Snotlout in front of a red and orange nightmare, Fishlegs with a brown gronckle, and finally the twins in front of a green, red, and yellow zippleback.

"Are Tuff and I sharing a dragon?" Ruffnut asked.

"Yes. These are the only dragons I could get on short notice...Work with me. Alright, now you'll noticed these dragons seems hesitant and scared. Is because the sense that you are as well, they fear you'll hurt them with your weapons so right now I want you to slowly reach for your weapons without looking away from the dragon in front of you and toss them away towards the ring edge." Hiccup ordered.

"A–are you sure about this, Hiccup?" Snotlout asked.

"Do you trust me?" Hiccup asked now with his hands on his hips. They nodded, "Then do as I say." Hiccup mumbled. Slowly but surely, everyone removed their weapons and tossed them out of reach. "Now you see they've settled a little, however trust runs both ways. You've shown them you wont hurt them. Now you have to trust they won't you." Hiccup said smiling.

"And how do we do that?" Stoick asked.

"U–uh Hic–Hiccup...I don't think this dragon likes me very much..." Snotlout whimpered, Hiccup look over to see the nightmare he'd put Snolout in front of flamed up and rather angry. Hiccup now walked over and put his hand out to the nightmare.

"You're scared, and he knows it. You don't trust him. This is key to dragon training people...No fear and absolute trust." Hiccup reminded as he looked at the nightmare and put his hand left hand out slowly. "Hey...hey...its okay. Its okay." Hiccup said gently to the nightmare, the flame lightened to nothing as the nightmare sniffed his hand curiously. "See there ya go big guy...I'm not gonna hurt you. Neither will Snotlout, he's a sarcastic roughian but he won't hurt you." Hiccup chuckled as the dragon's eyes moved to look at Snotlout now.

"Woah..." The other gasped, even Stoick was shocked to see Hiccup calm down a nightmare just by talking to it.

"Talk to him, Snotlout. Show him you want to be his friend. Be calm, and don't be afraid." Hiccup whispered.

"Yo–you want me to talk to h–him?" Snotlout asked with wide eyes, Hiccup nodded. "Alright um...What do...I say to a dragon?..." Snotlout asked.

"Doesn't matter what you say as long as its friendly and calm. Why don't you try...telling him its okay and you won't hurt him, that you want to be his friend...give him a name. Assure him he can trust you." Hiccup offered.

"H–hi there...uh...I–I'm not gonna hurt you...Its...okay, I promise. A–and you know...you need a name so...lets call you...Hookfang. Th–think we can...be friends?" Snotlout asked, the nightmare's eyes went from slits to dilated now and calmer.

"Good...now give me your left hand. Don't be scared, and trust him as you trust me." Hiccup said, Snotlout felt Hiccup raise his left hand up and put the palm out towards Hookfang slowly, finally moving his own hand away from the dragon's snout and replacing it with Snotlout's hand. Hookfang began purring contently.

"This feels...weird..." Snotlout laughed a little, "S–so he...trusts me?" Hiccup nodded now.

"Yep, what you feel is the bond between you and Hookfang. Its like what Toothless and I have, Hookfang will always be your friend and have your back. You'll understand his noises, and eyes. You may not hear him talk but you'll understand what it means." Hiccup smiled.

"Its so cool..." Snotlout gasped.

"I know, alright...now the rest of you. I want you to do the same thing Snotlout did...be calm, friendly, and unafraid. Talk to the dragon in front of you...The zippleback is a boy, the gronckle is a girl, Astrid your nadder is a girl and she's the one who I let go that day in the ring. She sticks around to make sure I'm safe. Her name is Stormfly, or that's what I call her anyway. And dad yours is a boy. Talk to them and give them a name, then use your dominant hand to put out with the palm up. If their nose presses to your palm then they've accepted you as friends and partners. And Ruff, Tuff. You each get a head. Ruff yours will be the one on the right, Tuff yours is the left. It might a one dragon but the two heads have their own personality." Hiccup instructed.

This took a while to do, close to an hour. Astrid and Fishlegs bonded right away to Stormfly the nadder and Meatlug the gronckle. Ruffnut had bonded with Barf, the name of the dragon head she was given. Stoick and Tuffnut were having trouble but eventually got it. However, Stoick didn't bond to the nadder but it did give his trust. "How come this nadder didn't bond with me like the other dragons did to the teens?" Stoick asked.

"Well from what I understand dad, bonding is between a dragon and the human. It's a connection...like that the two are supposed to work together. This nadder might just not be your bonded dragon, doesn't mean its not out there but the nadder gave you his trust so that's enough for now." Hiccup smiled.

"Works for me. So what's next?" Stoick asked.

"That's it for today. You've bonded, given one another trust, and named them. That took about two hours to do and its now time for a break." Hiccup replied.

"So what do we do with these guys?" Snotlout asked.

"Nothing, their gonna follow you around like Toothless does with me." Hiccup yawned.

"You look tired babe. Maybe you should take a nap?" Astrid suggested to him.

"Yeah, I just might do that. How you feeling?" Hiccup asked.

"Good right now. So...same time tomorrow?" Astrid asked, Hiccup nodded to her. After that, the dragons followed their human out of the ring while Hiccup got on Toothless and returned to the cove where he almost immediately went right to sleep in his makeshift home. It had been a successful day, dragon training was actually fun and he loved it more so because he was entrusted to do it, to be the teacher. It was a good feeling.

(2 Weeks Later)

Training was going good, the teens loved the bond they had with their dragons but today Hiccup just wasn't all there for it. He was in the ring first as always waiting on the others and he felt just awful. Stoick and the teens arrived with their dragons ready for another lesson but they noticed Hiccup's pale face and the face he looked miserable. "Son, are you alright?" Stoick asked him.

"No, I'm not...I feel terrible. Class is cancelled today..." Hiccup groaned tiredly.

"What's ailing ya?" Stoick questioned stepping towards him.

"Stay back...I don't want to get you sick dad...Go on home guys, I'm going to the cove to sleep this off...I guess I caught what you had babe." Hiccup chuckled as he got on Toothless.

"Feel better babe." Astrid said softly. Hiccup nodded and headed back towards the cove with Toothless.

"So now what do we do?" Snotlout asked.

"Well if Hiccup is sick then I'm going to take the chance to search for the nest. You kids are welcome to come, having some trainers on our side might help with the dragons we face when we get near Helheims gate." Stoick offered.

"Right-o sir. We'll pack up and meet you on the docks." Tuffnut saluted and with that sure enough they left their dragons in the ring with some fish as they left to pack their things for the trip.

(The Cove)

Hiccup hit his bed and fell right to sleep instantly. He didn't know why he was sick, but he had an awful feeling about today. Something wasn't right, he could feel it. Something big was going to happen, the fact he was sick made it worse because he wasn't up to par to deal with anything big. He only prayed there was no raid tonight, but he knew for now sleep was best and he'd just monitor everything else. Toothless laid beside his friend on his rock and went to sleep as well.

(Docks)

Stoick was already aboard the ship when the teens arrived with their bags. They boarded as Stoick raised his hand, "Set sail. We head for Helheims gate." Stoick ordered With that the ships began sailing West towards Helheims gate, everyone hoping they found something or it turned out differently since Stoick and the teens knew how to train dragons now of course none of them knew about the queen only Hiccup did and currently he was on Berk sleeping off his sudden sickness.

A few hours later everyone was just sitting around while the ship sailed through the water, Astrid was feeling sick as hell and sitting near the edge of the ship incase she threw up. "You don't look so good, Astrid." Fishlegs pointed out.

"I don't feel so good, Fishlegs...I felt fine this morning." Astrid mumbled weakly.

"Well we can't turn back so when we hit land, you can just rest on the ship." Stoick informed her, she nodded and closed her eyes to try and take a few deep breaths to settle the nausea though it wasn't working as well as she's hoped it would. She looked around to see people talking among themselves about life on Berk, how their families were doing. Astrid smiled a bit, she couldn't wait for the day her and Hiccup started a family of their own, she knew that he was the one she'd marry. They'd always planned it that way since they were kids so there was no reason to change it now, she loved him with her everything.

"Arvid, what were you telling me this morning at breakfast before the chief pulled us away for another nest search?" Said one man now.

"Right! Almost forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me, Colden. As I was saying, you know how Helga's been sick this past week, going on two now?" Arvid smiled, this got Astrid's attention since she had been sick for a few weeks herself so she quietly listened in.

"Yeah, I remember. She go see Gothi finally? Stubborn wife you got my friend." Colden replied with a laugh.

"Well she didn't go see Gothi, I made Gothi come to the house. And...turns out my wife is with child!" Arvid said happily.

"Congratulations! I know you two have been trying for a few months, that's really good for you. How'd Gothi tell, hand on the belly as always?" Colden asked now.

"She watched Helga's symptoms. Constant nausea, fatigue, sore breasts, can't handle certain smells, couldn't sleep comfortably...oh and the throwing up. Gothi had said those were basic, early symptoms of pregnancy. That and Helga's already got a little bump right here." Arvid exclaimed motioning to a place on his lower abdomen.

"That's great, Arvid. So how far along is she?" Colden smiled.

"Gothi thinks 5 weeks, judging from when we actually you know did the deed. I guess when a woman conceives she doesn't get symptoms until 4 weeks at least after conception. I guess you're not considered pregnant until two weeks after doing it since it takes time for fertilization, implantation, and what not. I don't know how we both missed the no period, moodiness, and spotting in the beginning." Arvid shrugged.

"Well I'm happy for ya my friend, looks like we'll be having a child blessing in 8 months! Chief should be happy about that." Colden chuckled. It was this conversation that made Astrid's eyes widen, she zoned out on the rest of what they were talking about now in her own thoughts. Astrid was thinking about her own illness and began to think back on the last few weeks. She couldn't be...pregnant could she? Her eyes slowly fell to her belly, it was bigger. She was slim, and if she was she was already showing.

 _'Okay Astrid calm down...think about it. What symptoms have you had the last few weeks...Nausea, fatigue, moody, can't sleep comfortably, definite throwing up...'_ Astrid thought to herself as she tried to remember anything else Arvid said about his wife's symptoms to compare it to. There was the bump, sore breasts which she didn't have but he also said smell sensitivity. There had been a few instances where she couldn't handle the smell of certain things and it made her want to throw up. But what else had Arvid said? Spotting and...Astrid's mouth hung open in shock now. Missed period. She hadn't gotten hers since a week before Hiccup's 16th birthday party when they made love.

"Astrid?...You alright over there?" Ruffnut asked curiously. Without warning, Astrid got to her feet and threw up over the edge of the boat, retching and heaving heavily. Ruffnut walked over and rubbed her back a little, looking concerned towards Stoick and the other teens. Even a few people on the ship were worried about her, they knew she'd been sick for a few weeks.

Astrid couldn't process it all, she'd missed her period, she never got it last month. When did her and Hiccup make love, the night of his birthday party. The timing fit perfectly between when they had sex the first time to now with her symptoms and belly size. _'O–oh Gods...I–I'm...preg...nant...'_ Astrid thought trying to recover from shock, she'd thankfully stopped throwing up now but she needed to get back to Berk. She had to talk to Hiccup, he needed to know now.

"I'm worried about this illness, Astrid. You've been sick for almost 4 weeks...have you been to Gothi yet?" Stoick asked, Astrid shook her head slowly plopping down on the boat deck. "When we get back, I'm orderin ya to go. Understand?" Stoick said firmly.

"Ye–yes sir..." Astrid replied. She sat there quietly letting this news sit with her, she was 15 and pregnant. 15, almost 16 and pregnant with her and Hiccup's child. How was she going to tell him? How was he going to take it? How were they going to tell Stoick and her parents she was pregnant because Hiccup and her had sex on his birthday?! She was getting a headache already, would Hiccup even want a baby right now? Suddenly she felt the ship reach land and everyone looked towards the island shrouded in fog and ash.

"We found it...we're here. The nest of the dragons..." Stoick whispered with a grin almost. After years of searching they'd found it. Astrid didn't like this, something was wrong with this place. It was the dragons nest for sure but there was more, it couldn't of been as simple as this. Worry began to rise in her chest as she put her hands on her belly out of instinct. Her clothes hid the bump well which is probably why no one had asked her about her sudden weight gain.

 _'Oh Hiccup...I wish you were here right now...'_ Astrid thought, though it was more of a prayer. Instantly Stoick began giving orders to prepare catapults and weapons. Astrid slowly made her way off the boat and looked at the mountain, it was a volcano. Something was very off about this, why hadn't they been attacked yet? Stoick said they were always attacked before they reached land and were forced to turn back.

(Berk)

Hiccup woke up slowly, he'd been sleeping for a few hours because the suns positioning changed. Given by guess it was around 2pm. He got out of his bed and stretched, he felt a little better thankfully. Perhaps all he needed was a little more sleep, he'd been up late working on a strategy to take on the queen and keep the villagers on Berk instead of searching for the nest. Toothless came over and licked his cheek, then started to write in the dirt. "How do you feel?" Hiccup shrugged a little. "Better than before that's for sure. Anyone come by?" Toothless shook his head. "Well lets go pay them a visit them." Hiccup chuckled as he got on Toothless's back and they headed towards the village.

As soon as he arrived he felt something was off. The dragons for training were all laying in the ring with the gate closed, and the village was pretty close to abandoned. Hiccup saw one villager and flew over quickly landing to cut him off. "Hey Birger, where is my dad, Gobber, or...anyone for that matter?" Hiccup asked.

"Oh right, they said you didn't feel good. They left on a nest search about 2 hours ago, your dad took the teens too incase they could train the dragons there to leave Berk alone." Birger replied. Hiccup felt his heart stop almost, his dad, Gobber, Astrid, and the others were looking for the nest?

"What way did they go!" Hiccup ordered quickly with fear.

"We–West towards Helheims gate..." Birger said backing up a little.

"Fuck! I want you to get anyone else able to leave the island and round up whatever ships are left. I want all of you headed West to this location as soon as possible. I'm flying ahead...Gods I just hope I'm not too late." Hiccup said panicked handing Birger a map with the nest's location on it.

"B–but Hiccup...were is this place?" Birger asked.

"It's the dragons nest...I found 3 weeks ago with Toothless...And before you say anything, I didn't tell anyone because there is a dragon the size of a mountain living in the volcano there. They can't beat her, she's the queen. She controls the raids, for the dragons to bring her food or be eaten themselves. Please Birger...If we don't get there...they are all going to die. Do you understand me. I'm acting chief when my father is away...this an order!" Hiccup demanded.

"Right away, Hiccup." Birger nodded, Hiccup jumped on Toothless's back and they sped off as fast as they could go.

"Hurry bud...as fast as you can go..." Hiccup pleaded with worry.

(The Nest)

"On my signal..." Stoick announced raising his hand, then closing it to a fist. In that about 10 catapults fired boulders towards the mountain, they hit cracking it open. It was silent a few moments then all the dragons emerged from the holes made and flew off in massive groups. The Vikings tried to hit them and train them but they just flew out of sight.

"Is that it?" Gobber asked in surprise.

"It can't be..." Astrid breathed out, the fear was still there. Something wasn't right, it was wrong. Very wrong. Suddenly the mountain began to crack around the sides and a massive roar was heard making everyone freeze almost. Rising from the carona of the mountain was a large dragon with 6 years, head frill, cubbed tail, and 4 legs. It was gray with some color on it.

"Odin help us..." Stoick said with wide eyes.

"Beard of Thor what is that?" Gobber asked now as people began to back up towards the ships. The dragon emerged fully and roared out preparing to fire its blast, everyone shielded themselves waiting for it but out of the silence and fear, a loud voice was heard.

"FIRE!" And then there was a blast of purple from behind the dragon forcing it to shake its head and focus again. As the villagers looked, they saw Hiccup fly around from behind the dragon and land in front of Stoick.

"Hiccup!" They cheered.

"What are you doing here son? How'd you know where we were?" Stoick asked quickly.

"It doesn't matter, get to the ships and get out of here now. I'll distract her..." Hiccup said firmly.

"You're not facing THAT alone, Hiccup." Stoick ordered. "How do you know it's a her...wait have you known about this dragon and the location of the nest...How could you not tell me!" Stoick boomed.

"Dad, you don't understand...you can't win this one. Yes...I've known about the nest, I found it 3 weeks ago by accident...Its why I've been holding off your searches by using the dragon training as an excuse..." Hiccup panted people gasped in shock at what he said. Hiccup had known about the nest and didn't tell anyone? He knew about this dragon, no one could believe it.


	15. Can't Lose You

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 15.

The area had fallen almost silent except for the massive dragon queen still trying to recover from Toothless's blast to its head, Stoick was almost glaring at Hiccup after hearing he knew about the nest and the dragon queen but never said anything. More so to learn Hiccup purposely kept him from the nest for 3 weeks. Hiccup knew he didn't have a lot of time before the queen recovered and started attacking again, he wanted to get them out of there and fast. "I know I should of told you before dad but come on...I promise you this isn't a fight you can win! Look at her! She's the size of a mountain...A literal friggen mountain!" Hiccup motioned to her.

"I've been searching for years, Hiccup! We're staying and fighting!" Stoick argued.

"No you're not! You're taking everyone to the ships and getting out of here, now." Hiccup demanded.

"I've waited to long son..." Stoick pushed Hiccup out of his way.

"For once in your Thor-damned life will you please just listen to me!" Hiccup yelled at the top of his lungs. Stoick froze turning to see him there angrily. "That dragon is the dragon queen alright, she commands the smaller dragons to raid for food and bring it back to her. If the dragons don't bring enough back...she kills them by eating them instead. I saw it happen! I don't care how mad at me you get for keeping this from you...I know how dangerous this is and you can't win it! If I hadn't come when I did, you'd all be burnt alive! I kept this to myself to protect the tribe, your tribe! You wanted me to be the chief then show me you trust me to protect these people!" Hiccup growled.

"How did you know we were here, you were sleeping when we left." Stoick asked.

"I woke up and went to the village to see all of you, Birger told me you left for the nest heading West and I already knew this place...Now please, I am begging you to trust me dad, you told me you trusted me. Now prove it, get everyone on those ships and sail back to Berk. I'll keep her busy." Hiccup sighed.

"You can't fight her alone, Hiccup...she's huge." Astrid said worried.

"I'm the only one who can do this...I'm the only one who can ride a dragon..." Hiccup said calmly.

"Hiccup...Wait...I have to talk to you." Astrid said reaching for his hand.

"You can tell me on Berk when everyone is safe, please go." Hiccup pleaded her. The queen roared out angrily now ready again, "Shit...come on Toothless!" Hiccup said as he went to get on Toothless's back but noticed Toothless's eyes were slits, that wasn't good. Toothless stepped towards Hiccup slowly and his eyes widened, "Toothless?" Hiccup said.

"What's wrong with him?" Fishlegs asked.

"The queen...controls...Oh no...Toothless! Come on bud, snap out of it. Don't listen to her!" Hiccup said quickly with his hands up. Toothless growled at him snarling now and baring his teeth.

"Toothless is under the queen's control!" Snotlout yelled.

Hiccup knew what the queen would do, order Toothless to kill them all. "Toothless..." Hiccup said softer now. "Its me bud, its me. I'm right here..." Hiccup put his hand out slowly.

"Hiccup get out of there!" Stoick ordered.

"No. I'm not leaving him under that things control...You don't know the bond Toothless and I have, dad. This is what I'm good at...Trust me. And get back." Hiccup retorted keeping his focus on Toothless who opened his mouth to form a blast. "You hear me, Toothless...I'm not leaving you...I know you're still there, I know you can hear me." Hiccup said softer as his hand got closer to Toothless's snout.

By this point the queen had attacked the boat with a blast rendering them no longer able to be sailed back which meant they were trapped on this island with this dragon queen and a currently possessed Toothless aiming to kill Hiccup. "Come back to me...You'd never hurt them...you'd never hurt me. I won't lose you, Toothless. I won't leave you..." Hiccup said as Toothless's eyes changed from slits to dilated a few times and he whined trying to fight back the control. "I won't let you go. Please you...are my best friend bud." Hiccup's eyes started to form tears as his hand rested on Toothless's snout and he warbled at Hiccup. "My Best Friend."

Toothless pulled back and shook his head with his eyes closed then opened to reveal the big, wide happy eyes. "Atta boy! That's it! I'm here!" Hiccup smiled as he threw his arms around the dragon's neck.

"How did...you break her control...?" Gobber asked.

"He's my best friend, our bond is stronger than you could ever imagine...and now it's time to stop that power hungry dragon..." Hiccup said as he jumped on Toothless's back and opened his tail.

"It's the prophecy...Two worlds will come together by one boy and one dragon. And only together they will show everyone the truth that lies beneath. They will come together through pain and loss and rise above it all, forming an alliance, a friendship, a bond so strong that no army can stand against it. They will end the war, and change the world forever." Fishlegs exclaimed.

"Not sure what you're talking about but...Right now...I've got a dragon to deal with. Stay out of sight..." Hiccup warned as he prepared to take off. Astrid rushed over and grabbed his hand, tears in her eyes.

"Hiccup no...don't fight her please...you can't win alone...and I...can't lose you." Astrid cried, Hiccup reached over and hugged her tightly, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I have to...I'll be alright, please just get to a safe spot..." Hiccup said gently to her. "I'm nothing without you..." He added.

"And we are nothing without you. We need you..." Astrid whimpered against his chest.

"This is what a chief does, Astrid. He protects his people...and if I have to die to make sure you're safe and can live a long, happy life...where you can have your future then I will." Hiccup said softly to her.

"You're not the chief yet, Hiccup...and I wasn't...talking about the tribe when I said we needed you." Astrid said shyly, Hiccup's eyes widened and he pulled back looking at her closely, he saw her hands resting on her stomach it was now that he saw the small bump there. His mouth slowly dropped open, "As–Astrid...are you...telling me that you're...?" Hiccup trailed off slowly.

Astrid nodded to him, "I–I'm with child, Hiccup... Its why I've been so sick...and moody. I'm...pregnant. With your child."

Hiccup couldn't even find the words he needed to talk, to respond to what she'd said. Astrid was pregnant, with his child. "When...did you find out?..." Hiccup asked her.

"On the ship sailing here...I overheard Arvid talking about his wife being pregnant, he mentioned all her symptoms and I just...matched them to my own...Nausea, fatigue, can't sleep comfortably, aversion to certain foods, moodiness, spotting...missed monthly bleeding..." Astrid said sheepishly.

"How...far along?" Hiccup questioned still trying to sit with it.

"I–I don't know...Symptoms started...6 weeks after the first time we made love. And most women get symptoms at 4 weeks, that'd be a month...and I've been sick for a few weeks now." Astrid replied. Hiccup stayed silent now as he spotted Toothless writing something in the dirt it made his eyes widen more. "What...what did he say or...write?" Astrid asked Hiccup gently.

"He said 7 weeks. That means almost two months...The night you got sick and I made you stay with me...he said something smelled different but couldn't figure out what it was and now he knows that it was you being pregnant..." Hiccup sighed.

"A–are you mad at me?" Astrid lowered her head.

"No, it takes two to make love babe...We both had a hand in this happening." Hiccup replied offering a soft smile to her, she returned it and then the queen stepped towards them and Hiccup's eyes narrowed.

"Hiccup...No...please don't fight her! You'll be killed and I can't...raise this child without you..." Astrid cried again. Hiccup cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply, holding it for about a minute.

"You won't have too. I promise you on my life, I won't die. I swear it, Astrid that I will come back alive and then we'll get married and raise our baby together. Stay safe..." Hiccup let go of her hand and Toothless shot in to the sky before Astrid could protest him going again.

"What were you...two talking about?" Stoick asked, "I've never seen Hiccup looked so scared or shocked before." He added. Astrid never answered him, her eyes focused on the skies above as Toothless and Hiccup climbed higher and higher, Hiccup looking down to see that the dragon queen had wings.

"That thing has wings..." Hiccup said in disbelief then an idea crossed his mind, "Alright, lets see if she can use them." Hiccup turned Toothless and they dive bombed down toward her, when just close enough Toothless shot a blast at her side forcing her to fall over with a roar. Hiccup and Toothless turn again looking around as they are flying through the air. The Vikings watched as the dragon queen regained her footing and spread her wings. Hiccup looks back as they put distance between them. "You think that did it?" Hiccup asks Toothless curiously then suddenly, the enraged behemoth rises into view flapping its wings furiously. A daunting sight. "Well, he can fly." Hiccup announced, at least the dragon was off the ground and away from his tribe now.

Hiccup and Toothless dive into the tangled sea stacks, they weave through the rock like rabbits through a briar. The queen snaps at them, but cannot reach them. Hiccup and Toothless pull ahead. The queen now smashes through the canopy of rock and pulls in behind Toothless. She bursts through fifty-foot formations like they were saplings.

On the ground Stoick, Gobber, and the Teens watch as Hiccup and Toothless streak past, weaving through sea stacks.

"Woohoo! Yeah!" Snotlout, Fishlegs, and the twins cheer. A moment later the queen breaks through the sea stacks to dust in hot pursuit. The Vikings mood is quenched and Astrid is more worried now as her hands instinctively move to her belly and rub it slightly.

'Don't worry little one, your daddy is gonna be okay. He'll make it, he'll come back to us...he promised and your father never breaks his promises.' Astrid thought calmly, or trying to stay calm at least. Hiccup and Toothless can't slow the monster down. Hiccup eyes the clouds above. An idea hits him. He locks eyes with Toothless.

"Okay Toothless, time to disappear..." Hiccup commands, Toothless pulls into a steep climb, heading toward the clouds. "Come on bud!" Hiccup urges confidently. The dragon queen follows, closing in fast. Hearing the gas Hiccup waits for the moment, "Here it comes!" Hiccup warned as the dragon shot a blast at them and they narrowly dodge a column of flame and smoke. They reach the low-hanging clouds and pierce them. The monster follows, immediately losing them in the hampered visibility. It roars irritably as there were a few moments of silence other than the dragons roars of clear annoyance in being unable to see Hiccup and Toothless.

From out of nowhere, Toothless dives at the huge dragon, blasting and puncturing a hole in its wing. Toothless and Hiccup are gone again before the dragon can get a shot at them. Below the Vikings stare up at the sky listening to the resounding bombs and watching flashes light up the clouds. Gobber places a hand on Stoick's shoulder. Hiccup and Toothless dive in again and again, using the clouds to hide and surprise as they puncture the monster's wings. It bellows in frustration and whirls around, unleashing fire blindly, in all directions.

Hiccup sees the glow of fire cutting towards them. "Watch out!" Hiccup yells to Toothless but the random blast clips Toothless' tail. It's heavily damaged and starting to burn up, "Okay, time's up. Let's see if this works." He pulls Toothless into a turn. They fly directly into the queens face, taunting it. "Come on! Is that the best you can do!?" Hiccup grins. Toothless utters an insult too, and they jackknife into a steep dive. The queen pursues quickly with a roar to them, Toothless pumps his wings, racing faster than he's ever gone before. Hiccup and Toothless stay just ahead of the dragon no longer trying to evade it.

Hiccup glances back to check the tail and sure enough, it's disintegrating. Not a good thing because without it they couldn't fly. This would take extreme precision and Hiccup only prayed it worked as well as he thought it would. It was a theory, he didn't know if it would actually work. 'Mom if you're watching...please let this work...' Hiccup prayed. "Stay with me buddy. We're good. Just a little bit longer..." Hiccup informs his friend. The queen closes the gap between them while Hiccup tucks in and holds Toothless steady allowing the monster to set its sights on them with narrowed eyes.

"Hold, Toothless..." Hiccup closes his eyes listening close, the queen opens her mouth. The familiar gas hiss emanates from her throat, signaling the ignition is coming. "NOW!" Hiccup yells and hits the pedals hard as Toothless extends one wing. They pivot in place, hurtling directly into the dragon's mouth. Toothless fires point blank down the monster's throat. Its amassing gas is ignited, backfiring into the monster, erupting in a chain of blasts throughout its body. Hiccup and Toothless burst from the clouds, the queen hot on their tail, exploding from within. It glances forward and sees the ground rushing up.

The queen throws open its wings, attempting to put on the brakes, but the punctured, damaged wings can't stop its momentum. She chokes on the expanding fireball and sees Toothless suddenly pull out of the dive, streaking up, past her head. The queen hits the ground, head-first. It explodes like the Hindenburg. Hiccup and Toothless weave through the monster's massive back plates, wings, and flailing legs. A high-speed recall of the free fall slalom run. The expanding fireball races toward them, about to swallow them.

"Oh gods no..." Astrid's eyes widened with fear. Everyone gasping at the sight of Hiccup trying to escape a massive explosion by flying up the queen's tail. Hiccup and Toothless manage to clear the obstacles. Hiccup glances back, they're outrunning the fireball. He looks forward just in time to see the monster's massive club tail careening toward them. Hiccup tries to shift their direction. The last shreds of Toothless' tail tear away. Hiccup's pedals go dead.

"No. No!" Hiccup and Toothless can't maneuver, they're dead in the air. The giant club tail clips Toothless, tearing Hiccup from the harness and sending him tumbling against the backdrop of the fast-approaching fireball. Hiccup falls back in to the fire, falling unconscious while Toothless struggles with all his might to reach the unconscious Hiccup. But the fireball swallows them both. On ground level the Vikings watch in horror as Hiccup and Toothless disappear into the boiling inferno. A whiteout of ash takes over the area.

Everyone was in shock of what just happened, Hiccup forced the queen into the ground with a face full of fire, they forced her to dive bomb at incredible speeds so she couldn't escape it. Hiccup and Toothless defeated her, and then they were lost in the explosion. Astrid is horror struck at what she witnessed, he couldn't of died. He promised her. He promised...them. Stoick wasted no time, "Hiccup? Hiccup!?" Stoick yells searching desperately. Everything is scorched. Even the ground is smoking from the terrible heat.

"Hiccup..." Astrid whispered in fear, an unmistakable feeling of being sick washed over her. Hiccup was gone, there was no way he could of survived the fall or explosion. She doubted there would even be a body to bury, she'd have to raise their child alone. Their baby would grow up without its father, Astrid fought the overwhelming urge to collapse to her knees as she watched Stoick helplessly search for his son.

"Hiccup!? Son!?" Astrid heard Stoick yell again, she looked up to tell him that there was no chance Hiccup lived through that but then through the ash, Stoick and her see the motionless silhouette of Toothless. "Hiccup..." Stoick whispered in a grave tone. He hurries to the dragon's side. Toothless is roughed up, but conscious. His scorched saddle, however, is vacant, Stoick looks to the sky in despair. He buckles at the knees, overwhelmed by loss.

Astrid pushes through the crowd, her eyes welling up. "Toothless..." Astrid said in an almost silent voice, Gobber now makes his way beside her with the other teens standing sadly. The tribe members who were there began to flank Stoick as he kneels, slumped over. Hiccup had given his life to protect them, to protect the entire tribe from a dragon queen. Behind them, a ring of Vikings form, keeping a respectful distance. As the dust and smoke clear, a ring of wild dragons can also be seen, gathering just behind and between the Vikings. Toothless stirs and groggily rolls his head toward Stoick. Their eyes met.

"I'm so sorry..." Stoick forces back tears, Toothless's eyes widen a little seeing the hurt and despair from the chief's eyes, then he looked to Astrid who looked like she could barely stand. Did they think Hiccup was dead? Of course he wasn't, Toothless grabbed him...sort of. Toothless unfolds his wings, revealing Hiccup, unconscious, clutched safely against his chest. Stoick's eyes widen, Astrid's do as well seeing Hiccup's slightly injured body in Toothless's front and back legs just like the night on Raven point when Hiccup tried to kill himself.

"Hiccup..." Astrid breathes out while Stoick scoops Hiccup into his arms and put his head to Hiccup's chest, unable to hear anything at first, Stoick removes his helmet and listens close again. He heard it. Tha-tha-thump. Tha-tha-thump. Hiccup's heart beat was there. Stoick bursts into relieved laughter but also almost crying.

"He's alive!" Stoick announces proudly as people began to rejoice, Astrid's hands covered her mouth in disbelief. Hiccup was alive? He made it!? "You brought him back alive!" The crowd roars. Followed by the dragons. The Vikings look around to find themselves surrounded. Stoick leans close to Toothless, meeting him eye to eye. Astrid was so overjoyed he was alive, things would be okay. Everything would be okay now. "Thank you... for saving my son." Stoick tells Toothless privately who grunts and lays his head back down weakly, clearly tired.

Gobber looks Hiccup up and down. "Well, you know... most of him." Stoick glances back at him. Gobber shrugs, redirecting his eyes towards Hiccup's unconscious form. Astrid was now able to see just exactly what Gobber was talking about. Hiccup's left leg from just below the knee down was gone, that was going to take some adjusting. "He'll be needing that treated..." Gobber added now.

"We need to get back to Berk so Gothi can close that up..." Fishlegs interjected.

"But...it's already closed. Look at it, it was singed closed and only left the stump." Astrid pointed out. Toothless snorted again, weakly writing something in the dirt for Astrid to read off, "Toothless...says that the only way he was able to catch Hiccup was by grabbing his leg with his mouth and accidentally bit it off to pull Hiccup in to his wings when the fire encased around them. Oh...and that he's sorry but it was the only way to save him. He singed it closed himself and licked it in order to heal it..." Astrid read.

"We still need to get back to Berk and that dragon destroyed our ships..." Gobber said.

"Look! More ships from Berk are arriving with Birger leading the charge." Someone shouted, all of them now looking towards the beach area were a mass of 10 ships docking there.

"What are they doing here...?" Stoick asked.

"Birger my friend, what brings you here? How'd did you know to come?" Asked another villager.

"It was young Hiccup who told us." Birger replied walking over. A few people blinked in surprise, "When he awoke a few hours after you left wanting to know where everyone was, I told him you went searching for the nest. He immediately freaked out and ordered I prepare whatever ships were left on Berk and sail to this location on his map, he told us about the queen...then he sped off to get here himself." Birger explained.

"Hiccup knew we'd be in trouble...so he arranged for us to be safe...and he almost gave his life doing it. He...ended the war, there won't be anymore raids. Hiccup did it! He is the one the prophecy talked about, right down two them both losing something they need. Toothless's left tail fin...and now Hiccup's left leg." Fishlegs exclaimed.

"No time to waste, everyone to the ships!" Stoick ordered as he picked Hiccup up in his arms and carried him to the ship, Toothless slowly followed behind with Gobber, Astrid, and the teens. Stoick's ship sailed first so they could get back, then the others soon followed and within 3 hours everyone of the Hooligan tribe was back on Berk and those who wanted to know what happened were filled in. Stoick took Hiccup to the house and laid him in his bed which was now set on the first level near the fire. Gothi confirmed that he would live but as to when he'd wake up, she didn't know for sure.

Toothless, Astrid, and Stoick were Hiccup's most frequent visitors. Gobber and Gothi occasionally too, they'd all just sit with Hiccup. Talking to him, urging him to wake up but there was never a change. Everyone was upset about it, and this was only furthering the reason that they knew Hiccup would be an amazing chief one day. Twice now he'd put his life on the line to save the tribe when it had been Stoick's responsibility to ensure their safety. Everyone wanted him to wake up, so they could celebrate his victory.

Astrid hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy yet either, she wanted to wait for Hiccup because they still had a lot to talk about. And frankly she didn't want to face Stoick and her parents without Hiccup to help her, so she's wait for now and hide it the best she could. All anyone could do right now was just wait it out, and hope Hiccup would awaken soon.


	16. Just Hold On

**Hold On**

 **Author:** Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

 **Rated:** M for sex, language, attempted suicides.

 **Pairing:** Hiccup/Astrid.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own HTTYD. Though I wish I did :p

Chapter 16.

4 weeks passed since that fight with the dragon queen, and 4 weeks since Hiccup had lost his leg, then fallen in to a state of unconsciousness. People were beginning to wonder if he'd wake up at all. Toothless never left Hiccup's bedside, he stayed there all night and day. Stoick would bring him fish to eat so he didn't have to leave Hiccup's side, he wanted to be there when Hiccup woke up finally. Stoick made some changes in the village, he now allowed the dragons to live on Berk with them as long as they were trained by himself, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, and the twins first.

Things to house them had already started to be built, like a barn and feeding stations for them. Berk was now a dragon friendly, peace filled village and everyone loved it. Currently Hiccup was laying in his bed with Toothless guarding him almost, when Hiccup began to stir slowly trying to open his eyes and look around. Toothless warbled, huffing a bit and nudging Hiccup's face. "Hey, Toothless..." Toothless now licks his face happily stepping on the bed frame to nuzzle him. "I–I'm happy to see you too bud." Toothless steps on his groin by accident. "OW! What–Uh, I'm in my house. You're in my house...!" Hiccup exclaimed.

He was in his dad's house, his eyes widened. The queen, the dragons, Astrid...oh his head hurt. Toothless was bounding around happily jumping on beams and knocking things over, "Okay oka–no, Toothless! Aw, come on..." Hiccup sighed then shifts to get out of bed, then pauses sensing that something is wrong. He peels back the covers slowly. What he sees startles, horrifies, and overwhelms him all at once. He takes a few deep breaths as Toothless jumps down looking sadly at him, feeling guilty.

"You...saved me...didn't you?" Hiccup asks him, Toothless nods. His booted foot touches down. Followed by a mechanical prosthetic in place of his second leg. It's an spring-loaded replacement, made of wood and iron. Toothless lands by the bed and approaches calmly, sniffing the new leg. He raises his eyes to meet Hiccup's, seemingly aware of what Hiccup is going through. Hiccup braces himself on the bedpost and tries to stand on it. He winces and stifles the pain, "Okay...okay..." But he stumbles with the first step. Toothless catches Hiccup's fall with his head and slowly lifts him up, stabilizing him.

"Thanks bud." Hiccup leans on him like a crutch. They take a few steps together slowly and their missing parts form a poetic silhouette as they make their way toward the door. Hiccup pries it open with a grunt and looked outside to reveal a monstrous nightmare flapping outside the door. Hiccup yelps and slams the door closed. He turns to Toothless, alarmed. "Toothless? Stay here, bud." Hiccup tells him then pauses and cracks the door open again. He peeks outside, his eyes widening. He allows to door to swing open, to see the nightmare now visible to be Hookfang carrying Snotlout on his back.

"Come on guys, get ready! Hold on tight! Here we go!" Snotlout instructs a class of newbie dragon riders follow him through frame on a variety of dragons. Hiccup was lost in awe seeing Vikings and dragons mill about by the dozen, basking on the rooftops, weaving along the plaza. No one seemed upset, there wasn't a sword in sight. Under the framework of a barn, a Nadder shoots fire onto a metal brace. It steps back to let a Viking hammer it into shape. Nearby, a Gronckle lands, carrying a tree trunk in his mouth. He shows a Viking what he's found. The Viking pats his head. Another Viking backs a Zippleback into a stall to check it for size.

Hiccup takes a step outside, finding his father waiting for him. "I knew it. I'm dead." Hiccup says in disbelief but Stoick only laughs.

"No, but you gave it your best shot." Stoick replies as he puts his arm around Hiccup, steadying him. He gestures to the transformed village. "So? What do you think?" Hiccup just shrugs, amazed. Below, the plaza, villagers take notice of Hiccup being awake and outside.

"Hey look! It's Hiccup!" They rush over, surrounding him with a hero's welcome.

"Hiccup, how you doin' mate?" One asks quickly.

"It's great to see you up and about." Another adds smiling. Gobber pushes through the crowd, beaming proudly.

Motioning to the prosthetic tail now he says, "That bit's my handiwork. With a little Hiccup flare thrown in...Think it'll do?"

Hiccup now coming to terms with his lost leg, smiles bitter-sweetly. "I might make a few tweaks." A few people laugh at his words since he was definitely the inventive type. For Thor's sake he built a working dragon tail, his eyes widened a bit. Toothless's tail! It burnt off in the fight. Suddenly Gobber presents him with a rebuilt saddle, rigging, and tail.

"Welcome home." Gobber tells him smiling softly. Toothless pounces on the crowd, crushing several unsuspecting Vikings under his weight.

"Easy bud." Hiccup tells him while rubbing his head. Astrid walks up and jabs Hiccup in the arm. Hiccup recoils with a grumble.

"That's for scaring me..." Astrid tells him firmly. Hiccup rubs his arm a little.

"What, is it always going to be this way? Cause I..." Hiccup gets cut off by Astrid aggressively grabbing the front of his tunic then kisses him deeply making him blush. People began to hoot and holler at the scene, Astrid pulls away blushing as well. "I could get used to it..." Hiccup smiled as Astrid smiles. Hiccup them remembers what Astrid told him before the fight, that she was pregnant with their child, fear seems to wash over his face while he completely forgets their surrounded by the entire village. "Oh my Gods...Astrid...The baby, please tell me our baby is okay?..." Hiccup asked quickly.

Utter silence fell over the area in an instant as Astrid's eyes widened, then Hiccup realized what he said. He just revealed Astrid was pregnant. And that it was their baby, all eyes were on them now. "What did you just say son?" Stoick asked right away, obviously in disbelief of what he'd heard.

Hiccup slowly looked over at his father, he'd completely forgotten no one knew. "Well they had to find out eventually...its not like I could really hide it anymore babe..." Astrid sighed as she lifted her shirt a little revealing the baby bump there, clearly much larger now without the clothing to hide it.

"Astrid dear...Yo–you're...pregnant?" Hildegard, her mother asked with wide eyes. Astrid sheepishly nodded to her parents, Hiccup now looked at Stoick who was also very much beside himself.

"And yes, Hiccup...The baby is fine. You've...been unconscious for a month since the fight with the queen." Astrid told him.

"Hiccup..." Stoick said in a warning tone, Hiccup winced a little.

"I'm in...trouble aren't I?" Hiccup asked slowly.

"You, Astrid, and her parents...my house. Right now." Stoick ordered. Without argument, Hiccup held Astrid's hand as he walked back in to the house and leading Astrid with him. Hildegard and Calder followed afterwards while Stoick brought up the rear shutting the door after Toothless came in and sat beside Hiccup on his back legs. Everyone took a seat slowly, eyes on the young couple. "Start talking, and don't leave anything out." Stoick demanded as calmly as he could manage.

Hiccup sighed as he looked to Astrid, then his father. "Its...really not that hard to explain dad...Astrid and I...have made love before. And now she's...pregnant." Hiccup admitted.

"When." Calder spoke up now.

"First time was...the night of my 16th birthday..." Hiccup answered quietly.

"First time? You've done it more than once?" Stoick boomed.

"Will you...keep your voice down please! Yes okay...Astrid and I have made love a few times..." Hiccup mumbled out.

"Hiccup, don't get huffy right now. This is serious, I've warned you about these things! We discussed them right before you started training dragons...I told you how serious this was then and if...she's...how far along is she?" Stoick asked quickly.

"Th–three months..." Astrid replied shakily.

"If she's this far along then she conceived the night of your birthday...Oh Odin son, that's why you were asking all those questions about underage marriage contracts...you knew she was pregnant and were afraid to tell me." Stoick slapped his hand over his face in defeat.

"Actually...I was asking because I was genuinely curious about it. I mean I am supposed to be chief one day, I might as well know. And for the record...I didn't know Astrid was with child until just before the fight with the queen..." Hiccup retorted.

"Wait...that's what you two were talking about?...So Astrid knew and didn't tell anyone?" Stoick asked.

"I–I didn't know I was pregnant until we were on the ship and I overheard Arvid telling Colden about Helga being pregnant...I just listened to the symptoms he listed off and compared them to my own...and then it just hit me. That's why I got sick, because I couldn't believe it...and when I saw Hiccup arrive at the nest, that he wanted to fight the queen...I was terrified to lose him, that...I'd have to raise this baby alone and it would never have a father..." Astrid looked down sadly, Hiccup squeezed her hand lovingly.

"I'm alive, as I promised I would be babe and you won't have to raise the baby alone because I'm here. You've got me, and my full support on this." Hiccup assured her with a smile.

"But this is not how it's done son, I told you all this that day. How did this happen, I don't want to know words for word or detail about the night in question but why in the name of Thor did you two have sex when you knew you weren't supposed too. Hiccup I told you as the soon to be chief not to engage in curious behavior...To avoid these types of mistakes." Stoick stared at them.

Hiccup now stood up angrily facing his father, "Stop yelling at me alright?! I just woke up 15 minutes ago and already you're starting. This...Astrid being pregnant might be a mistake to you but its everything to me. I will never regret my choice that night, and I will never leave her side. I said years ago I'd marry her and she and I would rule Berk as chief and chieftess together. That hasn't changed in my goals, I still want all that." Hiccup growled.

"But Hiccup..." Stoick began.

"No! No buts dad. Alright, as much as a shock it was to me to find out right before I went in to battle...my choice hasn't changed. I want to be with Astrid and we'll raise our child together. Astrid is carrying the next Haddock heir dad. My heir to Berk. And she's the woman I'm madly in love with so I couldn't be friggen happier than I am right now. And if you try and take this away from me...I swear to Odin on my mother's grave I will kill myself and no one will stop me. You've never given me anything else in life. I finally got your acceptance, and that you're proud of me...But this...a life with Astrid and our baby...this is what I want more than anything else." Hiccup said slowly.

Stoick tensed hearing Hiccup threaten to kill himself if he denied Hiccup this, there were ways to rid pregnancy in its early stages but Stoick knew if he didn't allow Hiccup to carry this through then Hiccup would never forgive him, and he'd kill himself on top of it.

"I befriended a Night Fury who is now my best friend in the world. I defeated the queen and set them all free from enslavement, I brought peace to Berk and ended a 300 year war...I know you're proud of me for all that. But the greatest thing I could ask for is your blessing on this. You told me my choices when I asked about all this stuff, the loopholes and marriage contracts starting at age 17...I'm not going to leave her, dad. I love Astrid...I always have and always will. I'm happy about this...You know I'll take care of her, and the baby. After all I've done the last few months, I'm sure you know I'm more than capable of it. You even said you felt I was ready to take over chief of Berk...I don't care about that...I care about Astrid and our child...Let me be happy Let...us be happy. Please?..." Hiccup asked calmer now.

Stoick looked at Hidegard and Calder now, their eyes having a silent conversation with one another while Hiccup and Astrid waited for a response.

"You're right son." Stoick finally said. Hiccup looked at him quickly, his father was agreeing with him. "I promised you that I would always stand beside you and be here for you no matter what so I will not go back on what I said. I won't risk losing you, not over the gift of life. I told you before that your mother and I...had a lot of difficulties conceiving and when we did...we lost them before birth, and after..." Stoick sighed lowering his head.

"So you're saying...you're okay with this? That Astrid and myself raise our baby?" Hiccup asked.

"Yes, Hiccup. That's what I'm sayin, but...I want her not being stubborn about going to Gothi if something feels off, ya understand? You are a Hiccup son and you were born early, you almost didn't survive...and I don't want you and Astrid havin to go through the same thing yer mother and I did." Stoick told him firmly.

"I promise I won't give any trouble about going to Gothi, chief." Astrid nodded smiling. Hiccup held her hand, both of them overwhelmed with joy that their parents were allowing this.

"Right then. And of course we want updates." Calder stated.

"And we'd like to know how you two came to this decision to well you know that night, and your plans for the future. Given the circumstances of well your ages...I'm sure your father filled you in on all the...legality matters." Hildegard added.

"He knows. You remember what I told you right son?" Stoick asked.

"I do. Given all...this can Astrid and I...you know talk first?" Hiccup asked.

"Well can't you just ask her now so we can handle all the legal matters?" Stoick blinked.

"Ask me what, Hiccup?" Astrid questioned curiously. "What are they talking about?" Astrid added.

"I'll tell you later...You wanted the story first?" Hiccup mentioned.

"Yes, continue on son." Calder answered.

"I–it's not his fault. I kind'a pushed him in to it..." Astrid admitted making the three adults look at her a little shocked. "Hiccup and I left his party after I gave him something that...he'd given me a long time ago. You remember those purple flowers I always came home with until I was like 10...Well they were from Hiccup because we were best friends when we were kids, and well I kept them pressed in my journal. I wanted Hiccup to know I remembered everything, that we'd been friends and made a lot of plans for the future, and I also remembered hurting him...He took me on a romantic flight to see the sunset, and northern lights...then we left Toothless in the cove and went for a walk to talk...I told him about the dream I'd had where I saw him kill himself, because I betrayed him...But in that dream I also realized how much I loved him." Astrid began softly.

"And after talking I decided to forgive her, told her I loved her back and always had. We...ended up making out and...you know the hormones of a 16 year old boy took over and...do I really need to keep going?" Hiccup asked nervously.

"No I think we get where it went from there, but Astrid why are you saying it was your fault?" Hildegard asked curiously.

"Because when Hiccup got aroused from making out, I told him it was okay that it was just a natural reaction and he said that he wanted me intimately. And I said to give it what he wants. I'm the one to go ahead and do it. He was against it because he knew those things are supposed to be saved for marriage and if anyone found out we'd be dead...Then got mad at himself for even considering the idea. He asked out right what I wanted so I told him I wanted him to make love to me. Little arguing later and it came down to us agreeing to keep it a secret. Then we just did it..." Astrid admitted boldly.

"And you two were gone for 3 hours so how long did this go on for?" Stoick asked next.

"Well my theory of how I got pregnant is the fact Hiccup has amazing stamina because we went for two hours without a break." Astrid remarked, instantly the color drained from Hiccup's face as Calder, Stoick, and Hildegard's mouths dropped open.

"ASTRID!" Hiccup whispered harshly in fear, oh Gods kill him now.

"I could barely walk for the first 20 minutes." Astrid gleamed proudly. Hiccup wanted to die, oh gods he wished he'd been killed by the queen right about now. "What did I say babe?" Astrid added innocently.

"You damn well know what you said!" Hiccup grumbled hiding his face in his hands as Toothless gave a throaty laugh, Hiccup picked up a bowl and threw it at Toothless. "You shut up, you're not helping you useless reptile!" Hiccup mumbled to his friend.

"All I said was you have amazing stamina and made it so I couldn't walk. Not my fault you are bigger in more places than your arms, Hiccup. You're not a 'Hiccup' in all parts babe." Astrid winked.

"OKAY!" Hiccup yelled, "I'm gonna throw myself off the cliff now." With that he started to head for the door but Toothless put out his tail and tripped him so he fell face first. "Bud! You're supposed to be helping me!"

"Well I think we...get the gist of it..." Calder blinked in shock having heard way more than he wanted to or needed to hear. His wife nodded agreeing while Stoick went over and gave Hiccup a pat on the back laughing.

"Ah good lad! Guess we do share some of the same qualities after all son! Yer mother said the same thing about me after our first time too." Stoick chuckled. "Well except that I wasn't a Hiccup but well you know what I mean."

"Yep, going to die now." Hiccup raced out of the house for fresh air, Astrid got up to follow him and then Toothless did the same.

"Well this has been a productive day." Stoick beamed.

"I think you scarred him, chief..." Hildegard stated.

"He'll be fine." Stoick said as he shook hands with Astrid's parents before they left and returned to their own home. Stoick sat down in his chair now, he was going to be a grandfather in 6 months. What could be better? Nothing.

Astrid and Toothless followed Hiccup in to the forest, they knew where he went too. The cove because it was his favorite place to be when he needed to think about things. Hiccup had taken off in a sprint there so they knew he'd get there before them. When they arrived they saw him sitting on a rock quietly staring off into the nothingness of the cove. "Hiccup?" Astrid asked slowly fearing she might have made him upset with what she said.

Hiccup looked over and saw her trying to climb down, he rushed over to help her so she wouldn't get hurt. "Easy babe..." Hiccup reminded her now helping her over towards the shack so she could sit down.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in there...was just trying to lighten the mood a little..." Astrid mumbled sadly.

"Its okay, I'm not mad about that. Could of used less information about my father's sex life but eh, what can ya do. That's how parents are." Hiccup shrugged, "I ran off because I needed air, I didn't wanna get the talk again or be pressured to ask you to marry me." Hiccup sighed.

"Why would that be pressuring, you told them you wanted too." Astrid asked softly.

"And I do, Astrid. But I didn't wanna do it on the spot in front of them. I wanted to make it special for you...They wanted me to do it there so they can start a contract up, then start the wedding planning." Hiccup groaned out sitting down next to her looking down.

"I can respect that. Hiccup are you...sure you're okay with all this? Us having a baby so young?..." Astrid asked him gently now, almost nervously.

"Of course I am, I wouldn't of said all those things in there if I wasn't okay with this. Are you alright with it?" Hiccup returned the question on to her.

"Well its...certainly new to me and I have no idea what kind of a mother I'll make but yeah, I'm alright with it. I don't know if I would be had it been with someone else, but with you...I honestly can't see it any other way." Astrid smiled at him now.

"Me either, I'm glad things worked out this way..." Hiccup reached over and held her hand in his, stroking his thumb over her knuckles. He leaned in now and gave her a quick kiss, she returned it fully before they separated. "I guess we should go back, you're carrying the Haddock heir babe. It's gotta be made in to a formal announcement according to customs and I of course, have to be the one to announce it because I'm heir myself..." Hiccup mumbled out sighing.

"We'll do it together, Hiccup. I'll always be right by your side, I promise." Astrid replied to him smiling. It was in this moment that Hiccup stared at her for a few seconds, she was radiant, a goddess in his eyes. He loved her with his everything, and he knew he'd never love another woman like he loved her. He wouldn't anyone else period, Astrid was the love of his life and she always had been since they were little kids.

"Astrid..." Hiccup started slowly. "I don't have anything to ask this with, but the way I see it...I shouldn't have to give you something to prove my love for you when we made love, and created new life together with that love. I suck at speeches so bare with me for a second..." He took a deep breath getting to one knee and looking up at her. "I love you, Astrid. I love you with all my heart. You're the only one for me, the only one I'll ever love. Without you, I'm nothing. I want to be with you forever and always, just like we said when we were kids. Astrid Hofferson, I promise to always be by your side. I promise to love you, care for you, protect you for the rest of my life. We've been best friends most of our lives, and now I am asking that you take on a journey with me...and become my wife. Will you do you me the greatest honor and marry me, Astrid? Will you become Mrs. Astrid Haddock?" Hiccup asked her.

Astrid couldn't help the tears that fell from her blue eyes, she smiled happily and threw herself at him. Astrid pressed her lips to his deeply then they broke apart. "YES! Yes I will absolutely marry you, Hiccup!" Astrid exclaimed. They kissed again laughing in one another's arms. Both of them were so incredibly happy and no one could ruin it. The past was put behind them, the present was amazing, and the future was only looking brighter and better for them. It was this moment that Hiccup realized sometimes all you need in life to be truly happy is that things always get better and all you need to do is just hold on.


End file.
